


A Fascination with Future and Past

by tsnitch



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action/Adventure, Brief Albus/OC, Death, Dirty Talk, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Fluff and Angst, Humor, M/M, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, Pining, Seer Scorpius, Sexual Tension, Slytherin Albus, Slytherin Scorpius, Social Anxiety, Some Humor, Teenage Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 22:26:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 59,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4763306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsnitch/pseuds/tsnitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scorpius Malfoy — annoying, spoiled and utterly perfect. The worst thing is, I didn’t realise this until he was already irrevocably mad at me. Ok, no, the worst thing is that I can't stop thinking about him. No, the worst thing is that he doesn't even speak to me any more. His arse is so unforgivably nice. It's a really, really nice arse. At least I can stare at that while he walks away from me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Start from the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! The thing is, I have a really strong aversion to the epilogue of the last HP book. So I can't understand where this came from? I had this idea for a long time actually, and wanted to do seven fics about Albus and Seer!Scorpius. It will only be one fic though, as I have trouble committing to large projects. 
> 
> I hope you'll like it! I already wrote much more than this chapter, so it will hopefully be a short wait between updates. 
> 
> And as always, I do not own anything that constitutes the wonderful and awesome world of Harry Potter. I'm only borrowing. 
> 
> If you leave Kudos I will love you forever.

Scorpius Malfoy — annoying, spoiled and utterly perfect. The worst thing is, I didn’t realise this until he was already irrevocably mad at me. Ok, no, the worst thing is that I can't stop thinking about him. No, the worst thing is that he doesn't even speak to me any more. His arse is so unforgivably nice. It's a really, really nice arse. At least I can stare at that while he walks away from me. 

 

If I'm being completely honest, the whole thing was my fault. But you have to understand, when we were kids, he was so different. 

 

Well, that's not... exactly true. But he was so... Annoying. 

 

Lets start from the beginning, right? 

 

When I started at Hogwarts I was nervous as hell. Merlin’s balls, I was such a little coward. I knew I wasn’t going to be a Gryffindor and it felt like the end of the world. My dad, you probably know him, tried to tell me that it was fine. But I listened to James, and Merlin knows nothing good ever came from that. 

 

So there I was, sweating and nauseous, trying to get my brothers taunts out of my head, and suddenly someone was yanking on my sleeve.

 

“Excuse me! Are you Albus Potter? My father went to school with your father!” My first instinct was of course to scoff at him. Rude? You try living with this kind of thing for the entirety of your life then, see how you like it. 

 

“Well the least you could do is shake my hand, we are going to be stuck together in this castle for seven years, you know!” He scowled right back at me.

 

I glared at him but stuck out my hand anyway, didn’t want to argue with him I guess, I kept thinking about the sorting hat and subsequently, my impending doom. 

 

“Pleased to meet you, I'm Scorpius Malfoy!” He smiled at me as soon as I relented to shake his hand, and that's so typically him. Happy once he gets his way. 

 

“Albus Potter.” I answered. 

 

“I knew it! You look just like him you know.” He smiled in a self-satisfied kind of way.

 

“So everyone tells me.” I muttered. 

 

He kept on chatting like an overly excited crup and I can't for the life of me remember what he talked about. I wasn't listening, staring at the small seat like it was my own personal boggart. 

 

“Potter, Albus.” Neville, my godfather, tried to look encouraging as I walked towards the hat that would decide my entire future (at least, that's what it felt like at the time), I heard whispers erupt and my name sparked a lot of excited murmur from the Gryffindor table. 

 

The hat descended on my head and didn't even have time to properly land before it bellowed: “SLYTHERIN” 

 

So much for bargaining with the old rag. 

 

I still remember the horrified silence that descended over the shocked student body. It lasted far too long before someone felt sorry for me and started to clap slowly as if asking for permission before others joined in. 

 

I felt like crying. It wasn’t the most dignified moment of my life, all right? 

 

The thing was, Scorpius also sorted Slytherin and was the only person who dared to speak to me that first night. I guess I didn’t really appreciate the gesture as much as I should have, I just wanted to go home and Scorpius well-meaning but insistent chattering was driving me mad. 

 

So I could have handled the situation better. I hate to admit it, but towards the end of the night I may have told him to shut up. 

 

His disappointed look made me feel like an arse, but before I could apologise, he ran to his dorm and I didn't see him again until next morning. And by that time, it felt like it was too late to bring it up.

 

Yes, yes all right. It wasn't my most gallant moment. 

 

My first week wasn't lonely per se, because of my abundance of relatives that 'took care of me' (more like got me in trouble), but I didn't really get to know anyone in Slytherin. 

 

I wasn't the only Potter/Weasley in Slytherin though, but my cousin Fred was that age when he didn't really want to affiliate with any of the kids (his words, not mine).

 

That all changed when Penelope Parkinson decided that the girls in Slytherin wasn't really her cup of tea. The thing with Penny is that she gets you to think that you have a choice in the matter, but you soon realise that she only orchestrates the illusion of choice, and if she wants something, she gets it. 

 

“Potter.” Penny sat down beside me in the library one day in the second week of my first year at Hogwarts. 

 

“Yes?” I answered, a bit startled. 

 

“Can I sit down? I need some help with the transfiguration homework.” She affected a bored drawl. 

 

“I guess?” I was still a bit socially slow-witted back then. 

 

“Can you show me where to find that spell that she wanted us to write about? I wasn't really paying attention.” She sat down and took out her books.

 

“Sure?” I answered, and that was the epic story of how I managed to acquire my first real friend, and I wasn't even all that involved in the process. 

 

But once you get stuck with Penny, you can't shake her off. Not that I would want to, mind you. Well, to be perfectly honest, the thought has crossed my mind. But only once... or maybe twice. 

 

My second friend was also Penny's choice. She investigated the possibility of us becoming a trio by spying on Gabriel Hill for one week before telling me that she decided on 'expanding our friendship' by inviting him to one of our study-sessions. Apparently, the reason why she chose Gabe was because of his unmistakable talent for charming teachers, a skill which she wanted to learn and that I apparently 'lacked any aptitude for'. For some reason she never felt the need to sugar-coat her words with me. 

 

Gabe actually lived in my room, so I guess us knowing each other was inevitable, or maybe that's what Penny wants me to think. 

 

Gabe is very likeable, a social chameleon, I guess. He managed to charm even me, and I'm not really a friendly sort of person. 

 

Scorpius talked to everyone, but no one talked to Scorpius. Maybe I should have realised that he was lonely, but I was just a kid, and a socially inapt one at that. He talked so much, and he had an act for answering his own questions. Kind of dramatic as well. Everything he told you about was always the 'best ever' or 'worst sausages in his life' or 'it rained so much you couldn’t even see your feet'. His exaggerations made me disregard everything he said. 

 

So when he cornered me, Penny and Gabe when we were trying to sneak out to the kitchens after curfew, it didn’t exactly enamour us towards him.

 

“If you don't take me with you, I'm going to tell Professor Ellis!” He whispered, flushed pink, still in his pyjamas.

 

“Fine then, but keep your ever-yapping mouth shut Scorpius!” Penny snarled, before she grabbed hold of his arm and dragged him out of the common room. The whole situation made me so annoyed, and his apparent glee caused by the fact that he got to tag along made me even angrier. Yes, I know I was a bit unfair. 

 

The whole thing was a catastrophe, we were caught because Scorpius stumbled into an armour on the way back. We all got very mad at each other, and I don't really want to repeat what I said to Scorpius that night (to avoid sounding like an even bigger twat then I already do), but it did include words that Fred taught me and that my mother would strongly disapprove of. 

 

He cried.

 

Scorpius didn't really speak to me after that, and at first I was glad. Penny and he made up, they've known each other their whole life, and nobody can stay mad at Gabe. But me and him, we never got over it. 

 

It took me awhile before I started to miss him and his crazy stories, not that we were friends, but he was sweet in a way. Happy. Exuberant. Funny. 

 

When the regret started to emerge he was already spending most of his time in Ravenclaw tower. And I told myself I didn’t care. Which was mostly true, at the time.

 

–------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The first time I really felt sorry for Scorpius Malfoy was in second year. All of us was walking from Herbology when he got struck by a snowball. At first, I laughed with all the others before I realised that he was the only one getting hit. 

 

He was struck by another five snowballs before I even thought about doing anything. I ran up to him to get them to stop, but before I could reach him Eric Goyle moved to stand in front of him, when Scorpius was struck by a particularity hard one, and fell to the ground. 

 

“Sod off!” Eric screamed towards the attacking kids, Gryffindors mostly.

 

“Screw you, you stinking pile of death eater scum!” Someone answered. I remember being totally shocked, never really having thought of Scorpius or Eric as anything other than slightly annoying (in Scorpius case), or slightly intimidating (because of Eric's sheer size, even at tender the age of twelve). 

 

“Go home!” Another one shouted, and proceeded to throw snowballs at Eric as well. 

 

“Stop it!” I shouted, my voice breaking due to stress (yes, I know, not very intimidating at all), flailing my arms in a very awkward sort of way, like the total moron that I am. 

 

“This doesn't concern you, Potter!” One of the bigger kids shouted, but the snowballs had stopped.

 

“I don't care, it isn't right!” I screamed back, like a complete and utter dork. 

 

Eric was helping Scorpius up, and Penny and Gabe was coming over. 

 

“You're a dork Potter!” Someone replied unnecessarily. I felt my face heat up, making the whole situation worse. But fortunately, they were turning away, which had less to do with me and more to do with the fact that Scorpius was surrounded by his classmates.

 

“I don't need your help Potter!” Scorpius sneered, equally red and very wet. 

 

I was stunned by his aggressiveness, but Slytherins are notoriously sensitive about humiliation, so I should have predicted it. 

 

“Fine!” I said, a bit unnecessarily harsh, as Penny's disapproving stare was letting me know. Penny went up to him and whispered something that sounded like “Are you okay?”, an enquiry to which she received a short nod before Scorpius turned and walked decisively towards the castle. 

 

“Oh Albus! My hero!” Gabe simpered teasingly. 

 

“Shut up.” I grumbled in response, totally mortified. 

 

The thing was, that incident made me see Scorpius like less of a nuisance and more of a person. But due to my previous failure at trying to do the right thing, I was reluctant to engage in any sort of interaction with him. 

 

The whole situation was made worse by him befriending my cousin Rose, but at least he didn't look so lonely any more. 

 

Rose and Scorpius was actually very alike. Both were studious to an extreme, and kind of high strung. They were also both having a hard time fitting in, something I didn't recognise then, but can see clearly now that I left my idiot years behind me. 

 

Their friendship made me kind of jealous as well, never really having been close to Rose myself. Another thing I didn't realise until later. 

 

“Albie!” Rose ran past the potions classroom towards me. 

 

“Don't call me that!” I said, embarrassed by the nickname given to me by the family. I always hoped it would stay locked safely behind the doors of the mad house that constituted the Potter/Weasley relations. 

 

“Oh no, I'm so sorry for cramping your style.” Rose said in a deadpan voice, rolling her eyes at me. I then realised that Scorpius was behind her, moving towards us in a much more subdued pace. He kept his eyes on the floor, avoiding me. 

 

“What do you want?” Scorpius obvious aversion towards me made me somewhat crankier than strictly necessary towards my cousin. 

 

“Aren't you a ray of sunshine today? Stop being such a little bitch.” She smacked my arm, harder than you think would be possible for someone of such a small size. 

 

“Ouch! Stop abusing me and just tell me what you want!” Scorpius still hadn't looked up.

 

“Fine then, Mr Grouch-a-lot. The thing is, I'm going to Scorpius house for Christmas and I need you to keep Hugo from blowing anything up at the Burrow.” She said in her bossy-voice, which was the voice she normally used.

 

“What?!” I may have said in a way too dramatic kind of way.

 

“Well, you're the only one, except for me that is, that can see through his devious plans.” She eyed me shrewdly, “in my case, I put it down to intelligence, but in your case I really don't know how you do it.” She turned to Scorpius, “Maybe some kind of Slytherin secret manipulation detector?” He shook his head with a small smile. 

 

“Anyway, can I count on you to keep him alive?” She turned back to me.

 

“What's in it for me?” I said, after a beat too long.

 

“My Viktor Krum autographed poster is looking for a new home.” She eyed her nails in an obvious way to make her look more casual, even though she knew exactly what kind of leverage she was wielding. 

 

“What?! James is going to have kneazels!” The possibilities with that kind of artefact in my hands was endless. I could get a whole summer worth of not doing dishes if I promised it to him. 

 

“Take it or leave it.” She smirked in a way that told me just how irresistible the transaction was. 

 

“Deal.” I said, putting my hand out to shake. 

 

“If he injures himself or someone else, gnomes not included, I will have your head.” She shakes it. 

 

When she and Scorpius walks away, I'm overcome with some stupid urge to get him to look at me. I couldn't bare the thought that he was going to walk away, spend Christmas with Rose, and not even look at me. 

 

That feeling made me shout, “Merry Christmas Scorpius!” to my own complete mortification. Rose looked at me like I was an idiot, but Scorpius looked as well, and his blush made my stomach twist and flutter in a weirdly uncomfortable way. 

 

Another thing I didn’t recognize until much later.


	2. How to make a bad situation worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm so sorry I took so long before posting a new chapter! I moved to London and the last few weeks have been chaos. I promise I will finish this! 
> 
> I want to thank all of you who left kudos (and especially Order 66 for commenting!), this made me so happy! =)

 

 

Third year was the year when I managed to make a bad situation worse. At first, the year kind of started off in a spectacular fashion, I made it into the Quidditch team seemingly accidentally.

 

 

“Albie!” Rose shouted when I walked in to sit down and have breakfast with Penny and Gabe, she was sitting at the Ravenclaw house table and couldn't be bothered to get up. Everyone always gave her anything she wanted anyway, and she was the only one who could get away with calling me Albie in front of other people. Well, she and Lily. There was something really scary about the women in our family.

 

I begrudgingly got up and walked over to her, she made room for me to sit beside her on the bench by practically shoving some boy out of the way.

 

“What is it Rose?” I internally sighed. To externally sigh would be a huge mistake, even I, with my aptitude for social faux pas, knew that.

 

“I hear that there is an opening on the Quidditch team.” She said, spreading jam on her toast in a nonchalant way.

 

“So?” I asked her, gazing longingly towards the cup of coffee that waited for me on my usual spot.

 

“It's a beater position.” She looked at me with a gleam in her eye. I would always play beater with my cousin Fred at the Weasley gatherings. We were unstoppable together, and he played the same position on the Slytherin team with some boy named Peter.

 

“Since when?” I asked, forgetting all about my coffee.

 

“Since half an hour ago. They're still out there.” She smiled at me, and made me remember why I loved her. I was out of the Great Hall before I even took a conscious decision to do so.

 

I never actually wanted to play Quidditch in school. It already felt as if everything at home revolved around the game at home, what with my mother on the Holly Harpies and my brothers fanatic interest and my whole extended family talking about it constantly. But it was the feeling of being good at something, of being unstoppable that made me want it. I was only ever good playing with Fred though – maybe it had something to do with the fact that he trained me – or maybe we had some deeper connection, I don't know. But we were definitely good together, and Fred was good by himself – and quite awesome teamed up with Peter as well. I never could do it with others though.

 

It also had something to do with James. James only ever respected me as a beater. He even approved.

 

I practically ran outside to the pitch, and Freds, “Thank good!” when he saw me made me so incredibly happy. Me and Fred, we weren't really friends, he was always the older and cooler guy that looked at you like you were a good-for-nothing kid.

 

“I'm here.” I said, nervous and excited, and that was the only thing I needed to do to make the team.

 

I never even thought about Peter in the infirmary, who broke his shoulder so bad, he couldn't play Quidditch for four whole months.

 

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

And with Quidditch came popularity. I don't know if I really liked it, but it was new and therefore exciting. Penny and Gabe exploited it, naturally, and often winded up with more friends then me, because of my quiet and withdrawn personality.

 

And with popularity came girls. I had never really been interesting to them before, slipping under the radar and quite happy with it, but now it seemed like I was suddenly a magnet for all kinds of attention.

 

Me, being me, made most of their attempts short lived. But some persisted, and I was too awkward to tell them to leave me be, so I went on dates for the first time in my life.

 

Most of them were awful. Girls that expected me to take them to Madame Puddifoots, sit there in awkward silence and then pay for tea and cake that never was my kind of thing anyway. And it always ended up with me being cross-examined by Penny and Gabe, which in turn always ended up with them laughing their arses off and me being totally humiliated.

 

But to get back on track as to why I made the whole Scorpius situation worse. It really was one of the worst moments of my life. I was sitting in a booth at Madame Puddifoot's with a blonde girl I can't even remember the name of, when I started to think about other stuff, not really listening to the conversation (rude I know. It gets worse). She was talking very much, to fill the silence with something I guess, and I couldn't really be bothered to pay attention to what she was saying. And then she asked me a question, looking imploringly at me, and I, in my infinite stupidity answered a startled, “Yeah.”, not even knowing what I was agreeing to.

 

“Right?” She said, “It really gives this school a bad reputation, having children of Death Eaters here. My friend at Beauxbatons said that they never would've let students like that attend.” She said.

 

But I was to busy staring at Scorpius retreating back, and Rose's face twisted with anger, to answer her, feeling my stomach fill with dread.

 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Going over the situation a hundred times in my head, cursing myself for not paying attention to what the girl was saying, cursing Scorpius for being there at that exact time (unfair I know), but most of all cursing the girl for saying those things and myself for not even contradicting her after, choosing instead to excuse myself and just fleeing the scene.

 

All these things made me feel sick to my stomach. I wanted to apologise, but I really was a coward, and it took me a whole week to work up the nerve to talk to him.

 

“Scorpius, wait up!” I called out to him one day after Potions, surprising myself almost as much as Penny who looked at me with such large eyes it was almost comical, or it would have been, if I hadn't felt like I was going to throw up at the time.

 

Rose looked at him worryingly when he stopped, and then at me angrily (as if I wasn't angry enough at myself). But he must have reassured her in some way, because she nodded and continued walking by herself.

 

Scorpius took a deep breath before he turned around, but I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe at all.

 

“Hi.” I said unnecessarily, stupidly.

 

He just waited for me to carry on in silence.

 

“Well..... I just wanted to say that I wasn't paying attention....”

He raised one perfectly arched eyebrow.

 

“The girl. To what she was saying. I wasn't paying attention.” I remember sweating like it was a day in July instead of a day in a freezing cold castle mid-November.

 

“Fine.” He shrugged, looking at the floor. I suddenly realised that I hadn't even told him I was sorry.

 

“No!” I said, overly loud, and that startled him so his eyes rose from the floor to fixate on my face instead. “No.” I repeated unnecessarily.

 

“I mean, I'm really sorry. I'm sorry.” I said twice, suddenly having problems saying things just once.

 

“It's fine.” His eyes that was staring back at me seemed utterly passionless. Very much uninterested in what I had to say, and that made me feel desperate. I reached for his arm, as if my touch would somehow make him understand the depth of my regret, but he recoiled from my reaching hand, which made my whole body flush with embarrassment.

 

“I mean it.” I whispered. He turned around and walked away.

 

 

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

_Dear Albus,_

 

_Hermione told me about what you said to Scorpius Malfoy. I know it can be difficult to understand some things about the war, especially because I refrain from speaking to you about it. If you have questions about anything at all, don't hesitate to ask._

 

_I was once judged by a good man because of my fathers actions, and it was not only unfair, but it made me resent him in such a way, that working with him (as I should have done) was impossible for me. If I had acted in a better way towards him, and he towards me, things could've ended differently. I regret our non-existent relationship every day, knowing that it could've saved more people. He was a good man, and I know that you will be a good man, as you are already extraordinary._

 

_I love you with all my heart. Your mother tells me to tell you to write more often. I will see you soon._

 

 

Reading the letter from my dad filled me with such intense shame I stayed in my bed for two days straight before Penny forced me up one Wednesday morning. I couldn't look at Scorpius without feeling queasy, and ended up actively avoiding him every chance I got.

 

I went home that Christmas almost dreading seeing my dad, a thing that had never ever happened before (but he had never been disappointed in me before either).

 

I took two days of me avoiding him before he sat me down and told me he wasn't mad, I broke down crying and ended up telling him about the whole thing, and we went to the cinema, just me and him afterwards. Which made me feel guilty again, but also relieved.

 

“You know you can always tell me about anything, right?” He told me before going home.

 

“I know.” I said, not really meaning it.

 

 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

The rest of the year helped in some ways to patch up my relationship with Rose. She shouted at me at our Christmas party with the Weasleys for being a 'bloody wanker', and then seemed to conclude that she couldn't really blame me for being an 'inconsiderate arsehole' because of the fact that all teenage boys were. Which was a bit overly-stereotyping of her, I thought, but forgave her because I felt like I deserved that and much more.

 

My dating life stopped completely though, as I seemed to be traumatised enough to learn how to say no. Everything bad also comes with something good, right?

 

 

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

The summer between third and fourth year resulted in a much awaited growth spurt. James, long and gangly, had lorded his superior size over me for way too long.

 

James was very charismatic, with his coppery-brown hair and Weasley-genes, he was more like my uncles in both looks and personality. Open, boisterous and funny (in a very immature sort of way), he made friends very easily and charmed his way to the top of the social hierarchy. Some of it was the privilege of being a Potter, of course, but he was an easy going kind of person and thus very likeable.

 

When I was younger, I envied him for it. I stumbled through social interactions like a newborn hippogriff, not really accomplishing anything other than making myself look like an awkward introvert.

 

At least being taller, he couldn't sit on me as easily as before, which resulted in a much higher quality of life, I'll tell you.

 

When I boarded the train In the beginning of fourth year Penny was shocked.

 

“Albus?! What the bloody hell happened to you?!” She almost shrieked, and that high pitch made so many people turn their heads to stare, causing me to blush a very unattractive shade of purplish red.

 

“Nothing to see here, move on people!” Gabe came to the rescue, herding me towards an almost empty compartment.

 

“Holy Harpies, Albus, welcome to puberty!” He whispered in my ear, sniggering when I hid my face in my hands.

 

“Shut up.” I answered, sitting down and closing the door in relief. I still couldn't handle crowds very well.

 

“Moody as well,” Penny tsked disapprovingly, “Is this like a tall-dark and bitchy kind of thing you want to cultivate?” She pretended to consider it, “I like it, very Snape-chic.”

 

“I must say, I always considered myself to be the hot one, Penny the compelling one, and you the mysterious one, but I think I need to re-evaluate our roles.” Gabe stroked his un-bearded chin.

 

“Hey! Why can't I be the hot one?” Penny threw her potions book at him.

 

“Because you're clearly so much more than that, love!” Gabe winked.

 

“I think you're the hot one!” Someone piped up and all of us turned to look at the occupied seat, where a Slytherin second year sat, trying to look brave.

 

“Majority rules!” Penny exclaimed, pleased.

 

“Albie!” Lily threw the door open and bounced inside. “Can I sit with you? Jamie is being mean.” She perched herself on my lap before I even had the chance to answer. That's how spoiled she is.

 

“Shouldn't you sit with other first years? Maybe you can make some new friends.” I tried cajoling her.

 

“I don't know where they are and everybody already has a seat and I don't want to.” She burrows her dark haired head in my neck.

 

“Fine. You can sit here.” I said, seeing Penny and Gabes twin shocked expressions.

 

“Penny, Gabe, this is Lily.” She peeks up from where she hid her face.

 

“Hello Lily, nice to meet you!” Trust Gabe with knowing what to do in any and all social interactions.

 

“Hello.” She answered.

 

“Is it just me or does this situation smell exactly like the Hufflepuff common room?” Penny still hadn't lowered her eyebrows. “I didn't know you were such a fluffy creature Albus, this year is going to be full of surprises.”

 

“Har bloody har.” I rolled my eyes at her. Not my best comeback, I know.

 

“Albie is the best!” Lily says, her smile making her dimples come out in her freckled face.

 

“I'll bet.” Penny answered with a frankly disturbing smile. It said 'weakness detected, and will be exploited'.

 

Lily proceeded to talk insistently throughout the train ride, becoming more and more animated as the shyness receded faced with the thousands of questions (about me and my family) my so-called-friends asked her that they knew I would never answer.

 

My silent brooding was once again interrupted by the doors opening.

 

Scorpius stood silent, his mouth hanging open, in the door for a moment before clearing his throat and pronouncing, “When the train arrives, all first years should stay on the platform and wait to be collected.” He looked pointedly at Lily how nodded promptly. As soon as she did he all but slammed the door shut.

 

“Scorpius seems to have had a run in with some hormones.” Penny leered. “I approve of this growing-older thing.”

 

“It makes us all want to get into it like an especially delicious spectator sport, doesn't it?” Gabe agreed.

 

I thought about the short moment that Scorpius was standing in the doorway and couldn't really remember what he looked like, all I could think about was the fact that I was embarrassed by being seen with a small girl in my lap. Her black hair and bright blue eyes made it clear that she was my sister. I couldn't decide on why it made me feel so off-kilter.

 

Maybe because every situation between us always ended up being so fucking weird.

 

Later that night when I got my first good look at how Scorpius supposedly changed, and it made it hard for me to swallow my food. I couldn’t pin-point it exactly, except for the slight change of height, but he was just more. Longer hair, longer legs, just more of everything. It looked good, but I couldn't figure out why it made me slightly queasy. I've never been especially good at emotional stuff, all right? Maybe I was a bit of an idiot as well.

 

Lily sorted Slytherin.

 

 

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

A couple of months into our fourth year, Scorpius went into trance for the first time.

 

It was horrible. I still remember the panic and the ringing in my ears when I watched him fall off the bench at breakfast, his eyes rolling and his muscles cramping. I still remember the whispers afterwards, when people called him 'freak' and others turned away in dislike. I remember seeing Eric scooping him up in his arms, trailing after Madame Tilly towards the infirmary, and wishing that it was my arms that could protect him from the world. Wishing I could save him.

 

Scorpius Malfoy, to everyone’s complete surprise, was a Seer.

 

It was supposed to be kept a secret, but by the end of the year everyone already knew about it. What do you expect from a bunch of high-schoolers?

 

The thing with him being a Seer only made him more fascinating to me. Some people whispered about dark arts and 'suspicious magic', but suddenly, it was like all of us couldn't stop staring at him. Maybe some of them were waiting for him to go into trance again.

 

They didn't have to wait long.

 

“Albie!” Rose came running towards me and I knew immediately that something was wrong. Some of her curls were sticking to her forehead, and the rest were flying wildly like red fire behind her.

 

“What is it!?” I reached her faster than I would've ever thought I could.

 

“It's Scorpius,” My heart suddenly dropped to my stomach, “He's in trance, I have to get Madame Tilly but I left him with Hugo in the corridor on your left past the kitchens. Go to them and try to keep him from hurting himself!” She hurtled past me as soon as she stopped talking.

 

I ran as fast as I could, the whole way there I felt like some kind of icy-sickness was spreading through my veins.

 

When I saw him on the floor, convulsing, I almost cried.

 

“Albie, thank fuck! We have to hold him down!” Hugo shouted, red faced and panicky.

 

I took him into my arms, hauling his torso up so that his back was leaning against my chest, and then I pinned his arms on his chest in an odd sort of hug. Hugo grabbed his feet.

 

“Scorpius? Scorpius? Can you hear me?” I said in his ear.

 

“Two days and two nights.” He answered, chattering his teeth.

 

“What?” I answered.

 

“He will die in two days and two nights.” Suddenly, his eyes snapped open and locked with mine and he took a huge shuddering breath.

 

“Scorpius?” We both were shaking and Hugo was wiping sweat off his forehead.

 

“Albus, something bad is going to happen.” He blinked his big grey eyes as he was whispering the words.

 

“What is going to happen?” I whispered, equally subdued.

 

“Someone is going to die.” Tears was forming as he said the words. I was washed over by compassion so strong, it felt like suffocating.

 

I gathered him in my arms more firmly, and he turned his head and sobbed into my shirt.

 

I don't know how long we sat in that embrace, but I remember being startled by the arrival of Rose and Madame Tilly.

 

I totally forgot about Hugo being there, and everyone was a bit embarrassed about the whole hugging-scenario.

 

Scorpius told the others about the vision, and Madame Tilly released an audible gasp whilst Rose turned towards me as soon as the words were spoken.

 

“Albie, you need to go floo your dad.”

 

So that was exactly what I did.

 

 

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

When I was little, I was very close to my dad, the only one other than myself that could be a bit overwhelmed by the sheer size of our family gatherings. Time alone with him was very rare, but sometimes I would get out of bed late at night even though I wasn't allowed, and he would make room for me in the sofa. I got to sit with him whilst watching telly and getting my hair stroked.

 

Those times meant a lot to me. My dad is a real-life-hero kind of person and all of us looked at him like he hung the moon. Me especially.

 

The corny thing is, everyone of us would think of contacting my dad in any sort of crisis. And he would always come. But even Harry Potter can't save everyone.

 

Scorpius told him everything, all details, every nuance of his vision. The thing was, the vision didn't reveal a name or a face of the boy who was in danger.

 

The whole school was in hysterics, several students went home, dad and his Aurors were crawling all over the school looking for any sort of danger. Those two days were hectic and weird, it felt like walking around with a big lump in my stomach from beginning to end.

 

One morning in April, after exactly two days and two nights of frantic searching, a small boy named Sebastian Ray drowned in the lake.

 

No one knew how it happened, or if it could've been avoided in some way. Scorpius was devastated, and he went home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Alcohol and angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well..... this chapter turned out a bit angsty. With lots of teenage drama. Weird. 
> 
> My eternal gratitude to those who leave kudos, and to Order 66 and scaptors for commenting =)

Fifth year started out in chaos. The rumours concerning Scorpius and Sebastian had twisted into an unrecognisable fable, and Scorpius vision was retold as a curse. 

 

Scorpius himself was infinitely more subdued, and constantly picked on. He even received howlers from 'concerned parents' before McGonagall stepped in to cast an owl-repellent charm over the entirety of the Slytherin table, making some of the other Slytherins become disgruntled towards Scorpius as well.

 

Penny, Gabe and myself took to sitting with him at mealtimes, but he wouldn't really talk to us, preferring to read or study at the table instead. Rose seemed to be his only confidant and the two of them seemed to be thick as thieves, to the utter dismay of Uncle Ron. 

 

I admit to being jealous. It's far easier to do now that I know I'm a homosexual. Before, it was more like a vague inkling that I didn't like seeing them together. But neither did the rest of the school, so it wasn't a huge teller. 

 

The other rumours circulating around the school was about the unlikely pairing of Scorpius and Rose. Some people blamed it on love potions or dark magic, always blaming Scorpius of foul play. They couldn't see how someone as beautiful and clever as Rose could ever be with 'the freaky Death Eater spawn' (as they often referred to him as) Scorpius Malfoy. 

 

If they knew Rose, as the conniving know-it-all kind of girl that she was, maybe they wouldn't be as quick to refer to her as such a helpless victim. 

 

One day, I can't really remember exactly when it was, other than that it was the day before a particularly gruesome Arithmancy test, Scorpius and Rose stopped speaking to each other. 

 

“That's enough of your sulking Rose. Why don't you just go and talk to him?” 

 

“Stay out of it Al.” She glared at me.

 

“But you're being a real dementor and he's clearly miserable, so why don't you kiss and make up with your little boyfriend?” I couldn't help but snipe at her.

 

“You don't know anything about it, Al! So shut up and mind your own business!” She stormed off, looking angry as ever. 

 

“Well, well. There you are, all prickly like an angry puffskin.” Penny walked up to me, coming from the girls bathroom. “Put your jealousy on a leash babe, they're not together.” She patted me condescendingly on my head. 

 

“Why the hell not?” They felt like the perfect match, the two of them were soon-to-be Head boy and Head girl. 

 

“I don't know, but if you want I can tell you what happened to make them stop speaking to each other.” She smirked.

 

“Tell me.” I urged her, trying not to sound too desperate, but failing.

 

“Scorpius told me that he told her something about her future that she didn’t want to know, causing her to lash out and telling him that her mother said that divination is humbug.” She shrugged. “Apparently, he is a bit touchy about his third eye.”

 

“Is that what they're arguing about? Seems ridiculous.” I turned and looked down the corridor that Rose walked down, but she was gone. 

 

“Babe, there's a whole lot about human interaction that you don't understand, but luckily for you, your naiveté is sweet instead of just plain dumb.” She smirked at me.

 

“Hey! What the fuck are you implying?” I answered, frowning. The thing is, I had a bit of an anxiety regarding social interaction, and Penny and Gabe always commenting on it was actually starting to annoy me. 

 

“Sweetie,” She started, “Don't patronise me, Penny! It's fucking annoying.” I interrupted.

 

“Listen to me Albus!” She raised her voice. The first time she did that, talking to me. I know she had it in her, I'd seen her arguing with a lot of people, but she never argued with me before this. I think I stared at her in shock.

 

“Listen to me. You like him. Scorpius. You want him.” She punctuated every sentence with jabbing her finger towards me. And it should have been obvious, I know. But my jaw dropped, my heart plummeted. 

 

“You need to get your shit together, Albus, because you're pushing him away.” She crossed her arms over her chest, looking at me like I disappointed her. 

 

“Don't look at me like that, you had to have known.” She rolled her eyes. 

 

“I didn't.” I tried to swallow the excess of saliva gathered in my mouth. “I didn't know.” I repeated. 

 

But deep down, I guess I knew. I didn't think about it like that. When I wanked, I kind of just wanked. Me, Penny and Gabe didn't really talk about that kind of stuff. Occasionally, they commented somebody’s look or body. I kind of refrained from commenting. 

 

I knew girls didn't do it for me though, when I thought about it, but I only thought about it because Penny brought it up. How stupid is that? It felt very, very stupid. 

 

But when Penny and Gabe commented other people in a leering kind of way, they talked about girls and boys equally much. I never thought that it would matter, but thinking about it I realised that them talking about both never shocked me or made me uncomfortable. It felt normal. They made me feel normal without me realising it. 

 

“And Gabe?” When I looked at her she was looking at me with pity. 

 

“Obviously bisexual. He had a major crush on you for so long.” She laughed, but stopped shortly. 

 

“You?” I asked her.

 

“Hetero. I guess.” She shrugged. 

 

“You guess?” I asked again.

 

“Well, no one knows for sure, do they?” She tried to look comforting, but failed spectacularly. 

 

“I guess not.” I shrugged. Still humiliated. She awkwardly patted me on the back. 

 

“Should we go to lunch?” She asked, trying to diffuse the tension. 

 

“I think I need a moment.” I answered.

 

“Okey, see you later then.” She walked away in a hurry, trying to get away as fast as I wanted her to go. 

 

Our friendship didn't really include heart-to-hearts. It mostly focused on humorous banter and study-sessions. I dragged my hand through my hair both ashamed and agitated. And of course, this was the state he found me in. 

 

He had to awkwardly shuffle aside so that we wouldn't collide in one of the few places in Hogwarts that wasn't wide to fit an elephant or Hagrid and his beard. 

 

“Sorry.” I practically growled at him.

 

His face turned towards mine, pink with indignation. And he opened his mouth to argue. 

 

“I said sorry!” I scraped my feet at the floor, which produced this shrill sound that made me blush even harder. 

 

“Stop saying you're sorry!” He actually 'stomped' his foot at this, “I'm just trying to pass you, for Merlin’s sake.” 

 

I grabbed his shoulders and lifted him past me, and released him as soon as I realised what I had done. Touched him. I touched him. My hands were still warm from the contact. 

 

“Get your fucking hands off me, Albus! I swear to Morgana I will sock you in your smug fucking face.” And that was a second first, him swearing at me. I hadn't even heard him swear at all before this. It made me hot. 

 

“Hey, calm down. I didn't mean anything by it!” I raised my hands in clear surrender. 

 

“Well that's your fucking problem isn't it?” He looked like he was thinking about fighting me. “You never 'mean' anything to happen, and yet they do!” He exaggerated the 'mean' to ridicule me, and somehow, I couldn't seem to feel angry about it. Still just shocked. And not especially threatened either, it's hard to feel threatened by something blond, bubbly and slim. 

 

“Rose always harps about you 'not meaning anything by it', 'having good intentions'.” He took a deep breath, “You want to know what I think you are?! I think your full of shit, that's what. Prancing around school, thinking you own the fucking castle.” He actually stepped forward when he said it, like it was going to force me to step back. It didn't.

 

“You don't know me.” I said, tightly wound, but not yet angry.

 

“I know enough to call you out as you are! As a stuck up, immature, and boring person, who doesn't take responsibility for his mistakes and thinks everyone is worth less than you are.” His eyes held a manic glint in them, “I've seen you on those fucking dates, haven’t I? You don't even talk to them, sitting there staring at the wall like you are BORED!” He closed the distance between us even more. “Like anything they have to say isn't even worth your time! You don't even know the names of the people in our year, you fucking conceited wanker!” He whispered the last bit as if he was ashamed of saying the word. It was adorable. 

 

“I'm just a bit socially impaired, or at least, that's what Penny and Gabe calls it.” I answered. The thing is, he was right. I didn't know the name of all the people in our year. But it wasn't because I thought I was better than them, or that they didn’t interest me enough. It was the simple fact of being scared shitless of saying the wrong thing. Doing the wrong thing. I wished I was different. More capable. Braver. 

 

“You are an arsehole who gets away with being an arsehole.” He said decisively. And then he walked away. It kind of felt like getting the air in your lungs forcibly removed. 

 

The silent treatment lasted seemingly forever. Seeing him in the Great Hall made me sick to my stomach. I altered between wanting to prove him wrong, believing that I was the biggest arsehole in the world, and being genuinely scared of running in to him in the hallways. Penny looked at me like I was crazy, Gabe was trying to cheer me up by buying me sweets and listening me talk about Arithmancy, which he normally had no interest in. 

 

Rose and Scorpius made up. 

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Where did you even get that?” I asked Penny, looking doubtfully at the bottle of Firewhiskey that she waved in my face with gleeful excitement. 

 

“My mothers friend, he told me that I should make some new friends. I'm not really interested in making new friends, though. Not when I have you two idiots.” 

 

“And we love you, Penny, you and that alcohol of yours.” Gabe took the bottle from her hand and proceeded to unscrew it. 

 

He took a big sip and passed it to me. I had tasted alcohol before, but there was something about this night that made me feel reckless, something about drinking my problems away that sounded appealing in a way it never had before. 

 

“Don't hog the bottle, Gloomy bear.” Penny yanked it away from me before I swallowed, and it made me spit and choke, to their great amusement. 

 

“Next time I'll spit it all over you Penny.” I said when I had regained my breath. 

 

“Threats will get you everywhere.” She passed the bottle back to me, somewhat contrite. 

 

“Hey!” Gabe waved his hands impatiently, “Give me a sip!” 

 

“I have a better idea.” Penny smirked like the devil himself. “Why don't you take a shot from Albus's clavicle? He needs to lighten up.” 

 

“I'm game if you are.” Gabe's eyes darkened.

 

The thought of it made me flush, and it did scare me, but the Firewhiskey made me braver, and I felt myself nodding before consciously deciding to. 

 

Gabe flushed as well, obviously not expecting a yes. 

 

Penny poured some over my neck and Gabe moved in quickly to lick it off, starting at the base of my neck and proceeding almost all the way to my ear. It made me shiver all over. 

 

“Fuck that's hot.” Penny's cheeks were blooming red. 

 

“I'm glad you're entertained.” I answered in a deadpan voice. “Now give me the bottle.” 

 

I took a deep swallow before passing it to Gabe, who had trouble looking me in the eye. At the time, I was afraid that I had done something wrong. 

 

“Gabe? Can I take a shot off you?” Penny asked, with something akin to pity in her eyes. 

 

“Bring it.” He answered. And we spent our evening getting more and more plastered. 

 

“So, Penny, truth or dare?” Gabe were lying with his head in my lap while Penny sipped at the whiskey. 

 

“Dare.” The thing with Slytherin's is, they will always choose dare. 

 

“Go out there and kiss the first person you see.” We were sitting in a utility closet in Slytherin house. We found it our fourth year, naming it the “clubhouse” and immediately relocating all our meetings to the small room that smelled faintly of cleaning detergent. 

 

“Lame.” She rolled her eyes but dutifully got up and walked out of the door to complete the dare.

 

Gabe looked at me. “Truth or dare?” He whispered.

 

“It's not your turn.” I blinked slowly, feeling the affects of the whiskey. 

 

“Just answer the question Al.” He sighed.

 

“Dare.” I answered, slowly moving my hand through his short brown hair. It was thick and soft. The move made his eyes flutter.

 

“Kiss me.” His Adam's apple bobbed, and he shut his eyes. 

 

I dragged my hand through his hair again before answering. “I'm not sure it's a good idea.” 

 

“I'm not going to read more into it.” He sat up. “It's just a kiss.” 

 

“I never kissed anyone before.” I wasn't even embarrassed about it.

 

“No problem, I can show you how to do it.” He smiled, but it didn't look like a genuine smile. 

 

I nodded. 

 

He moved slowly, cupping my jaw in his hand, looking at my lips once before shutting his eyes. I kept mine open. 

 

His mouth stopped right before connecting to mine. Our breathing speeding up, and his hand moved to settle at the back of my neck. 

 

His lips were soft. He made a tiny lick at my bottom lip before I opened my mouth to let his tongue in. It was warm and wet. I shivered as his tongue twisted against mine. Gabe grabbed my hair in his hands and pulled a bit, which made me let out an involuntary whine.

 

The door was yanked open, and I pulled away from the kiss immediately. 

 

“Having fun without me?” Penny smirked. And beside her, Scorpius stood slack-jawed.

 

“We are playing truth or dare.” Gabe smiled charmingly. “You want to join us, Scorpius?” 

 

He closed and opened his mouth a couple of times before he answered. “It reeks of alcohol in here.” He scowled, “I should report you.” 

 

“Don't be such a prissy wanker Scorpius, now sit down and have some whiskey.” Penny pushed him inside the closet, and he almost landed on top of me, but managed to grab hold of a shelf in the last second. I was disappointed.

 

“Sit down.” Gabe grabbed hold of his robe and tugged at it to get him to sit between me and Penny, who already settled in.

 

“This is such a bad idea.” He looked at the whiskey with distaste. 

 

“Live a little.” Penny waggled the bottle in front of him before he sighed deeply and took it from her. He took a cautious sip. 

 

I watched as his neck strained. I felt myself starting to sweat.

 

“So, Scorpius. Truth or dare?” Penny tried to look innocent, but only succeeding in looking even more malicious. 

 

“Truth.” He looked defiantly at Penny, who broke into an even bigger shark-like smile. 

 

“Are you and Rose more than friends?” She asked, and he visibly relaxed, he'd obviously expected her to ask about something else. 

 

“No. Of course not.” He snorted like it had been a ridiculous question. 

 

“It's your turn.” She took another drink from the bottle. 

 

“Turnabout is fair play. Truth or dare?” He asked Penny. 

 

“Dare.” 

 

“How about you take a shot from Gabe's navel?” She turned to look at Gabe who shrugged, and raised his shirt to expose his midriff. 

 

She sipped from his navel and blew a raspberry on his stomach as a parting gift, making him giggle. 

 

“Albus, truth or dare?” Penny said, and I didn't think about the repercussions before I answered, “Dare.” 

 

I realised my mistake at once. Scorpius looked at me as if I murdered his family. 

 

“Kiss Scorpius. And not the innocent virgin kind of kiss. Snog him.” Penny looked so pleased with herself I wanted to punch her in the face. 

 

I turned towards Scorpius, nervous as hell but also kind of hopeful. 

 

He sat and stared me in the eyes before saying, “I'm out.” And stood up swiftly to walk out of the closet, slamming the door. 

 

And then he spent the rest of the term refusing to speak to Penny as well.


	4. Hippies and punks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm sorry again for not updating until now! But I finally have internet in my flat, which means that next chapter will be up a lot sooner. Thank you Order 66 and camichats for commenting =)

In the summer between fifth and sixth year I made some progress with my social anxiety. First of all, having been avoided by Scorpius for all most a year made me feel like it couldn't get any worse. Which, in a weird way, made it better. 

 

I didn't have to feel worried about what might happen, because it had already happened, and my life continued as before without any major differences. I started to let loose a bit more, especially with Gabe. My friendship with him changed for the better after our kiss. We were more comfortable with each other, which resulted in a deeper connection and more physical demonstrations 

 

I actually started feeling comfortable with myself as well. I knew I wouldn't ever be the most social of people, or the funniest, or the most charming. But I had good friends. A nice family (except for James). 

 

Me, Penny and Gabe started to play instruments. Actually, I already played some drums, but this was the first time I did something serious with it. Penny played the bass and Gabe played guitar and sang. It sounded ghastly, for the most part. But it was fun. 

 

“You have to actually hit the notes, not just stand there and look like you want to fuck the mic stand you wannabe.” Penny said to Gabe, pointing at him with her bass as if she was challenging him with a sword. 

 

“You both suck, let's keep playing.” I smiled at Penny to diffuse the murderous look she was giving me. Not surprisingly, it didn't work.

 

“A monkey could do your job Al.” She said.

 

“A monkey with a very good sense of rhythm.” I smirked.

 

“Well, you’re certainly an animal.” Gabe gave me an appraising once-over.

 

“Stop enabling him, Gabe.” Penny's scowling got deeper.

 

“That's not the only thing I want to do for him.” Gabe smiled.

 

“Let's get you guys to finish this stupid song before we try something else.” I couldn't help but blush, a bit pleased and only a little embarrassed.

 

We played for hours, drank beer and constantly had a good time. That summer was the best summer I ever had. 

 

And when we walked through the crowd on the platform of 9 ¾, we felt like such rebels. In our black clothes, skinny jeans and combat boots, we felt like rockers. When I look back at it now, we were such dorks. The compartment that we commandeered on the train smelled like dust, leather and home. It felt like a relief to get out of the house, compared to a shared dorm, our home actually managed to feel crowded. 

 

It also helped that I could be with my friends instead of having to babysit all the cousins. 

 

But it didn't take long before the doors were pushed open. 

 

“Albie!” Lily threw herself at me like we didn't just come from our home, where we both lived. I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, I thought that I was getting a break from family.

 

“What do you want?” I lifted an eyebrow towards Penny who already started playing with Lily's hair. 

 

“Maybe I want to hang out with my brother, is that a crime?” Lily answered, looking at me with her best puppy-eyes.

 

“I know you better than that.” I refused to be swayed.

 

“Apparently, you do.” Both her eyebrows rose, and she eyed me in reluctant respect.

 

“Out with it.” I sighed. 

 

“Don't take that tone with me Albus Severus, I wont allow it.” She straightened her posture.

 

“SEVERUS??!!” Penny yelled, “HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT?” She abruptly let go of Lily's hair and stalked around the compartment. 

 

“The years of teasing that you have robbed me of.” She pointed her finger at me menacingly, “This will not be forgotten lightly.” 

 

“The crowd demands punishment!” Gabe exclaimed.

 

Lily looked at me with a smug expression. She reminded me never to aggravate her. James was much more physical in his warfare, but Lily was decidedly more dangerous. 

 

“Yes! I think punishment will be in order.” Penny nodded with enthusiasm, “But it will require careful planning.” 

 

“I'm here to ask you a favour, Albie.” Lily stated, folding her legs. 

 

“I'm not sure I'm feeling very favourable at the moment.” I stared challengingly at her. I learned very early that if you show your belly, she'll be merciless. 

 

“Listen to the proposition before you show your hand.” Gabe reprimanded. 

 

Lily turned approving eyes at him, “I'm glad he has strong allies.” And she momentarily infused the small compartment with a grave seriousness, reminding us all of the current threat against muggleborns in general, and our family in particular. Dark Wizards was surfacing in France, not yet reaching us in full scale, but very obviously on the move. Dad looked constantly stressed, which made us all worried.

 

“Of course.” Penny waved her hand like she wanted to disperse the tension.

 

“Albie.” Lily had successfully reminded me of my strong protecting urge I had towards my family, and her in particular. She didn't pull any stops this time. 

 

“Yes.” I nodded to show her that I understood the stakes. 

 

“Dad told me to look after Scorpius, apparently, he can see stuff about the 'dans l'obscurité', but he's really unstable.” We all unconsciously leaned closer together. “Dad asked me because he knows that you two don't always get along.” She managed to convey more than 'don't always get along' with her look though. 

 

“But this feels like to much of a responsibility for me, I'm not even in your year. I think that you guys would be better at it.” She looked pleadingly at us. Being the youngest, Lily wasn't very good at being responsible. “I don't want to let him down.” Nobody could stomach letting dad down. 

 

“I understand Lils.” I sighed. “I'll take care of it.”

 

“We all will.” Penny added. 

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Scorpius sure knew how to make an entrance. He showed up late to the feast not wearing his uniform. He had skinny jeans, plastered on like a second skin, a black t-shirt with a very deep plunging neckline, and a robe/kimono kind of thing in an embroidered white see-through fabric. His hair was tousled and longer than ever, his ears pierced with an assortment of different earrings in both ears and he was barefoot. 

 

I flushed with such an intense longing I was shocked by my own reaction. I wanted to hide the blush and duck my head, but I was totally unable to look away. He slumped down, not at all quietly, with a couple of people between us. I still couldn't look away. 

 

“You’re drooling.” Penny whispered in my ear. I immediately wiped my shin, but found that I wasn't actually drooling. I turned to fixate my best scowl on her, but she wasn't contrite at all, more like amused. . 

 

“Wow. Scorpius sure scruffs-down well.” Gabe let out an appreciating whistle. Scorpius glared at him. “I would definitely let him get aggressive with me.”

 

Penny snorted, “You'll let anyone get aggressive with you.” 

 

“Stop it.” I couldn't help but say. It just blurted out, like a fucking love confession. They looked at me with an equal amount of amusement and exasperation. 

 

Thankfully, they didn't comment on it. Thank Merlin for small favours. I saw Lily get up and change places. She squeezed down between Scorpius and Oliver, a guy from Scorpius dorm who looked extremely pleased about her sitting there. Which made me kind of vexed. 

 

Scorpius seemed surprised and quickly narrowed his eyes in suspicion. She leaned towards his ear and started whispering to him. My chest flared with jealousy.

 

He cracked a small smile at something she whispered. Pained, I looked away. 

 

“Mr Malfoy.” Our head of house, Professor Swindleweed cleared his throat pointedly. “Although I'm pleased that you finally arrived, you are not in proper attire.” Scorpius tilted his head up in a nonchalant way, looking bored. I kept remembering the little know-it-all swot that he used to be. This was something new. “If you would be so kind as to accompany me to my office.” Scorpius got up slowly, and everyone stared as he followed the Professor out of the Great Hall. 

 

The sight refused to leave me for some time. The lazy shift of his hips, the pompous tilt of his shin. It kind of did it for me. Of course, I liked the bookworm side of Scorpius as well. I liked Scorpius, period. A startling amount.

 

–-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When autumn arrived, the darkened sky brought a darkened state of political affairs. The lines in our Professors faces tightened. The sombreness that settled in the Hall every time the owls delivered the newspapers was like a thick suffocating blanket. 

 

Scorpius surly mood disturbed almost all our lessons, and his Prefect badge got revoked, or more accurately, he threw it with all his might at the head table one day, obviously having foreseen them taking it from him. I wanted to hug him, but I knew that would be an inadvisable course of action. He would probably AK me.

 

Penny could get him to settle down somewhat. And surprisingly so could Lily. He chose to sit beside Eric at all times, probably because of the hatred towards Purebloods, and especially those with a family who had been on Voldemorts side in the war. The tensions were running high, and aggressive alterations became more and more common between Pure blood fanatics, such as 'dans l'obscurité', and other people who wanted to strike back against oppression, but often struck against innocents such as Scorpius and Eric. I think Scorpius wanted to protect him. But how a twink like him could protect a half giant like Eric was up to anyone's guess. But one look at the suspicious glare Scorpius sent towards anyone who came near Eric, you would think it was he who was built like the castle itself, and not the other way around.

 

I wanted to laugh, but it was so sweet it just made me want him more. Penny teased me mercilessly of course. I was pathetically transparent I guess. To everyone except for Scorpius, who still glared at me like I was the scum of the earth whenever we crossed paths, which wasn't often. I remembered what Lily told me about me looking after him, but it was hard, he kept disappearing between classes, and sometimes he didn't even show up for those. 

 

On the weekends, he walked around looking like a beautiful, sexy hippie. It was torture. Absolutely wonderful wank-bank material, but also torture. 

 

I wasn't the only one to think so either. A couple of different guys started following him around, buying him stuff and carrying his bags, but calling him a slut behind his back. It made me furious. Why did he give them any of his precious time when they only wanted one thing? Everyone left as soon as he gave them what they wanted. 

 

I wanted to show him that I would treat him so much better, but then I realised I had already treated him worse. I wanted to make up for it. I wanted to be able to worship the ground he walked on, like he deserved. 

 

And because of my inability to handle conflict, I was pining away in silence. I also wanked. A lot.

 

It was during one of those wank-sessions that something happened that turned all this around. The drapes around my bed were tightly shut and I was thinking about how delicious Scorpius looked in his new tight light blue jeans. As luck would have it, my hands were under the duvet, so nothing important was hanging out when it happened. Eric opened the drapes with a yank, after trying to communicate with me for a long time without any answer (I must have soundproofed the drapes instead of casting my usual Muffilato), and he looked so serious that I immediately yanked my hand out from beneath the covers to hold my open hands in a position of surrender. Don't judge me, Eric is a very intimidating person. Not in the league of Lily or Rose, but close enough to make me very defensive.

 

Eric's face was flushed, and he sat down at the same time that I sat up, rendering us face to face, as I've never been before due to Eric's gigantic stature. This made me instantly realise the seriousness of the situation. 

 

“Albus, I need your help.” Eric lowered his eyes in obvious discomfort.

 

“What happened?” My heart thudded hard in my chest. My thoughts went towards Scorpius at once. 

 

“I need you to go and get him.” He looked up and met my eyes imploringly.

 

“Where?” He didn't even have to tell me who it was, I guess my obsession was more obvious than I realised. 

 

“He's in muggle London, somewhere in SOHO.” I was already buttoning my trousers, grabbing my wand from beneath the pillow. 

 

“I'll go.” I shoved my feet into my shoes. 

 

I grabbed the invisibility cloak and ran out of the castle, which took a good fifteen minuets because of the sheer size of Hogwarts, ran all the way down to the gates and out before I finally (FINALLY) could Apparate. My cousin Fred taught me, and of course this was done illegally at the time, but the possible consequences wasn't spared a second thought. 

 

Popping up in an alleyway that James brought me to many times by side-along, I did a quick Point-me with my wand, and swayed and swerved to keep from colliding with several drunk muggles whilst I was hurrying beneath the cloak down the streets of London. 

 

I stopped to check the direction at least three more times before I managed to find a gay bar in an alleyway which made my wand thrum in a distinct “arrived at your destination” kind of way. 

 

I always did hear my wand communicate with me. Which, of course, made me feel a bit loony. But at this time I was only grateful.

 

I ducked into a dark corner and took my cloak off, stowing it safely in my endless bag that my aunt Hermione spelled for me. 

 

I tried unsuccessfully to straighten my rumpled clothing and ran my hand through my hair a few times, before I hesitantly stepped towards the throng of people outside the club. The bear of a doorman waved at me to step forwards at once. He eyed me appreciatively before opening the door for me. 

 

The music that hit me was overly loud and the place was almost completely dark, with neon glow-in-the-dark colours painted on the walls in numerous motifs. I was immediately struck by the fact that it was going to be difficult to find him. The dance floor was packed with people, and I couldn’t distinguish any recognisable feature of anyone because of the darkness. 

 

I stumbled towards the bathrooms to take out my wand in private. When I closed the door to a stall, I tried the point-me spell again, but my wand only thrummed in the same vague “arrived at your destination” way it had before. I felt a bit discouraged and tried to think of a way to locate him. I was thinking that should have brought Rose. She would've known what to do, she always does. 

 

But then, I got lucky. Or more specifically, someone else thought they did. 

 

“You are so sexy, doll. Just like an angel with that white hair of yours.” Someone kicked in the door to a neighbouring stall, and by the sounds of it, was making out. 

 

“Shut up and fuck me.” I heard someone answer, and dread pooled in my stomach when I recognised the voice of my obsession. 

 

“Oh no. You don't get to tell me what to do.” Someone chuckled, “Just be sweet for me and keep your mouth closed, unless you want me to close it for you.” 

 

“HEY!” I bellowed, having stepped out of my stall without remembering having made a decision to do so. A guy with tattooed forearms and a way too much slick in his hair turned around sharply in answer to my awkward shouting.

 

“We are a bit busy at the moment boy. You can wait for your turn if you like, but do so quietly.” He frowned at me. I looked past him where Scorpius stood slumped against the wall, obviously very drunk, and possibly high. 

 

“Get away from him.” I growled, noticing the mirrors beginning to shake at the force of my magic trying to assist me. 

 

“What the fuck!?” The man stared frightfully at the mirror that suddenly cracked violently. I always had a problem with accidental magic. My kindergarten teachers were “highly concerned” about it, but my dad tried to reassure me that it was ok, even though I noticed that I sometimes scared other people. Which made me a bit reluctant towards social interaction. But this time, I relished it. 

 

“GET AWAY FROM HIM!” I screamed, and the man scrambled to run out of the bathroom as quickly as he could, even though he was twice my size. I remember thinking that I would be in so much trouble, and disregarding the thought instantly, when I saw Scorpius eyes shoot open at my screaming. His pupils were abnormally large and bloodshot. 

 

“Albus?” His voice was small and slower than normal. 

 

“Scorpius, we need to go.” I said, not really knowing how to explain myself when I finally found him.

 

“What are you doing here?” He blinked slowly, “Does this mean that you're gay?” His eyes became, if possible, even larger. 

 

“I'm here to take you home.” I said, reaching out for him slowly, as if to not frighten him. 

 

“I can go home with you.” He smiled, slowly. And I was momentarily struck dumb by the sheer beauty of it. 

 

“That's... good. I mean, great.” I said, flushing, opening my hand towards him, but still not touching him. “Come along then.” I added.

 

He took my hand in his and looked at it reverently. I stood in shock as he raised it to his face slowly, looking me in the eyes, before putting two of my fingers in his mouth and sucking slowly. He let out a sharp moan that almost made me come in my pants, and this happened so fast that I hadn't even realised I was hard. 

 

“No!” I exclaimed, struck by a hard wave of guilt, I took my fingers out of his (glorious) mouth and returned it to hang limply by my side, “No. I'm... I'm supposed to bring you home.” I stuttered. His head tilted curiously. 

 

“And I said yes.” He said it slowly, as if I was the one drunk out of my mind and not him. 

 

I flushed even redder in realisation of what he meant. “No, you misunderstand me. Eric sent me to get you.” He slumped against the wall again, a frown marring the perfecting of his face, or adding to it, I couldn't decide. 

 

“Go back to school, Albus, and tell him to stop worrying.” He wouldn't meet my eyes. And in desperation I grabbed his biceps to get him to look at me again. 

 

“If you think I'm going to leave you here high as a fucking snitch, you are gravely mistaken.” I lowered my voice, the proximity of him making me a bit disoriented. 

 

He raised his eyes to meet mine again. 

 

“I don't need a fucking babysitter Potter, and I came to get laid, which you rudely interrupted.” He closed his hands to form fists, “So, kindly fuck off.” He turned his head away in anger.

 

At first, I felt very angry as well, and then I remembered that I told myself that if I ever got the chance to speak to him again I would try my hardest to be much nicer than I'd been in our previous encounters. I took a deep breath, praying for patience. 

 

“He was a jerk.” I said, stroking my thumbs on his shoulders in which I hoped would be a placating way. 

 

“So are you.” He answered, still looking at the grimy stall wall. 

 

“I know” I took another breath, “but please come anyway.” 

 

He turned his eyes towards mine again, and once they locked, he searched for something in them which he must have found, because he sighed and nodded in a deflated kind of way.

 

He tried to walk but he kept stumbling, so I put my arm around him, pulling him flush against me and took the majority of his weight so that I half carried him out of the club. He couldn't get his legs to work properly. I was genuinely worried. He rested his head against my shoulder as I dragged us to a dark corner and draped the cloak over us.  
“Brace yourself.” I told him. He nodded. I Apparated us both to James’s flat, at least it was in London and not the Scottish highlands. 

 

“Mother of Merlin!” Scorpius exclaimed, before promptly vomiting on the hardwood floor. I vanished the mess whilst Scorpius took big gulping breaths, trying to regain some form of balance, but failing. He sat down on his knees. 

 

“It makes the prophesies stop for a while. The drugs dulls the senses.” He was rubbing his face tiredly.

 

“I didn't know.” I said. 

 

“Why would you've known?” He whispered, looking up from the floor with a deeply sad expression. 

 

“I want to know.” I said, equally quiet. He laughed once, sharply. 

 

“You really don't.” He said, crawling over to me, putting his hands on my thighs, “What you want is to fuck me.” His hands felt like fire, and I started to sweat. 

 

“You're drunk.” I said, putting my hands on his to stop him from rubbing my thighs.

 

“Come on, Potter. Everyone loves slutty Malfoy. Isn't that what I deserve? A nice hard pounding?” He put his face directly in front of my cock and inhaled deeply. My knees almost gave away. I put my hands under his armpits and hauled him up into a standing position. 

 

“You need to go to bed.” I tried to sound stern, but ended up sounding pleading. 

 

“Oh yes please. Take me to bed.” He smirked at me. 

 

“Stop it.” I said, and he raised an eyebrow challengingly, “Make me.”

 

My magic thought it was a great idea and started to form around us like warm gushes of wind. Scorpius tilted his head back and moaned loudly. 

 

“Your magic feels incredible.” His nipples peaked visibly underneath his tight tshirt. 

 

“It likes you.” I answered, mouth watering at the sight of him and sounding like an idiot. 

 

He smiled at me. Pleased. And I couldn't help but smile back. 

 

His hands went to his pants, which he started to unzip before my brain jump started again, in shock. 

 

“You really need to sleep, Scorpius.” I closed my eyes (reluctantly), “I'll show you the bedroom.” And then I turned around and walked towards James's bedroom, hoping he would follow but not daring to look behind me. 

 

I opened the door for him and stepped back, so that he could move past me. And when he did, my mouth dropped open in shock and I suddenly forgot how to breathe. He was wonderfully, gloriously naked. 

 

And the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen in my life. Miles and miles of creamy, soft looking skin. Long legs, a small but delectable arse. Slim but with slightly broadened shoulders. Pink nipples, a decently sized, lovely curved, pink dripping cock. His forearm was tattooed with the Malfoy crest in a light grey colour. 

 

And he knew exactly what he looked like, he was standing in front of the bed with a small smirk, watching me watch him. 

 

So of course, I panicked.

 

“Good night Scorpius.” I said, with a note of obvious distress, and closed the door. He didn't answer. 

 

–-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I got up at seven, after not getting any sleep and wanking exactly three and a half times. I stopped before the conclusion of the fourth after realising that it wouldn't make my boner go away. 

 

I found some hangover potion in James's bathroom and filled a glass of water before hesitantly opening the door of the hellishly impossible desire called Scorpius Malfoy.

 

He was sleeping like a baby, the bastard. 

 

I left the potion and the glass on the bedside table and proceeded to cook breakfast. James was on a vacation with his newest girlfriend and I knew he wouldn't be home for at least four days. All of the family had access to his flat. One of those downsides of being a Potter/Weasley I guess. 

 

I was still frying the bacon when I heard the shuffle of Scorpius's feet. 

 

“Good morning.” I said, turning around to offer him a seat by pulling it out from the table.

 

He looked absolutely shell-shocked.

 

“ALBUS?” He let out a shrill shout. 

 

“Yes?” The chair was tauntingly empty. What exactly had I expected? For us to be friends?

 

“What the hell happened yesterday?!” He crossed his arms over his chest as if to hide himself from me. 

 

“Nothing. Eric was worried about you, so I took you to my brothers flat.” His eyes were round like saucers.

 

“I slept on the couch.” I felt the need to clarify.

 

“How the hell did you find me?!” He still looked shocked, but he slumped down in the offered chair, which felt like progress. 

 

“Magic.” I couldn't help but tease him a little. 

 

“Why was I naked this morning if nothing happened?” He narrowed his eyes at me. 

 

“You undressed. What was I supposed to do?” I started to get a bit annoyed at his implications. 

 

“I WHAT?!” He exclaimed, blushing a stark red. “Just kill me now.” He said from beneath his hands that were shielding his face. “I'm mortified. Humiliated beyond belief.” He said, more to himself than to me. 

 

“Stop that. You know exactly how good you look. Hell, if I looked like that, I would walk around naked all the time.” I couldn't help but try to comfort him. 

 

He cracked a small smile. 

 

“You're kinder than I've given you credit for.” He said, his eyes fixed on the tabletop. 

 

“Nothing kind about telling the truth.” I answered. “Would you like some breakfast?” 

 

“I does smell rather good.” He stroked the table with the tip of his finger. 

 

“Well, I am a Weasley on my mothers side, you know.” I served him a plate of eggs and bacon, with fried tomatoes, mushrooms and toast. 

 

“Thank you.” He said, and I had a feeling that he was talking about more than breakfast. 

 

“Anytime.” I answered, and meant it. Hoped for it.


	5. Being brave is for Slytherin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry again for being slow. It's coming along though, and I'm really excited for the next few chapters. More plot and more smut coming your way! Thank you for leaving kudos, they really keep me going! Thank you Order66 and camichats for commenting, it means the world to me!

After that, he actually said hello to me when we past each other in the hallways. It was a small victory, but one I cherished. Sometimes he even sat at our table in the library whilst we studied, but he never said anything. 

 

I was happy about the fact that he was around. But he wouldn't look at me. I tried to catch his eye a couple of times, but I was never successful and to much of a coward to try anything bigger. 

 

Sometimes Rose came and sat by us as well. She and Scorpius had drifted apart somewhat, but they were still cordial with each other. Rose would get this disappointed look whenever they spoke though, which in turn aggravated him. She didn't approve of his lifestyle. Neither did I, but I tried not to judge him due to the fact that I had no idea what the Seer thing made him go through. 

 

One day, Rose ran into the library, which in it self was deeply disturbing because of her normally being the most decorous person I know of. 

 

“Scorpius!” She flung herself into his arms and promptly started to cry.

 

“What's wrong?!” Scorpius looked so concerned that I, for a second, actually doubted his previous statement about them not being an item. That was my jealousy rearing it's ugly head again. 

 

“It's Hugo!” She sobbed, beside herself with worry. My stomach filled with lead. First, because of the fact that I didn't even think Rose was capable of crying, and that it must mean that something very bad had happened. And second, because of the fact that the threats made against our families was very much serious, which meant that Lily could be next. And that thought made ice spread through my heart. 

 

“I can try.” He closed his eyes, but some tears slipped out anyway. 

 

“Thank you.” She sobbed, burying her face in his neck once, before getting to her feet again and holding out her hand for him to take. He took it without hesitation. 

 

“Try what?” I couldn't help but ask. 

 

“I'm going to try to induce.” Scorpius swallowed, obviously uncomfortable by the mere thought of forcing his sight. 

 

“I heard that it's dangerous.” I stood up as well.

 

“Albus! Hugo is in danger!” Rose looked at me as if she was going to rip my head off. And of course I cared about Hugo, but I also cared about Scorpius, and this was happening very fast. 

 

“It's fine. I want to try.” Scorpius looked me in the eyes. 

 

“I'll come with you.” I answered.

 

–----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“To bring forth my subconscious to the surface of what my mind can comprehend, I need to actively create an unnatural environment of sense deprivation. This will make my sight want to compensate for the unbalanced state of the rest of my senses. The recommended way of doing this is by a complete lack of sonorous stimuli, or the opposite, a long continued sound that hits higher or lower registers than what the human ear can pick up, as well as several tones that we can hear.” Scorpius was fluttering around the room, clearly nervous, and explaining to Rose about the procedure.

 

“The problem with inducing is, it can be too mentally straining to force your sight into a state of overcompensating. This can lead to unconsciousness and the worst scenario would entail a comatose state.” He blew out all the candles in his dorm, making it pitch black. 

 

“How can we avoid it?” Rose asked.

 

“Someone needs to ground me, so that if I fall too far in, they will have to pull me out.” He sat down in the middle of the floor. 

 

“The best bet would be Albus, seeing as he did it once before. His magic is familiar.” Scorpius didn't look at me when he said it, but I could see that it was a question and that the request was made uncertainly. As if I could ever say no to him. 

 

“Of course, whatever you need.” I sat down hesitantly. 

 

“Rose, could you get me something that Hugo has a deep connection with? Preferably an inanimate object?” She ran out of the room at once. 

 

“If you would be so kind as to place yourself behind me. Close to my back but not touching.” He scooted forwards a bit to make room for me behind him, in between a bed and the door. 

 

“What shall I do?” I asked him quietly.

 

“If I drop down onto the floor, or if I start convulsing, or rolling my eyes, you need to grab hold of me and concentrate your magic to enter me.” His voice in the darkness made it sound very intimate. But mostly, I was scared. 

 

“What if I can't?” He reached for my hand and twined our fingers together before giving me a reassuring squeeze, “You can. I know it.” 

 

“Are you sure about this?” I whispered.

 

“No. But what other choice do we have?” He answered.

 

Rose yanking the door open made us both startle.

 

“I got it!” She gave a scuffed old potions-kit to Scorpius, and he immediately put it in his lap, cradling it in his hands. 

 

“Thank you, Rose. Could you wait outside please?” He closed his eyes and Rose hurried out of the room. 

 

My heart was beating as fast as a snitches wings. 

 

“I need you to be really, really quiet.” Scorpius whispered. And then he made a bell ring, and took out his wand to cast a spell to make it ring in the same tone indefinitely. Or, I assume that's what he did, I didn't recognise the spell myself.

 

The bell rang in the darkness for quite a while. My mind was going a mile a minute as I tried to match my breathing with his so that I wouldn't disturb his concentration. My magic was slowly seeping out, I couldn't help but let it infuse the room. It often started leaking when I was emotional. I only hoped it wouldn't disturb him.

 

Suddenly, the silence was disturbed by him inhaling deeply. 

 

“Fire by the water.....” Scorpius whispered, “It's reflection is licking the waves.” 

 

I sat very still, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. 

 

“He is....” Scorpius made another sharp inhale, “fiery on the skin and in his mind.” 

 

That does sound like Hugo, a pyromaniac if I ever saw one, but I couldn't understand anything that Scorpius was seeing. 

 

“Another step and he will be” And Scorpius breathing became laboured. I was a bit uncertain about whether or not I should try to wake him, but then he fell down onto the floor, and my magic was surging before I even knew what was happening. 

 

I cradled him to my chest as the dormitory door was yanked open. 

 

“Mr Potter, Mr Malfoy!” Professor Swindleweed stood in the doorway, “What are you doing?!” 

 

Scorpius thankfully woke up with a gasp. 

 

“I did see him!” He scrambled up onto his feet, swaying a bit as he moved towards the shocked Professor, “Take me to the headmaster at once!” 

 

I also stood up, hurrying to catch up with Scorpius who went right past the Professor on his way out of the dungeons. 

 

Swindleweed was spluttering, “Young man! Do you know the dangers of inducing?!” 

 

“I had to do it.” Scorpius answered. 

 

Rose had somehow joined us on our way to the Headmasters office, but I didn't notice her before she asked shakily; “What did you see?” 

 

“He's alive.” Scorpius said, and for a couple of seconds I thought Rose would cry again. But she drew a sharp breath and continued, “Floo your father Albus.” The one time she didn't use my stupid nickname, and it only made me sad. 

 

Swindleweed said the password, and the gargoyle let us in. 

 

McGonagall was a very intimidating woman. A single glance from her could leave you shaking in your robes, and her mouth firmly pinched in agitation made all three of us speechless for a short moment. 

 

“Headmaster, I can explain everything-” Rose started. “I'm fully aware of the situation, Ms Granger– Weasley.” McGonagall interrupted her at once. 

 

“Can I just Floo my dad?” I said, very conscious of the gravity of the situation. Hugo was in danger and I didn't feel like wasting time by getting a scolding that could wait for later.

 

“No need, he is on his way.” McGonagall said. 

 

“Scorpius!” The flames turned green before Draco Malfoy stepped out of the giant fireplace. Scorpius straightened his back instantly before answering with a shocked; “Father!” 

 

Mr Malfoy almost ran over to Scorpius, scooping him into his arms as soon as he was in reach. After embracing his son for a few seconds, he turned to the rest of the room.

 

“Who had the gall to suggest to my son that it would be a good idea to induce?” He managed to convey a very convincing death threat with his eyes only, shielding his son behind him. 

 

“Mr Malfoy-” McGonagall started, before she was interrupted by the Floo once more, this time with my father stumbling out of it, in direct contrast to Mr Malfoy's gliding graceful steps. 

 

“Potter!” Mr Malfoy shrieked, “Have you any idea of what these kids of yours tried? If you ever let them near my son again, I will destroy you, Head Auror or not!”

 

“Mr Malfoy!” McGonagall said again, lacing her steely tone with a discreet Sonorous.

 

“It was my idea, Father.” Scorpius looked up at Mr Malfoy, who searched his eyes for a tense moment before something profoundly sad entered Mr Malfoy's expression.

 

“Why would you take such a dangerous risk?” He almost whispered.

 

“I wanted to help.” Scorpius tilted his chin up, defiantly.

 

“But you could have died.” Mr Malfoy stroked his sons hair, and Scorpius started to cry softly. I chanced a glance at Rose, who looked absolutely stricken. 

 

“I had no choice. And I saw him, Father.” Scorpius was pulling himself together, wiping his face with his hand.

 

“What you did was very brave, Scorpius.” My dad took a cautious step towards the blonds, where the senior Malfoy was still shielding his son from the rest of the room. “And I understand that you wanted to help. But you should have contacted someone, a parent or a teacher, before even thinking of trying something this dangerous.” He tried to sound stern and helpful at the same time. 

 

“That's the biggest load of hypocrisy I have ever heard, Potter, and I was indoctrinated in fascism, so that's saying something.” Mr Malfoy sneered before turning to his son again, “But he is right, and if you ever pull something like this again, I will ground you for life.” 

 

“I'm very sorry for worrying you, Father.” Scorpius said, “But I need to inform Mr Potter of what I saw.” 

 

“Very well.” Mr Malfoy took a step to the side, no longer standing in front of his son, but still very close.

 

“He's alive. I think that he managed to set the place that he was held in on fire.” He looked imploringly at my dad, “I didn't get much. The building was near water, I think it was a river, but I'm not sure. It smelled like burnt rubber for a while, and the building was painted in blue, green or grey.” He inhaled deeply before continuing, “And I think he's unconscious.” At this, Rose let out a sharp gasp. 

 

“You've been very helpful, Scorpius.” My dad laid his hand on Scorpius shoulder, “But you need to remember that you are not responsible for anything that happens to anyone else. I know that you want to help, but it's impossible to expect yourself to save people, especially at your age. The people that kidnapped Hugo, they are the only ones who can be held responsible for anything that happens to him.” Dad smiled at him, “Thank you for your immense bravery, but please don't put yourself at risk like this again.” 

 

Scorpius blushed and nodded. 

 

“Rose, would you like to come to the ministry with me?” My dad asked. 

 

“No thank you. I think I'll stay here.” Rose answered, entwining my hand with hers. 

 

“Ron will contact you as soon as we hear anything.” He said to her, before giving me a brief kiss on the forehead and nodding at McGonagall, “Headmaster.” He smiled.

 

“Head Auror.” She smiled back at him before he rushed in to the Floo, back to the Ministry.

 

“We will talk about this again, Cory” Mr Malfoy tried to sound stern, but the effect was ruined by him stroking Scorpius hair gently.

 

“Yes Father.” Scorpius pulled his dad into a brief hug before Mr Malfoy left with a brief nod to McGonagall, shocking us both by saying 'Minnerva' and her answering 'Draco'. 

 

We proceeded to get the scolding that I first feared, but the Headmaster didn't deduct any points, and finished by turning her attention to Rose. “I hope they find Mr Granger- Weasley soon. You and I both know that there is a strong possibility of him getting out of this situation by his own ingenuity. If you would like a Calming Draught, Madame Tilly is happy to give you one.” 

 

“No thank you.” Rose answered shakily.

 

Coming out from the Headmasters office, all our cousins that was currently at Hogwarts was waiting outside. Lily took charge at once, no surprise there.

 

“Rose!” She flung herself in the arms of the redhead, “We came as soon as we heard.” 

 

Scorpius was trying to get away inconspicuously, but Rose broke the embrace with my sister and stopped him with a hand on his arm. 

 

“Please forgive me, Scorpius. I would never have asked if I knew exactly how dangerous it was.” She blushed.

 

“Shut up. It was my decision, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.” Scorpius smiled at her.

 

“You are the best friend a girl could ever have.” She tucks her head in the junction between his chin and his collarbone and my heart stutters helplessly, “I know.” He smirks benevolently. She lets out a small chuckle that's distinctly wet, but no one comments on it. 

 

–-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

We sat and drank tea in the kitchens with the cousins and Scorpius for what felt like hours before being informed that Hugo had been found. 

 

We all went with Rose to St Mungo's to see him, and was informed that he was a bit worse for wear, but would be fine after some potions and sleep. He had managed to get himself out of the warehouse were he was held, after setting it on fire and sustaining some minor burns. The Aurors found him close by, unconscious, still inside the warehouse wards. Because of what Scorpius told them, they managed to concentrate the search in such a way that saved considerable time. Even uncle Ron thanked him profusely by hugging him way too tightly and crying a bit. Scorpius was included in the family thoroughly, Molly even knitted him a sweater for his birthday which was a bit too big on him (he used it all the time though). 

 

Everyone seemed to think that he and Rose would end up together. But by now, I kind of understood that he was firmly and irrevocably gay. Like me I guess, but it would be easier to know if I had ever been keen on anyone other than Scorpius, which I hadn't. 

 

I decided to give him a birthday present (because I obviously liked to torture myself), and spent a great deal of time and money on a necklace. A long silver chain which held a pendent with a Vera Cruz Amethyst that was supposed to be popular with Seers. I spent hours and hours layering it with protecting spells and making it in to a one way portkey, connected with my wand. If he ever needed help, I could get to him as long as he carried it on his person. 

 

I wrapped it up in a small box and got a school owl to deliver it on the morning of his birthday. He opened it after Eric cast a curse-detection spell on it. Inside was a note that said “Please wear me”. He unfolded the note, read it, and then looked straight at me. I choked on my coffee and splattered Gabe's plate with spit, trying to keep the coffee from coming out of my nose. 

 

I didn't see what he did with the necklace, too preoccupied with trying not to die of humiliation.


	6. Ultimatums and temper tantrums

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this fic just never ends. I'm still writing this chapter, but I figured it would be better to update now and split this chapter in two. I hope you had a great Christmas/New Years! Thanks to everyone that's still reading this, leaving kudos and especially to camichats, Order66, plucie and IamNotCapableOfInventingACleverUsername for commenting! It really keeps me going. 
> 
>  
> 
> .....and sorry for the upcoming angst.

When I finally got to see what he did with the necklace, I wished I hadn't. The memory of it is scorched to my corneas forever. 

 

I was sneaking in to the prefects bath (because what else would you use an invisibility cloak for, and how come these luxurious baths was not available for everyone?), it was a Thursday night, quite late, so that I wouldn't run in to any actual prefects. But I did. 

 

Tom Ellis, a Ravenclaw, had forgotten to lock the door. Or maybe it was Scorpius who forgot. Scorpius, who at the time was fucking himself slowly on Tom's cock. 

 

Tom seemed overwhelmed, not really doing anything but holding on to Scorpius straining thighs (and who could blame him, really?), and Scorpius seemed to be somewhere else, with his eyes tightly shut and his head thrown back in ecstasy. His blonde hair was glinting in the dim lights, his skin glistened with sweat and a low whine was spilling out from his lips. 

 

I was standing frozen in the doorway, my head was echoing emptiness because of all of the blood in my body suddenly deciding to plummet towards my (cock) toes.

 

I watched him lower himself twice, rolling his hips like a fucking wet dream, before I noticed that he was sucking and biting the Amethyst that I gave him, which in turn made my cock twitch violently before my brain restarted and I managed to get out of the room and stop staring like a creep. 

 

He was so beautiful, like you wouldn't even believe. Perfect even. And it broke my heart that I didn't have a chance with him. After the situation with Hugo, he and Rose was once again best friends, and he stopped sitting with us in the library, stopped speaking to me, stopped noticing me. I stumbled towards my dorm, a high piercing sound in my ears the entire way. When I closed the drapes around my bed I wept. I tried my best to draw huge sobbing gulps of air into what felt like my collapsed lungs, but I only managed to make myself cry harder. 

 

That night was the first time I actually cried because of him, or not because of him (he was perfect), but because of the fact that I didn't have a chance with him. 

 

Obtainable, delicious, funny, sweet. And not mine. 

 

It was the first time it felt inevitable. I had been harbouring this ridiculous grain of hope that he would change his mind about me. But what had I accomplished in the last few years? Nothing. We were not friends, and he never even acknowledged my existence. I realised that I needed to give up, and it broke something inside of me. 

 

I cried that night, but the morning after, I felt a bit relieved. I needed to stop pining and to move on. The world was burning once again, and these childish obsessions of mine was only getting in the way of me doing what I was supposed to do, concentrate on being a better wizard so that I could help my dad in the fight against evil. I knew James was already thinking about enlisting. He was of age.

 

I also knew that my dad didn't want him to. But how could we not help? It was expected of us. And I knew how powerful I was. How people sometimes looked at me, like they were expecting me to explode in some way, a future Dark lord in the making. Me sorting Slytherin made the rumours worse of course. 

 

How could I not help? I was Harry Potters son. I even looked like him, In almost all ways except that I was bulkier, taller, because of him being malnourished as a child.

 

But I wasn't as brave, as strong. I was a coward, but I knew I couldn't let that stop me. I wanted to help.

 

So without telling my family, I applied to the Defence against the Dark Arts preparation camp. It was started in order to prepare witches and wizards for combat with Dark wizards, and afterwards you could enlist if you wanted to. Get sent to France, right into battle. The thought of it scared the shit out of me. 

 

The rest of the term went by in a blur. I was more subdued due to the fact that I was mentally preparing myself to go to war. It was only a couple of weeks left after I made my decision, and they were over much faster than I wanted them to be. I was going to miss Hogwarts. I knew that my parents were going to be so disappointed at me for not finishing, but my dad never did his last year either. 

 

I made use of the library for most of my free time, reading up on spells and potions that could aid me in a combat situation. Rose got this look in her eyes whenever she would find me in there, like she knew and disapproved of what I was doing, but that she would keep my secret anyway. 

 

Penny kept sniping at me, because she knew that I was keeping secrets from her, and Gabe kept trying to diffuse the situation, but towards the end of the term they got too busy preparing for exams so they eventually left me alone. 

 

On the train home, the tension in the compartment was so thick you could cut it with a knife. 

 

“This martyr slash grieving persona that you’re trying out does not become you.” 

 

“I didn't know you were a PR consultant, Penny” I answered.

 

“My parents are leaving for Italy in about two weeks, and I thought-” Gabe was trying to smooth down the latent hostility before it became something else, but Penny interrupted him,“You actually thought that you could hide this from us?” Her voice broke and she took a deep breath to collect herself, “You thought that we wouldn't know? I have never been as angry at you as I am right now, Albus SEVERUS Potter.” 

 

“Penny.” Gabe put a hand on her shoulder, probably to keep her from physically attacking me. 

 

“NO! I will not calm down!” She actually raised her voice. “You are a fucking twat, Albus, and if you go to France without me I'm going to make you puke slugs for the rest of your life!” 

 

“It's only Defence against the Dark Arts preparation camp-” I tried, but she interrupted me, “And what were you planning on doing after that? Come back to Hogwarts? Do NOT LIE to me!” 

 

“I am planning to enlist, but if my dad gets wind of it, he will put a stop to it before-” But Penny interrupted me again, “That's not all he should do, you idiot. You are a fucking child Albus, how do you expect to be of help when you can't even take care of yourself?!” 

 

“I'm no more of a child than you are!” 

 

“Apparently you are! I'm not the one who runs away from home to join a war out of some misguided sense of responsibility!” 

 

The compartment was filled with silence apart from Penny's panting, as she tried again to pull herself together. After a couple of seconds that felt like hours, Gabe piped up, “How about this? We will all go to preparation camp, and then back to Hogwarts for our final year.” 

 

“I don't want you to come-” But Gabe had something steely in his eyes that I'd never seen before, “Let me finish!” He drew a steadying breath, “You have no choice in the matter.” 

 

“If and only if, they manage to get on the Island, we will join in on the fighting.” He looked at me threateningly, “But before that, we will leave the fighting to people that are more qualified than three seventeen-year-olds, and I promise you, that there are plenty who are.” 

 

“There weren't before.” I interjected.

 

“Well, your father has seen to it that it won't be like that this time, hasn't he?” Gabe said snappishly. 

 

“He's not omnipotent.” 

 

“Neither are you.” Penny interjected.

 

“Deal or no deal?” Gabe tried to get us to smile by quoting this muggle show that we watched all last summer. 

 

“Fine you wankers, we'll do it your way.” I had no choice, Penny would've chased me to the ends of the earth if I ever broke a promise to her. 

 

“As if you had any say in the matter.” She smirked victoriously.

 

“That sums up the entirety of our friendship, doesn't it?” I smiled at her. 

 

“I love you too.” She answered. 

 

–----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Oh Albie!” My mum blinked away her tear filled eyes when she saw me. Lily was standing beside her, rolling her eyes when I caught her gaze with a questioning quirk of my eyebrow. 

 

Mum grabbed my arm with a grip an owl would've been jealous of, “You're coming home with us right now young man!” 

 

“Where else would I go?” I said, and judging by her facial expression that was an absolutely catastrophic thing to say. 

 

“Why don't you tell me? Or do you just not tell your own parents anything any more? Are we supposed to guess what's going on in your life? Or are you going off to war hoping to avoid talking to us to the point where you'll DIE before having to tell us anything?!” People all around us were staring as my mum dragged me towards the Muggle car by the death-grip of her hand on my wrist. I was flushed a mortifying shade of purple. I hate being stared at.

 

I turned to look for help from my dad (who knew exactly how much I hated it, because he did as well) but he was staring resolutely straight ahead. And that's when it hit me. He was angry and disappointed and my chest suddenly felt way too tight. 

 

But my darling sister tried to come to the rescue. “Give him a break. Isn't this exactly what dad would've done?”. She said, which apparently was as devastating as my first comment, because my dad whirled around with fire in his eyes that was super intense and in direct opposite to the volume of voice he used, “I didn't chose anything. And don't ever compare what we were forced to go through with this stupidity of youthful revolt.” He whispered, keeping his eyes on me even though he was answering Lily. 

 

Lily visibly swallowed and kept her head down for the rest of the torturous ride home. I felt like I was going to throw up for the entirety of the journey, but I didn't.

 

What followed was a tense dinner with the family, even James came home for it, and they all berated me for signing up for preparation camp. Everyone except for Lily, who just sat quietly beside me throughout it, holding my shaking hand in hers. 

 

Afterwards I went up to bed, waiting for everyone to go to sleep so that I could talk privately to my dad, hoping for forgiveness. I wanted to do something to make the giant lump in my throat disappear. 

 

When I finally heard the closing doors of my siblings bedrooms, I crept out of my room, heading towards my fathers study, in which he usually sat when things were bad. 

 

But the door was closed, and I could hear him talking to my mother inside. 

 

“You told me to give him space and I did!” I heard my mother say, “And where did that leave us? He just kept pulling away from us, and now I feel like I don't even know him any more. My shy, awkward little boy would never volunteer to fight in a war, Harry, not if he is the same, or even anything like the person he was before Hogwarts.” She continued.

 

“Maybe we should have pried more. That doesn't mean that he's a different person all of a sudden.” Dad answered. 

 

“But what if they were right? What if he can't handle his magic any more? What if he's seduced by the power it gives him?” Her voice trembled as my heart shattered. Is this what my own mother thinks of me? That I'm something to be feared?

 

“Never imply such things ever again. I don't want to hear it.” My father answered, and his voice broke as well.

 

“I don't care if you want to hear it or not! You can't hide from the responsibilities we have towards him, he's our son!” She raised her voice and my dad hushed her.

 

“If there's anyone in here who has forgotten that he's our son, Ginny, it's not me.” I never heard him so angry in my life, but I was feeling the tears build up, and I didn't want them to realise that I heard them so I fled silently towards my bedroom. It took me under 7 minutes to pack a bag, and 2 more minutes to sneak down to the floo, trying to leave unnoticed. 

 

When I knocked on Gabe's bedroom door he looked as shocked as I felt, but gathered me in his arms with no questions asked. The next day, we called Penny who also moved in, and I wrote a letter to my parents telling them where I was going to stay for a couple of weeks. Mum sent me a howler in response, and it went on and on about them being worried, me not asking permission and how I was supposed to come back home immediately, a request which I ignored.

 

It took them flooing three times without being let in, writing four more letters that was ignored and dad sending his “very disappointed” Patronus (the last one made me cry, and Penny miraculously refrained from teasing me about it), before Lily was sent over. Lily was always my parents greatest weapon against me, and they wielded it sparingly, afraid it would lose effect.

 

“I can't believe you left me there alone.” Was the first thing out of her mouth as she stood, as angry as a newly potted Mandrake (and every bit as deadly), in the hall of Gabe's parents house. And she looked at me accusingly until guilt washed over me, just like she knew it would. 

 

“I had no choice.” I answered, not daring to look her in the eye. 

 

“You always have a choice.” She promptly made her way into the sitting room, splayed in the sofa and demanded: “Tea?” 

 

Gabe hurried towards the kitchen, happy about having an out. The coward.

 

“Why are you here?” I asked.

 

“Don't ask stupid questions, it's a waste of time.” She answered. 

 

“I'm not coming home.” Yes, I know I sounded like a petulant child and I felt like one as well, when I said it, but no matter how embarrassed I was about all this drama, I couldn't go home. The mere thought of it made a lump form in my throat, made it hard to breathe.

 

“What happened?” Lily narrowed her eyes, looking at me with suspicion. 

 

“Mum told dad that she's afraid of what I've become.” I couldn't help the frown that formed as I uttered the words that played repeatedly in my mind since I left home.

 

“Is this one of those times when you're paraphrasing something that she actually said to make it sound more like something that will reinforce your low self-esteem?” She gave me a small grin to counteract the harshness of her words.

 

“I wish.” I snorted, and was surprised by the bitter edge that unintentionally coloured the words. “She thinks I'm being seduced by the power of my magic.”

 

“Oh Albie.” She looked at me pityingly, “She's worried about you.” 

 

“She's scared of me.” And the answering silence meant that Lily agreed, at least to some extent. 

 

“I'm not going to force you to come back with me.” She said, and stood up before Gabe even had time to serve the tea, “And I'll tell them that you will come home after preparation camp. They can never argue with the logic of being prepared.” 

 

“Thank you Lils.” I gave her a hug, kind of relieved, because I knew that Lily could make them back off. She could get away with anything.

 

“You owe me big time, big brother.” Was her last words before she took the floo back home. And my relief was very short-lived, because she was dead serious about those kind of things, and I was already dreading being indebted to her.


	7. Fuck one, fuck all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a short one to mark the end of the past-tense chapters, the next one will be in a present-tense narrative and the rest of the fic will be like that as well. I hope you'll like it! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone that has been leaving kudos and thanks to camichats for commenting =D  
> (And I just realised I forgot to thank Miss_Paint for commenting on chapter 2, thanks hon and I'm so sorry for forgetting)

The following weeks went by in a blur of cheap beer and dirty clubs, as Gabes parents went abroad and left us to fend for ourselves. In some ways, it was magical. We were stewing in our adolescent angst and drinking way too much. But I also did absolutely everything I felt like, and there was no better companions than Penny and Gabe when you went out dance on a sticky, crowded dance-floor, surrounded by all the fuckable men in London. And I did fuck them. And it was dirty and quick, or drawn-out and sensual, blow jobs in public toilets and hand jobs in alleyways and snogging on the tube. All and all, it was amazing. But me being me, it was terrifyingly intimate, and for most of them, it was not. 

 

They were Muggles, and I was constantly trying to keep my magic in check, sometimes failing, due to my drunken state, but mostly I was good enough at distracting the guys that nobody seemed to notice. 

 

And I tried to tell myself that I was over him. But I kept seeing him in every blond, I kept hearing him moan in my dreams, and I tried to drink myself into some form of acceptance but I would still think about him first thing when I woke up every morning. 

 

And Gabe got himself a boyfriend. Which was nice, both for me and for him, and especially for his boyfriend because Gabe is such a fucking catch. 

 

And Penny laughed and danced and drank her weight in alcohol, and she kissed the boys and left them wanting more, and sometimes she did more than that but always without expectations. She considered herself aromantic. 

 

Gabes Muggle boyfriend was sweet. He never came home with us though, due to the fact that Gabes house was steeped with magic, and after a couple of weeks rampantly fucking, he wanted more and Gabe had to break up with him. 

 

After that, we stopped going out in favour of staying in, eating ice-cream, watching documentaries about Muggle animal life and hugging. That was the best part of the summer so far. 

 

“What kind of birthday present do you want your highness?” Penny asked me the day before my birthday. 

 

“Cake would be nice.” I said, after some deliberation.

 

“Then let us eat cake!” She exclaimed pompously and Gabe dutifully cheered. 

 

And amidst all the cheering the doorbell rang. All of us fell silent immediately and Gabe got up slowly, walking towards the door a bit uncertainly. There was a presence of a deep, pressing magic seeping through the windows. I knew it was dad before Gabe opened the door. My chest was clenching tightly, but I also felt like I had been waiting for this, hoping it would happen. And I knew he would never ever miss my birthday.

 

“Albus.” He was standing in the hall, he's a short man but always seems larger than life, cramped in the spaciousness of Gabes vestibule. A contradiction.

 

“Dad.” It came out sounding like a question although I meant it to be more of a statement. 

 

“I missed you.” He opened his hands towards me, but seemed to change his mind a second later, crossing his arms over his chest instead, unsure of how welcome his gesture would be. I almost wished that he'd just hugged me instead of letting me decide about the level of familiarity that would have been acceptable, I was too unsure about our relationship to ask for what I wanted.

 

I nodded in acceptance of what he said, but I wanted to return the sentiment. 

 

“Happy birthday. I couldn't wait until tomorrow to give you this.” He tried again, unshrinking a small ribbon-tied gift. 

 

“Thank you.” I answered, and my voice was a bit unsteady. 

 

“So. Preparation camp in two days.” He asked, probably hoping I would've changed my mind.

 

“Yeah.” I nodded again.

 

“And then you'll come home before next term starts?” And that's why he came, I guess, trying to confirm what Lily told him. 

 

“Yeah sure.” I said, but couldn't help but feel like I wouldn't be welcome. This whole situation had become so awkward. 

 

“Good.” He nodded, “So I'll guess I'll see you then.” He smiled, and turned to walk back down the driveway.

 

But then he seemed to change his mind and came back in, grabbed me and hugged me briefly, “Take care of yourself, yeah?” I was momentarily shocked about feeling the size-difference between us. I didn't realise I'd gotten so tall. It felt like he couldn't take care of me anymore, like I grew up without noticing. 

 

“You too.” I answered, swallowing once to get some of the feelings under control. 

 

“I'll see you soon.” He said, turning to walk away once more. I closed the door. 

 

“Come to mama, sweetness.” Penny joked, and I laughed more from gratitude than from the joke actually being funny. And she gathered me in her arms in an over-the-top fashion and stroked my hair a couple of times, “There, there.” 

 

“You guys are disgusting.” Gabe said, poking me in the ribs to get me to giggle.

 

“You jelly?” Penny asked, and proceeded to launch a full scale attack on him, licking and blowing raspberries on whatever skin she could find.

 

“STOP IT! YOUR'E GIVING ME AN ERECTION PENNY!” Gabe screamed. And she laughed like the evil bitch that she was, and I laughed because I never was especially kind, and Gabe kicked and screamed, but laughed as well. 

 

And I thought about the fact that I had the best friends in the whole world, and then I was embarrassed about being sappy, but fortunately, I didn't say any of this out loud, so they couldn't tease me about it.


	8. Possible Outcome Strategy Specialist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the first chapter with present-tense narrative, I hope you'll like it! It's kind of short, but I really wanted to show you what I imagine them to look like so I decided to update early. If you want them to look like what you've been imagining, don't click on the links at the end of the chapter! Thank you a thousand times for leaving kudos, and eternal gratitude to IamNotCapableOfInventingACleverUsername, Order66 and camichats for commenting =D

“WAKE UP, FLOBBERWORMS!” Day two of preparation camp and I'm already regretting it. I think I slept no more than three hours last night, even though they made sure we would be beyond exhausted by the time we were allowed to go to bed. I've never been good at sleeping in the same room as other people.

 

“I can't believe you made me do this.” Gabe hisses at me from the bunk-bed above me. 

 

“I didn't make you do anything, I seem to recall something about me asking you NOT to come.” I slug him with my pillow, and it hits him with a satisfying 'whack'. It actually works better as a weapon than a pillow, it's so hard you could do some serious damage with it.

 

“He has a point.” Penny sighs.

 

“I don't care about points, it's not the fucking House Cup, Penny! Someone needs to take the blame for getting us into this situation!” Gabe exclaims a bit too loudly. 

 

“Stop squabbling, and start getting ready!” Our group leader comes over to hover menacingly over us while we get dressed. 

 

“Keep your head down, Gabe!” Penny scowl at him. 

“This whole thing sucks.” He whispers back.

 

“Then go home!” I can't help but ask, even though I know the probability of him doing so is very slim.

 

“Fuck off.” He answers predictably.

 

We go into the dining tent, piling the food high on our trays. I ate so much yesterday but already feel famished non the less. 

 

“Listen up! My name is Captain Bromley and I'm going to be your trainer for the next week. Some of you might think that you know what to expect of this camp. You are wrong. Some of you might think that this camp is going to prepare you for what it feels like to fight for your life in a real Dark Magic situation – you are also wrong. We will try to get you as ready as possible, get you as ready as you can be, but there is nothing that will prepare you for the savagery that is Magical conflict. The duel club or the schooling means next to nothing against a foe that wields spells and curses that you've never heard of and never want to run into. I will not sugar coat it for you. We face a threat that has the power to completely change our way of life, and if you wish to survive, you will be forced to do UNSPEAKABLE things. There are no rules in war, no moral, no heroes, no honour. There is just killing or dying. We can all hope that you will be spared the brutality of going to war, but unfortunately, we can not count on it. So try your hardest to learn as much as you can, so that you will have a better chance of surviving on a later date. Soak it up like a sponge, so that one day you will have the required skills to save someone you love. If you are here in hopes of glory, go home, because there are none to be found.” The whole tent goes dead quiet. Bromley, a severe black man with an intimidating look seems satisfied by the response his speech managed to invoke. Gabe actually blushes, probably embarrassed about complaining. 

 

“I am not here to force you to do anything, I have more important things to do. You will show me and your other superiors respect, or you will go home. Is that clear?” He adds. 

 

“Yes sir.” We answer a bit out of sync and a bit hesitantly. 

 

“Good. These witches and wizards are here to help you prepare for a possible Dark Magic attack, you've already met some of them,” and a couple of trainers that we had yesterday waves to us, including my god-brother Teddy Lupin who works with dad, “and there are some that are going to be joining us later. Let's start with an old friend of mine; this is Auror Davies, expert in stealth and tracking.” 

 

“Hello youngsters.” An older man with a voice of a life-long smoker and a missing ear let's his gaze travel across the room, and I can't help but fidget as he sees me and recognition flickers in his eyes, “I'll teach you a bit about the old art of running and hiding. It may sound cowardly to some of you, but fighting a war without strategy and careful planning means losing a war. Sometimes war will require you to run, to hide, and you will do exactly that, or you will die. So pay close attention.” His brown eyes stays fixed to mine as he delivers his speech. I try not to look away. 

 

“Ah! And this latecomer is our Possible Outcome Strategy Specialist, he will be training with you, but make no mistake! He is much higher ranked than you, so you will treat him with the same respect as you allow your trainers and group leaders.” Bromley's voice booms. 

 

A collective gasp makes me break eye contact with Auror Davies. And I look up to non other than Scorpius Malfoy, dressed in all black as opposed to his usual hippie attire. He tries to look intimidating, but the burly men beside him makes him look smaller than usual. He's taller than he was when I last saw him, but he's still shorter than me and still very slender. His hair is still long, but he's put it in a bun on the top of his head. He's wearing a black wizards robe, accentuating his long legs and slender waist. He's breathtakingly gorgeous, like always. And the nonchalant stare makes my inside twist with the force of how much I still want him. 

 

“That's a Malfoy!” Someone exclaims. The skin around Scorpius eyes tighten, but otherwise he seems unperturbed, but he's not. I know he isn't. 

 

“I'm not going to stay in the same camp as some junior Death Eater!” A guy shouts, and some concurring murmurs follows his statement. 

 

“Shut the fuck up.” I say, loudly enough to be heard over the whispers. Penny smirks and Gabe face-palms. Scorpius looks at me angrily and I meet his stare defiantly. 

 

“Settle down everyone. I certainly don't look like a person who jokes around, so how come some of you thought that I wasn't being serious when I said that you were to treat him the same way as you treat your other superiors?” Bromley asks, and without raising his voice he manages to make all of the whispering die down instantly. 

 

“With all due respect sir, you can't expect us to answer to a Malfoy!?” The same guy that spoke up before seems to have a problem getting what everyone else gets. That you don't mess with Bromley. 

 

“First of all, you're not being respectful just by using the word respect, being respectful would entail that you actually listened to what I just told all of you to do. Being respectful would mean not calling someone a junior Death Eater, judging them for something they had nothing to do with, not to mention the fact that he wasn't even alive during the war which you are referring to.” Bromley was walking towards the guy with the big mouth, hands clasped behind his back. It feels like the whole room is holding it's breath, “Secondly, mouthing off to your superiors is strictly forbidden at Defence Against the Dark Arts preparation camp, which means that this is your first warning Mr Wallace, and if you accumulate two more, I will send you home crying to your mother.” 

 

Mr Wallace looks up at Bromley like he wants to argue, but he is smart enough to hold his tongue. Too bad, I would've loved it if he got himself kicked out. That would mean I didn't have to do it for him. Looking over at Penny, I can see that she knows exactly what I'm planning, and the smirk she wears means that she's all in. 

 

–-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Mr Potter, Mr Malfoy would like to see you.” A small but hard edged woman taps me on the shoulder on my way out of the dining tent.

 

“Lead the way.” I say, after she's already turned and started walking. I know that he wants to see me to berate me for sticking up for him in the dining tent, but I flush with excitement nevertheless. It's mad that I crave him this much, that getting a scolding from the little spit-fire is going to be the highlight of my summer. I'm so arse-over-tit for him it makes me pathetic. 

 

The small but unmistakably dangerous woman stepped aside at a private, smaller tent at the edge of the camp site. My skin is tingling all over and I give the woman a huge smile which she seems equally surprised and taken aback by. 

 

When I enter he looks up from writing something, a couple of tufts falling down from his bun to hang in his face, a scowl etched on his forehead. I can't help but smile wider. 

 

“Scorpius, it's so good to see you.” I inwardly wince at the moronic statement. It just slipped out. But what can I do, right? It's the truth. 

 

“'It's good to see you'? What the fuck are you doing here Albus?” His hair gets more dishevelled from him running his hands through it.

 

“Same as you I suppose.” I shrug, and it only seems to make him more irritated at me. 

 

“Oh really? You can see the future?” He gets that smug look on his face that he used to get every time he answered a question correctly in school. It makes me want to bite at his lips. 

 

“Not exactly the same then, I guess.” I smile at him and raise open hands towards him, trying to be placating, “I'm here to help.” 

 

“You're not here to prove yourself as the mighty Harry Potters son?” He scoffs at me. 

 

Whatever my answer will be, he wont believe it. So I try for humour, “The odds are that I'm more likely to embarrass him.” 

“Shut up. You know what you're capable of 'Boy Wonder'.” He makes quotation marks with his fingers and smirks teasingly. Humour seems to have been a success. 

 

“Do I get to give you a nickname now?” I smile wider. 

 

“Good gracious no, Scorpius is bad enough.” He offers me a tentative smile, but seems to catch himself before it evolves into a real one. 

 

He frowns, “I sent for you to tell you off for embarrassing me in the dining tent.” He clears his throat, “I fight my own battles, and they're never going to respect me if you get involved.” He says, but the anger he displayed when I first walked in seems to have left him.

 

“I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable. That Wallace guy is a wanker.” I take a step towards him but he immediately steps back, and my advances come to an abrupt halt. 

 

“So are you.” He smiles at me again. I didn't even know that he remembered that part of the night when he slept at my brothers apartment, but the mischievous glint in his eyes seems to indicate that he does. What else does he remember? Does he remember getting down on his knees to suck my cock? 

 

I blush furiously, and he smiles wider at having successfully discomposed me. I do love it when he turns all smug like that. I want to take another step closer but I don't want him to move away again, so I stay in front of the desk that separates us.

 

“Yes, well. I'll try to keep the masturbation to a minimum then?” I say, and go from pink to furiously red. I answered him like I would answer Penny and Gabe but as the sentence plays repeatedly in my head I can't help but feel absolutely mortified.

 

He snorts loudly, probably as surprised by hearing it as I was about saying it.

 

I want to apologise but that would make it even worse, right?

 

The silence lingers as my stomach turns nervously.

 

He clears his throat, “Actually I wanted to ask you for a favour.” 

 

Please let it be a sexual favour, please let it be a sexual favour, “Anything.” I answer truthfully, but I can't seem to look up from my shoes.

 

“I could find myself in the need of grounding. Would you be amendable to that?” His finger strokes the tabletop slowly, probably avoiding eye contact like I am. 

 

“Anytime.” I answer. 

 

“Good.” He clears his throat again, “Great. Well, I'll send for you if the situation calls for it.” It sounds like a dismissal.

 

“Sure. Good.” I force myself to look up at him, “It was good seeing you.” I blurt out like a fucking idiot, before turning around and practically fleeing from the tent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo this piece of lovable duckling is how I imagine Albus:  
> http://bookcrush.in/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/josh.jpg  
>  
> 
> And this babe is a perfect replica of what Scorpius looks like in my mind:  
> https://40.media.tumblr.com/692186055c9d502094afa96df9164e72/tumblr_nvvae6XNTO1takd4ro1_500.jpg


	9. Tracking and trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I must begin by apologising for the late update!! You've been so amazing with your kind comments and I've been a bastard who went on vacation, got really ill and then had a nasty case of writers block LOL. Don't worry though! This is not abandoned and I already know how the story is going to end so don't worry about me not finishing it. Thanks a million to Order66, camichats, Squenk and plucie for commenting! You are the best readers anyone could ever ask for =P (yes this is me sucking up to you for being soooo late). And thanks to all the nice people who leaves kudos as well!

“Listen up! Team A has a 5 minute head start, which means that you'll have 5 minutes more than you would've in a real situation, so use them wisely.” Auror Davies shouts. It's six a clock in the morning and I'm freezing my arse off in these exercise clothes. Maybe the low temperature is a good thing though, it staves off my knee-jerk reaction to seeing Scorpius in a pair of tights. He has a pair of black shiny exercise tights, Muggle most definitely because no Wizard would design something that tight, and a loose tshirt that's super thin, I can see his nipples from here. 

 

“You're staring again. Not that I can blame you, those tights are seriously tight.” Penny elbows me in the gut. 

 

“Remember our lesson! Team B will have 20 minutes to find them, and then we'll meet up back here for debrief.” Auror Davies shoots us with an annoyed glare, obviously cross with us for whispering. 

 

“GET READY!” He shouts, and then makes his wand emit a shrill high sound that's supposed to be the start signal. Team A runs like they're being chased by Voldemort himself. My heartbeat accelerates like mad, I can't help but get excited by the prospect of running after the other team. It feels like the thrill before an important Quidditch match. We wait tensely for five minutes before the second whistling sounds, Gabe shooting me a wild grin before running off like a mad man, me not far behind. 

 

The wind whips in my face, and I can feel the morning dew soaking the bottom of my sweatpants as we run through the meadow towards the tree-line where the real chase will begin. 

 

Gabe takes another direction as soon as we get to the woods. I run straight in, trying to get some distance in before I try another path, hoping to catch up with some stragglers. 

 

No more then three minutes in, I get lucky. Someone is panting way too loudly to be hidden effectively. They should have realised their limitations and hidden earlier, closer to the tree-line. They pushed too hard. I tread carefully, not wanting to give myself away, but the leaves crumbled underneath my feet anyway. Thankfully, the person is panting too loudly to hear me. He's huddled in between to giant rocks. 

 

“You're caught.” I say, taking pity at the last moment, my voice low enough not to startle him. 

 

“Fuck.” He answers and cringe. It's some blonde boy who seems to be a couple of years older than myself. 

 

I take out my wand and brand him with a temporary red mark, as we were instructed to do, and he sets off towards the meeting point, a bit disappointed from the looks of it. I set out once more to search for more people. 

 

The rest of team A seems to have been more proficient at hiding, it feels like I've been running forever and I've seen nothing. I have only five minutes left to find someone before the deadline. 

 

A glint of white-blonde hair and my excitement shoots through the roof. There he is. 

 

I slowly make my way over to him, he seems to be hiding behind a fallen log. I listen carefully for any kind of startled reaction from him, to indicate that he's heard me. Nothing. 

 

No, not nothing. He seems to be... whimpering? The adrenaline is like a cold shower, something is wrong! I forget all about stealth and throw myself behind the log at once. 

 

“Scorpius!” I gasp. He's rolling on the ground, clearly unconscious. Clearly having a vision. I panic.

 

“SCORPIUS!” I shout, and he doesn't react in the slightest. 

 

I take a couple of deep breaths, and try my hardest to remember what I did last time to get him out. My magic surges to the very surface of my being, burning a hole in my panic. I let it fill me up. 

 

I place my hands on his chest, trying to focus my magic so that it will travel down my arms to him. 

 

I manage to concentrate for a few more breaths. I can feel my magic tingling on my skin, burning in my veins. His chest starts to get warm. 

 

“AH!” He gasps, his eyes opening wide. 

 

I let out a relieved breath and that's all I have time for before I hit the ground violently. He somehow managed to flip us over, and now he's sitting on me, holding my arms down. 

 

He blinks at me a couple of times, startled.

 

“Are you okay?” I say, a bit surprised at the turn of events. 

 

“I thought I had better control over it.” He says, still holding me down. My cock starts to take an interest. I try to will it away, but it's insistent. He's not the only one who lacks control. 

 

“What happened?” I try to distract him, although I do genuinely want to know.

 

His eyes roll and he grinds down on my crotch with a breathy whimper. At first, I don't know if he's gong into a vision or not. But then he opens his eyes to stare right at me and they are swimming with such intense need I almost come in my pants.

 

“Scorpius!” Is forced out of me as he rolls his hips again, his hands still holding me down. His hair has left the bun it was tied in and falls into my face. I relish it. 

 

“Albu- What the fuck!?” Gabes voice drags me forcibly out of the situation. 

 

Scorpius gets up immediately, making me shiver from the unexpected cold that brushes me where he sat with his delicious heat just moments before. 

 

Gabe has turned his back to us. 

 

“A bit busy at the moment Gabe.” I grumble, filled with disappointment and a bit irritated. I can't help but be, all of my dreams seemed to come true but was snatched away too soon. 

 

“Thank you for the status report, Captain Obvious, but we are supposed to be at the meeting point in like two minutes. And FYI, if you didn't want to be interrupted, don't go at it in a forest filled with fifty people in the middle of a tracking exercise.” He snarks right back. Well, touché I guess.

 

Scorpius blushes, and that makes me just as horny as before. Holy Merlin, I just want to devour him. 

 

“Yes, you're right, as per usual.” I concede, and Gabe snorts.

 

“Well come on then.” He turns away again and starts walking towards the meeting point. Scorpius follows. 

 

“Hey. Are you okay?” I grab his arm to ask him again. 

 

“I'm fine.” He yanks his arm out of my grip without looking at me and resolutely keeps walking.

 

Dread fills me and crushes the tiny glimmer of hope that this could mean something to him. 

 

I realise that I forgot to mark Scorpius when we arrive at the meeting point, and Auror Davies announces that team A wins. He also reminds us of the fact that everyone that was found would probably be dead if this was a real life situation. That effectively puts a damper on team A's triumphant grins. 

 

I couldn't help but feel crushed though, being so close to him and then getting back to being ignored? Torture. Utter torture. 

 

–-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“So, what do we do about Wallace?” Gabe looks expectantly at Penny, as if I wouldn’t have come up with a plan myself. Well, in all fairness I must admit that I didn't, but still. 

 

“I may or may not have sent for a potion which is odourless and colourless, but will itch like a motherfucker when spread on clothing or sheets.” She's trying to act casual, inspecting her nails and tapping her foot on the metal bed frame, but I can see that she's super smug about it.

 

“Is there some way that they can track it back to us?” Gabe asks.

 

“No, rashes from the gear and training robes is apparently pretty common, when I was at the healers tent this morning there was like four people with the exact symptoms that Wallace would get.” She gave up the pretence of examining her nails. “I asked around and it has something to do with the sweat that you build up while training reacts badly to the fabric and your skin when the temperature outside drops.” 

 

“Remind me never to get on your bad side.” I say, suitably impressed. 

 

“Like you would even consider that.” She has a point.

 

“Are you sure you want to do this? Maybe I should do it alone.” I can't help but give them the option, in any case, Penny already planned it so I wouldn’t be able to fuck it up. 

 

“Hey! We Slytherins need to watch each others backs, we're severely outnumbered in this lion-pit.” Gabe smirks, “Besides, it's going to be fun.” 

 

“Fine. Let's do it after hand to hand combat.” Penny starts lacing her shoes.

 

I felt a bit nervous about the upcoming lesson. I don't know anything about fighting, except for rough-housing a bit with James, I've never been in a physical altercation in my life. I know Gabe and Penny feels the same, it's just one of those things we don't talk about. Never tell people your weaknesses – lesson number one when you take those first steps into Slytherin house. 

 

We shudder a bit at the cold, it's raining, but not so much so that they'll move the lesson to one of the tents. A group of shivering people our waiting in a ring around the practice mats.

 

Our instructor, Captain Collins, is standing in military rest with her hands grasped firmly behind her back. 

 

“Welcome to your first lesson in hand to hand combat. I know most of you are a bit confused as to why we teach you to fight at a Defence against the Dark Arts camp, and that's exactly why we do it. Fighting against an enemy that regards physical methods as primitive, gives you an advantage in any and all close battle scenarios. Using Muggle forms of combat is not only ensuring you that the enemy is unprepared, but that they also remain ignorant of your next course of action.” 

 

“What is the most effective form of defence?” She asks us.

 

“The unpredictable.” Scorpius answers. And that's also one of the lessons you learn early on if you sort Slytherin. 

 

“Right you are.” She beams at him, transforming her face from something very severe into something quite beautiful, “Malfoy, could you help me demonstrate some of the moves that you can use on an adversary larger than you?” She waves her hand to indicate that he should step up onto the mat. 

 

“Of course, Captain Collins.” He steps up and immediately shifts his stance to set his feet wider and bends his knees a bit. He's in those fucking tights again. Merlin have mercy.

 

“The most important step is to use your attackers strength against him or her.” She's running towards Scorpius and he balances beautifully on the carpet, not scared at all. He's gorgeous, and he looks like a viscous, slender faerie warrior when he grabs on to Captain Collins right arm that she was going to strike him with. He ducks down and puts the Captain on his back before heaving her off with the help of him pushing his bent legs up. He's still holding on to the Captains right arm when she hits the mat and he uses it by putting his foot on her chest holding her immobilised. 

 

“Thank you for the demonstration Malfoy.” Captain Collins says, she's not even winded, “Of course, I'm not expecting the rest of you to know these steps right away, Malfoy is a trained fighter. But you would all do well to study his moves, take a few pointers on how not to underestimate an enemy.” Scorpius smirks a tiny bit at that last dig towards his tormentors. 

 

It's no wonder he's feeling smug, he was magnificent of course, like always. A couple of the loudest bullies glance at each other. I hope they're scared.

 

The Captain divides us up in pairs to go practice a couple of beginner moves. It's mostly self-defence. 

 

Me and Penny tumble around on the mat a bit, I can't help but giggle. Penny's strengths is not in the physical aspect of things. 

 

She elbows me in the gut with her razor sharp bones in retaliation.

 

“FUCK OFF!” I recognise his voice and immediately look for him.

 

“I SAID, FUCK OFF!” I'm on my feet before I even notice that it happened. Penny grabs my arm, but I shake her off. 

 

Wallace is sitting on top of him, holding him down and smiling as he gets more and more flustered. My vision goes white and my ears starts ringing. 

 

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Penny shakes me as my vision starts to come back, and Wallace is on the ground a good 10 feet away from him. He's looking a bit nauseous and when he screamed, his voice was a bit shaky, “WHAT the fuck??!!” He repeats. 

 

Everyone is starting to look my way, Penny lets go of my arm to try to keep me from looking guilty but it's too late. 

 

“What kind of FREAK are you?!” Wallace stands up to shout.

 

My heart is in overdrive. I try to swallow but my throat is all clogged up. I can't breathe. 

 

“EVERYONE STAND DOWN IMMEDIATLY!” Captain Collins shouts.


	10. Physical altercations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow. My birthday was last week = oldie but goldie now lol. So I didn't get around to write much last week, but I whipped up an extra long chapter for you to enjoy (I hope =P). This is now more than 100 pages in Word which is just so unexpected. I still have a couple of more chapters planned out, so it's going to take a while longer to finish this beast. I think we are almost done, but I don't want to say an exact number of chapters though, because it always ends up being longer =P. Thanks to Order66, camichats and Squenk for commenting!
> 
> WARNING: Explicit male on male sex in this chapter. Which entails explicit descriptions of stuff and some dirty talk. If this is not your cup of tea, I'm sorry but it's only going to get more explicit/more detailed/dirtier from here on.
> 
> …......... and again, sorry for the angst. It was unexpected as always.

“I hope you're happy, we can't do the itching-potion thing now because you're involved. They would definitely suspect us. All my planning was for nothing!” Penny throws herself down on the cot dramatically.

 

“You know that I can't help it, Penny.” 

 

“Your magic is not a bodily function, Al. Just hold it in like the rest of us!” Penny scoffs.

 

“SHUT UP! Don't you see that I'm trying??! Do you really think that I want to be labelled 'The Freak' for the rest of my life??! Does it look like I want my own mother to be afraid of me??!” I have take a few breaths because I feel it vibrating under my skin. All this explosive rage is making me unstable, and I hate myself for it. 

 

“Calm down, Al. She was just trying to lighten the mood.” Gabe reaches out and lays a tentative hand on my arm. 

 

“Well, she's doing a bloody shitty job of it.” I rub my face, trying to alleviate some of the tension. 

 

“She has a name, Albus Severus.” Penny smirks. 

 

I give her a tentative smile. I'm still a bit annoyed, even though I realise that the only way we know how to handle these kinds of things, is to joke about it. 

 

“Potter! Mr Malfoy has requested your company in his tent.” The same slightly terrifying woman has managed to enter our tent without us realising. I'm equal parts impressed and scared. 

 

“Requesting your company, huh? Things are getting pretty serious between you two.” Gabe sniggers.

 

“Oh shove off you wanker.” I mutter before stepping out. A heavy feeling is settling in my stomach, I'm really not in the mood for another scolding. 

 

The mud is squelching in a disgusting way when I trudge towards Scorpius tent, and suddenly I feel angry again. Why should I stand for being shouted at all the time? It's not like I can help being so magically unstable. I have been trying to make nice, always watching my tongue, always apologising. He doesn’t even bother with manners with me, he's so determined to cling to some misconception of me without ever hearing what I have to say. 

 

I walk into the tent, letting the heavy fabric of the opening fall shut behind me. He turns around, obviously gearing for a fight. His pointy chin is clenching in determination.

 

“HAVE I EVER ASKED FOR YOUR HELP?” He screams, and I'm momentarily shocked by the sheer force of his anger, “What did I tell you about sticking up for me out there?! I don't need you to and I don't want you to.”

 

“What part of uncontrollable magical outbursts sounds voluntary to you?!” I know I should apologise and back off, but I just can't. Not this time. 

 

“What are you trying to gain from this obsession with me, huh? Are you trying to save 'The Big Bad Malfoy'? Is this some kind of charity thing you're doing to earn the love of daddy dearest??!” Scorpius is seething now, his hair is electric, crackling with magic and tension. And still, I can't back down. 

 

“I don't have an ulterior motive for caring, Scorpius! Why are you trying to convince yourself that I'm this – this heartless monster? I'm just trying to help!”

 

“I NEVER ASKED FOR YOUR HELP!” He shouts again, turning away from me to take a few deep breaths. 

 

“YOU DID! You trusted me to ground you! You asked for my magic, and now that you have it trailing after you like a fucking lost puppy, you're dissatisfied? I can't help it Scorpius!” I don't give him the space that he obviously needs and go right up to him, forcing him to turn around. 

 

“The fuck you can.” He says, and grabs my tshirt in both his hands to drag me to him, planting his lips on my mouth in a vicious claim. 

 

My brain just shuts down. I can't do anything but feel the way he moves against me. When my hands figure out that this is actually happening, I waste no more seconds before getting them on him, touching everywhere I can. His waist is almost too narrow, and my hands wander down to get a firmer grip on his arse. The perfect luscious curve of it. Dear Merlin, I can't believe this is happening. 

 

He lets out a startled moan when I squeeze it, his arms scrambling to grip my neck harder, and some part of me that's still functioning realise that he wants me to hoist him up. Fucking perfect is what he is. I can't make my hands move too far from his arse, but I grab him just underneath it, pulling him up so that he can wrap those amazing legs around me. This works much better, his mouth is closer to mine now because the height difference is gone. He's full of brilliant ideas, latching on to me like he's flying a broom in the World Cup final. 

 

He bites my mouth and I don't even care. I just kiss him harder, wetter. He moans again when I turn us around to get him against the wall. Better leverage that way. 

 

I grab him on the backside of his knees forcing his legs up to fold him in half and he whines like a wounded dog. I've never heard anything sexier in my life. I know he's flexible as fuck, I've seen him do his morning yoga, wanked to the thought of possibilities more times than I care to admit. 

 

I rub my hard cock against his hole, perfectly exposed like this, even though he still has those fucking tights on. 

 

“Just put it in me, Potter.” He opens his eyes and glares at me. Why is he angry?

 

I suck marks on his throat instead, not really sure what to answer him. I want to, of course, but I don't want him to be angry at me when we do it. His throat is exquisite, long and pale and glistening with sweat. 

 

“Put me down.” He says, shoving me a bit to get my attention. I immediately put him down, and he wobbles a bit when he tries to walk so I try to steady him with a grip on his arm. He looks at me reproachfully but doesn't shake it off.

 

He walks over to the desk and lays himself on it like a gift, his stomach resting on the table top, his shaky legs spread wide apart to show off that amazing arse. 

 

I actually have trouble breathing for a second. I try to swallow past that insistent lump that forms in my throat every time I'm near him. I don't want him to get the wrong idea so I cover him quickly to show him my eagerness. 

 

My hands travel from his arms down his torso, I spread my hands underneath his over-sized sweatshirt and he forcibly sucks in a lungful when I trail them across his stomach down either side of his straining cock. I grab the inside of his thighs letting my thumbs stroke either side of his cock, his balls. 

 

He moans loudly, canting his hips a bit to thrust his arse against my cock. “Scorpius” It just slips out, a reverent whisper in his ear, and immediately afterwards I busy my mouth by sucking on the back of his neck. I'm afraid something else will tumble out of it if left unoccupied, most certainly it would be something akin to undying devotion. I'm not sure about how welcome that would be. 

 

I slowly roll my hips to drag the length of me up and down the cleft of his spread cheeks. He pushes back into it. It could be the best thing I've ever felt in my life. 

 

“Just put it in me, Potter. Stop teasing me.” He whines. He starts to drag his thights down but they don't get very far, seeing as my hands are still gripping the inside of his thighs. He bucks and whines again. “Get on with it for fucks sake!” 

 

“Oh no. If I ever get the chance to have you, I won't rush it. I'll bite and suck on your rim until it's red and swollen, lave it with my tongue to get it dripping wet.” He gasps loudly, his hips jerk uncontrollably and my grip tightens in response. This makes him moan louder than ever. 

 

“AH. Ah... ah ah” His every breath is now a vocalization. I can't help but thrust harder against him, his desperate moans is making my arousal spike acutely. 

 

“I'll get you so loose baby, I'll make it so good. When you're ready sweetheart. When your hole is big and gaping, I'll take the tip of my cock and push it against you, just letting it catch a couple of times on the rim of your hole. To get it so used, so puffy and so sensitive baby. It will feel so good, so much.” He screams at this, thrashes on the desk, “just do it, Potter. DO IT!” 

 

I keep holding him down with the weight of me, with the grip of my hands on his thighs and he pushes his arse onto my cock, curves his spine like a cat. 

 

“And when you're shaking, when you're desperate and gagging for it, I'll give it to you so slow. I'll make you feel every inch of me going in. I'll stop to worship you several times before bottoming out. I'll kiss every inch of you before my cock is seethed deep inside – so far up inside you, I'll give you everything I have.” He stiffens, and my stomach drops with dread. Have I gone a step too far?

 

“FUCK!” He screams and the inside of his thighs trembles violently. He comes in my arms and I can't see his face. I mourn the fact that I didn't get to see his facial expressions but I'm very relieved that I didn't accidentally misread his reactions to my descriptions of what I wanted to do to him. 

 

“Fuck.” He repeats, drawing deep shaky breaths. My cock is hard and aching, but I don't want to push my luck so I just hold him whilst he trembles a bit. 

 

He grabs my hands to get them off him and I immediately release him from my grip. I stand up a bit awkwardly, still as hard as I've ever been. 

 

He turns around and there's murder in his eyes. 

 

My erection deflates like a punctured Quaffle and fear fills my heart like never before. 

 

“Get out.” His calmness freaks me the fuck out. 

 

“What did I do?” My voice shakes. What have I done?

 

“Get out, Potter.” He seems a bit hysterical, but still, his voice is even, controlled.

 

“Please, Scorpius, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” I feel my magic rising to somehow combat the thing that's making my heart beat out of my chest, but there's nothing to fight. I try desperately to force it back down but his tea mugs are starting to bang against each other and the lights are flickering threateningly. I feel like I'm going to vomit my heart out. But I'm desperate, so I ask him again, “Please tell me what I did.” 

 

A mug breaks and the porcelain shoots off in different directions. His eyes widens and I realise that I'm putting him in danger. 

 

“I'm sorry.” I tell him again before I decide that the best way to get me as far away from him as possible is to Apparate. Never mind the anti-apparition wards around the camp, I need to keep him safe. 

 

I feel myself squeeze through time and space, almost suffocatingly tight this time, before everything goes black and my mind feels almost peaceful again. 

 

–-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Oh Albus.” I've never seen my dad cry before so it takes me a while to decide whether I'm awake or dreaming. He seems real enough.

 

“Dad?” My voice is rough. I sounds unused. 

 

“Oh Albus, my boy.” He wipes away his tears with the back of his hands. 

 

“Did I splinch myself?” When the possibility of it hits me, I feel icy dread spread through my veins. 

 

“No, no... you're fine. Even though it was a pretty moronic thing to do, to force yourself through anti-apparition wards like that. Last time I checked, you haven’t even gotten your license yet.” He tries to smile, but his eyes is still brimming with tears. 

 

“What happened?” I'm steeling myself for the worst. What if I hurt him? What if he's hurt? Oh God please no. 

 

“You've been unconscious for a while, Al. A couple of days.” He takes my hand in his. 

 

I check my surroundings. St Mungo's by the looks of it. 

 

“Where did I land?” I can't for the life of me remember what place I was aiming for. 

 

“You turned up in my office, which is a miracle in itself, squeezing through Ministry wards on top of everything else.” He tries for another smile and fails again. 

 

“I had to.” I remember it now, picturing my dads face before Apparating. 

 

“Why?” His voice breaks again. 

 

“It was spilling over, the magic. I had to protect him.” I say, I don't want him to be mad at me, I can't stand it. Not now.

 

“Who?” He strokes the back of my hand with his thumb.

 

“Scorpius was in the tent with me, at the camp. Is he... Is he okay?” I'm dreading the answer but I just have to know. 

 

“I think so yes. If something had happened I think they would've informed the Aurors, right? I haven’t heard anything about Scorpius.” He tries to look reassuring.

 

I try to cling to the logic of his statement. If something had happened to him, surely dad would know about it? I can't quite convince myself though, I'm still worried. 

 

“Your mother is getting us some coffee, we were unsure of when you were going to wake up. She just stepped out, she'll be here any minute now.” And now I'm far from reassured. Haven’t I proved her point now? That I'm unstable and dangerous? She was right all along and I should be locked away.

 

“Oh thank Merlin!” My mum exclaims when she opens the door and sees me. I let my eyes fall to the floor, too embarrassed to look her in the eyes.

 

“Albie! I'm so glad you're awake!” She tugs me into a hug that I try weakly to return, “I was worried about you.” I can feel her shaking minutely, out of fear or suppressed feelings, I don't know. 

 

“I'm sorry mum. I'm sorry for everything.” I feel my own tears start to fall.

 

“Well, darling, you should be sorry for making me worry so much.” She smiles shakily and pets my hair affectionately. I break down, I never thought I would get to feel this again. When I left my home I somehow thought that I would never see her again. So stupid of me. Nevertheless I can't help but feel distinctly grateful, relieved that she looks at me with fondness and not with fear or disgust or hatred. All possibilities that I've been preparing for. 

 

“Maybe I should come home?” I ask, not sure about how welcome the suggestion is. It's been almost two months since I last saw her. 

 

“Of course, Albie. Whatever you want.” Her smile is a bit wobbly, but more convincing than dads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... oh Albus, you're such an angst-ridden heartthrob.


	11. Complications and allegations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you're still with me, because this monsterfic has a couple of chapters yet to come. You're awesome and thanks for all the support! Much love to camichats, sam_baylis, BabyCupCakes, by_the_heelofherboot and IamNotCapableOfInventingACleverUsername for commenting!

“Traitor.” 

 

“I heard you ended up in the hospital, Al. I hope you're feeling ok.” I answer her, in a voice decidedly higher than what she actually sounds like, just to annoy her.

 

“I heard that you stupidly forced yourself and your massive magic through two of the strongest anti-apparition wards in the UK, and then ended up in the hospital because of it,” Penny continues, “And while I'll readily admit to that being fucking impressive, you forgot that 1, It's extremely dangerous and 2, You left your two best friends in the mud of this godawful preparation camp cleaning up your mess.” 

 

“Well that's what friends are for isn't it?” I can hear her snort. She must have walked for forever just to get out of the forest to somewhere with cell reception, so I know that she cares.

 

“Are you..... injured?” I can hear the awkwardness of the question over the phone.

 

“No. I'm fine. A bit exhausted.” I answer, and I'm touched by her stumbling words. It must have been a trying couple of days if they can transform us into these bleeding Hufflepuffs.

 

“If you wanted to be exhausted, you could've stayed here you know.” She snorts again, but the sound is strangled.

 

“How's Gabe?” I ask.

 

“Fucking furious of course, he keeps mumbling about 'Albus and his shit ideas about going to war' in his sleep and told me to tell you that you're a bloody moron.” She's joking, Gabe sleeps like the dead, although, the moron bit is probably true.

 

“.......How is Scorpius?” The line goes dead, and for a moment I think I've lost her.

 

“He looks like shit. Even more so than the rest of us. Whatever the problem was between you two, I think he feels bad about it. He's giving me these looks as if he has accidentally killed my puppy.” She sighs.

 

“My magic went a bit haywire in his tent.” 

 

“You're an idiot. Do you really think it would've hurt him? It wouldn't have.” There's static, and that last bit almost gets lost.

 

“Would you tell him I'm sorry?” I ask.

 

“Come back here and do it yourself, you coward.” She gently admonishes me. 

 

“I'm not sure that it's a good idea.” I sigh.

 

“We had a deal. You're not getting out of it, superhuman magical feats is not in the break-clause, Al.” She sounds determined, “You're just going to wallow in the misconception of what you did or did not do to Scorpius, and the only way of handling it like an adult is talking to him about it.” 

 

I can't answer her, just the thought of it makes bile rise in my throat.

 

“Look, Al. Gabe has been taking notes for you, so that you'll catch up. Just come back and finish what we started.” She waits a few moments to see if I'll answer, but I still can't. 

 

“Scorpius isn't angry, in fact, I think he's the least angry that he's ever been.” And then she hangs up.

 

–-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“I think I should go back.” Mum and dad shares a few communicative glances, as if I'm not sitting right here. 

 

“Are you sure that's a good idea?” Dad grabs my hand. 

 

“No. But I think I should do whatever I can to be ready, you know?” He doesn't look convinced, “Besides, Penny and Gabe, they need me.” Always try the loyalty card with Gryffindors. 

 

“It didn't seem like it was a good environment for you, Albie.” My mum tries. I can't help but snort at this. 

 

“Nothing is a good environment for me.” I stare down at the hand my dad's still clutching. 

 

“They can manage without you.” He says, quietly. 

 

“I know, but I don't want them to.” I answer, truthfully. 

 

“I'll take you, I'm supposed to teach a class tomorrow. If, and only if, the Healers says that your magic levels are stable enough.” Dad rubs his hand roughly through his hair. He's stressed. 

 

“Harry, shouldn't we talk about this some more?” Mum tries a third time. 

 

“I'm a grown up now.” I say. 

 

“Yes, and speaking of grown ups, we really need to get you that apparition-license because I can't cover for you anymore, unstable magical condition is not an excuse that's applicable to illegal apparition when you're of age.” My dad sighs. I must've caused him a lot of trouble.

 

“I'm sorry.” I squeeze his hand.

 

“I'm just glad you're alright.” He smiles, “But we should do it before I take you back to camp. Just in case.”

 

“I don't approve of this.” Mum says, a frown marring her freckled forehead. 

 

“I know.” I look her in the eyes, “But I have to.” 

 

“I'm so tired of hearing that line.” She smiles though, and means it. 

 

–----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“The prodigal son returns!” Gabe exclaims before he throws himself in my arms. I give him a long hug, and I hear him breathe shakily before composing himself. 

 

“You're a right bastard you know.” He smiles but his eyes are a bit wet. 

 

“I know, and I could never deserve you.” I clap him on the back to diffuse the awkwardness.

 

“Too right.” He claps me on the back twice, and turns away to wipe his face.

 

“You two are such dorks, I don't know why I keep you around.” Penny kisses me on the cheek non the less. It's forgiven, but they are never going to forget this.

 

“I missed you pumpkin.” I take her face in my hands and fakes going in for a smooch. 

 

“Ugh! Keep those cock-sucking lips away from me!” She hits me in the stomach, much less hard than she usually does. 

 

“That's not all they've been doing.” I smirk.

 

“I know, you filthy, filthy sex-monkey.” She smirks right back, and I know I'm blushing now. Another win for Penny. I graciously decides to let her have that one. 

 

“You're right in time for lunch, and I'm hearing rumours about the famous Harry Potter teaching our next class in magical defence.” Gabe, now sufficiently calm, says with a teasing nudge to my arm, “Think you can hook me up with an autograph?” 

 

“Very funny.” I roll my eyes at his poor attempt at humour, “I hitched a ride.” 

 

“Well at least you came back, I can't believe you were even thinking about leaving us here alone.” Penny scoffs.

 

“I'm never going anywhere with you again, you've burnt all your bridges with me Mr Potter.” Gabe interjects. 

 

“Yes, yes I'm terrible and I have to grovel at your feet for forgiveness until you can find it in your gigantic hearts to look at me once more etcetera, etcetera.” I say as deadpan as I can, which is (not to brag), pretty much expressionless. And it actually earns me a full on laugh from Gabe, but Penny is a tougher nut to crack.

 

We've reached the dining tent, and my apprehension rises as I know I could be seeing him any minute now. 

 

We take our trays and find a nice secluded spot to sit, but I can't hear the banter now, much less join in. Too preoccupied by trying to be subtle whilst looking for that familiar shock of white-blond hair. 

 

“He's over there.” Penny says, turning her fork to point behind me, not even glancing away from Gabe for a second. Well that's how it goes I guess, I try to be subtle but Penny succeeds. 

 

“Albus.” Scorpius clears his throat behind me. 

 

I turn around and feel a bit shocked by how beautiful he is. How could I have forgotten?

 

“Hello?” I answer like a total idiot.

 

“I would like to have a word. In private preferably.” He stands ramrod straight but there's a slight blush to his cheeks.

 

“Yes. Of course.” I stand up before I even know where I'm going.

 

He seems a bit surprised, but schools his features quickly and nods. He turns away a bit awkwardly, and then walks determinedly towards the exit as if to make up for his few seconds of indecisive shuffling. 

 

“I trust that you are well?” He asks stiffly when we're outside. 

 

“Yes, thank you. And you are.... did you get hurt?” I ask, cringing at the semi-formality we both seem to have adopted. In crisis, stay polite, my grandmother Molly always says. 

 

“No..... No. I don't think your magic would ever hurt me.” He loses eye contact for a second and looks down a his polished shoes. Who wears polished shoes to a camp-site in a field?

 

“Well. I'm sorry for putting you through all of that.” I wave my hands feebly, trying but failing to convey whatever it was that happened between us. He looks up sharply, narrowing his eyes. 

 

“I think we misunderstand eachother. I never felt threatened by your magic. Or is it something else that you're sorry for?” 

 

“You should feel threatened by it, it was breaking your china before I removed myself from your tent!” I cant help but raise my voice a bit, and he looks worryingly around us to see if we can be overheard. He casts a quick muffilato.

 

“I do firmly believe that it wouldn't hurt me, okay?” He sighs, “I wouldn't let it, and you wouldn't let it. It wouldn't let itself.” 

 

“It's my magic! How could you possibly know what it would or would not do?!” I'm a bit agitated now.

 

“I've felt it, okay? It's been inside me.” He blushes hard at his choice of wording. 

 

“It's always inside me and I don't know what it's capable of.” I scoff.

 

“I think it was you who said it. It likes me.” He's staring at his shoes again. 

 

“That's not an insurance.” I try again, softer this time. 

 

“No matter. The fact is that you don't have to protect me from it.” He sees me trying to interrupt, “I can shield myself if it comes to that, which it won't.” 

 

“You don't know that.” I tug my hair in annoyance. 

 

“Do you know what I do know? I do know that I don't want you to ever put yourself in danger because of me.” He grabs my arm to enforce his point.

 

“I can't promise you that.” I look at his hand on my arm, how his long fingers bite into my biceps.

 

“I know. But you have to try and remember it.” We stand in silence for a couple of seconds, but it feels like hours. 

 

“I'm the one who should apologise. The way I behaved after we.... afterwards. It was unfair, and uncalled for. I am truly, very, sorry.” He whispers, “This thing between us. It's all kinds of complicated, Albus.” 

 

“Is it something you've seen?” My heart plummets. 

 

“Yes and no.” He takes a deep breath, “It's.... complicated. And I think it would be best if we try to ignore it.” 

 

“I don't know if I can.” I answer, the closest I've been to a love confession in my life, and I know it will fall on deaf ears. 

 

“We have to try.” He lets go of my arm, and disappears into the dining tent again.


	12. Games of Life and Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha it feels like I start all chapters with the “I'm sorry for the delay” disclaimer but I'm truly, very sorry for the delay. I wrote half of this chapter a long time ago but then Real Life came and punched me in the face and now we're all disappointed. She really is a fickle mistress. 
> 
> A million thanks to everyone who has been commenting and leaving kudos! You really are the most awesomesauce readers anyone could ever have. I want to give some extra love to camichats, plucie, IamNotCapableOfInventingACleverUsername, simon_sj, Jenny, Order66, Nadine, LittleJojox and ew for commenting.

“The people amongst you with muggle background may have heard about this game before.” Bromley looks at each one of us searchingly before continuing, “We're going to play a game that's called 'catch the flag', with an added twist. For you who haven’t heard of it before, let's go over the rules: I will divide you into two teams, and you will compete against each other to catch the opposite teams 'flag'. We will be in the forest, and make a clear line on the ground to separate the playing field in the middle. The two teams will have one side each. The 'flag' in this case will be a person. Imagine that person being a key player for your side in the war. This means that you must protect the flag at all costs. If you want to 'catch the flag' so to speak, you must venture into the other teams side of the playing field. If you are captured, which can only happen if you are on the other teams side of the playing field, you are disqualified. We strongly encourage you to come up with a plan of action, and to work together in this challenge. Remember what we taught you about stealth and tracking, because the playing field is a fairly large area. Although a pretty small forest, the whole of Black Forest is at your disposal. For the most part, you will not see anyone from the other team as long as you are on your own side of it.”

 

“We strongly advise you to take this challenge very seriously, as it is not just a game, but a situation very similar to actual battle. Doing well in this challenge could mean surviving a real life encounter with Dark Wizards.” He walks up and down the row of gathered people, making sure to look us all in the eyes.

 

“If you catch a person from the other team, you will mark them with the same red mark that we've used before. If you want to avoid being marked, I suggest a simple protego, and protego again, for as long as you can parry the spell. If you're lucky you can get away and try again.” Some people seem to get a bit nervous when he says this, but Bromley continues unbothered,“We will engage in this challenge for four hours. If you are in danger or hurt, please send up red sparks with your wand as we showed you before and one or several of you instructors will be with you immediately.” 

 

He walks towards us and starts to hand out blue bands to every other person, “Remember who is on your team, and do not cast the marking spell prematurely. If you accidentally mark a person of your own team, there is no way to undo it.” Some people twists the band around their wand arm, and some put it on their heads. Idiots. They should definitely wear their bands in the same spot, so that they know where to look before casting. 

 

“Can anybody tell me why the mark is impossible to undo?” Bromley asks.

 

I raise my hand.

 

“Yes Mr Potter.” Bromley's eyebrows goes up, I usually keep a low profile and never raise my hand in these situations. I imagine that some part of me wanted to impress Scorpius, but I'm not sure if he's paying attention, and I'm too embarrassed to check if he is.

 

“Because the stress of a battle could cause you to curse your allies instead of your opponents. And you wanted this to mimic a real battle situation.” I answer, much more quietly than I expected. I clear my throat, but I can feel myself blushing regardless.

 

“Correct.” Bromley booms, in a direct contrast of my own meek tone of voice, “Think before you cast.” He continues. 

 

“At the sound of my first whistle, the blue team can run into the east side of the forest, and the colourless team can run into the west side. See to it that you are on the right side of the dividing line. At my second whistle, you may begin. At my third whistle, all of you must return to this area, which means that one of the teams managed to catch the 'flag', or that your time is up. If you are disqualified, you must return to this area immediately. If you do not, we will know and fetch you, so don't even try it.” Restless and twitchy, the group starts to look around, trying to memorise their team-mates and looking to see what group their friends are in. 

 

“Ms Parkinson, Mr Wallace. Could you come up here please?” Penny looks utterly petrified for a split second, but walks up to Bromley with a practised blank look on her face. Wallace looks smug. I just want to punch him in his smug face.

 

“These two are your flags. Ms Parkinson is in the blue team, Mr Wallace in the colourless.” He gives Penny a blue band, which she twists around her wand arm. Smart. The headbands are much more noticeable.

 

“Do you have any questions?” He looks around, “No? Let's begin.” He makes his wand emit an earsplitting whistle.

 

I look around and spot Gabe, who also is in my team. Wallace and his cronies, the ones that are in our team, gathers around and sets off together. That's the flag-guard sorted I guess. 

 

“Perimeter watch?” I ask Gabe.

 

“Sure.” He answers, “As long as I don't have to play bodyguard to the arsehole, I'm happy.”

 

We run towards the tree line, where most of our team seems to be waiting. 

 

“Me and Al will take the perimeter watch, but we'll need at least eight more people to spread out along the dividing line.” Gabe takes charge, and nobody seems to object. 

 

Eight people raises their hands. 

 

“Good. The rest of you should spread out in the middle, start making plans of how to catch Penny. Some of you must remain on our side at all times, to catch the stragglers that we miss.” The rest of them, nearly twenty people, starts whispering amongst each other. 

 

“Good luck.” Gabe says and turns towards our group of ten whilst the others run deeper into the forest. 

 

“Me and Al could take the far right side of the line, we could run there now. Spread out evenly along the line, and lay low. It's better to surprise them than to face them right on.” A couple of people nod. 

 

“See you later.” A girl with auburn hair says, I think her name is Daria. I'm trying to commit their faces to memory so that I don't accidentally mark them later on.

 

“Good luck.” Gabe says again, and he looks at me for confirmation before we take off deeper into the forest. It's going to be a long run to get to the far side of the line and I hope the second whistle doesn't go off before we reach it.

 

–-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“If you miss someone, make a branch from a nearby tree fall down and I can try to catch them.” Gabe suggests right before the second whistle sounds and we have to split up.

 

“Sure.” I nod before crouching down behind a fallen tree, “You should climb one.” I say.

 

“As long as you don't break the branch I'm sitting on.” He smiles.

 

“I'm not making any promises.” I shrug, and Gabe snorts and hurries off to find a good vantage point. 

 

It takes a good ten minutes before I hear the first one arrive. Or at least, that's what I think it is, I really hope it's not an animal of some kind (Care of Magical Creatures was not my best subject). A couple of twigs break and I can hear them swear under their breath. Amateur. 

 

I try my best to be as quiet as possible as I shift slightly to the left to try to get a possible view of who it is. Wouldn't want to accidentally mark a team-mate, Gabe would kill me. 

 

A tall boy, probably younger than me, peeks out from behind a bush where he's crouching. I don't recognise him at all from our team so I mark him straight away. 

 

“Bloody hell!” He exclaims, clutching the arm where the mark shows up. 

 

“Next time, try a sound-dampening charm on your shoes.” I say, and he flips me off before trudging away dejectedly. 

 

The initial stress of the game slowly transforms into boredom. Birds are chirping in the distance, and it's all starting to feel like a normal stroll in the woods. Where is everybody? 

 

The sun breaks through the clouds for once, and I turn my face towards it. That's when I see him. My heart accelerates immediately and I can't help but smile as I think about getting to chase him down. 

 

His hair was what gave him away of course, that particular shade of pale looks really out of place in a dark forest like this. 

 

He manages to hide, but a branch swings on a near by oak tree so I'll guess that he's hiding behind the boulder. But I have to give it to him, he's really impressively quiet. I try to be as inconspicuous as possible, as I walk towards his hiding place. I try to keep my breathing quiet, but I don't think I'm entirely successful. The whole situation makes me a bit excited and my breathing is a lot closer to gasping than I would like.

 

Two steps left and he shoots out from behind the boulder, and the chase is on. I can't help but laugh, and when I do, he turns his head around and smiles at me. I feel fucking elated. He is so beautiful when he runs. Some of his hair has come undone from the bun on his head, and the strands whips wildly behind him. He's a fast runner, I'll give him that. He practically flies, avoiding roots and rocks like he never did anything else in his life. 

 

But the distance between us is rapidly increasing so I feel like I have to take out my wand. I would rather not, but Gabe would murder me if I let him get away. 

 

“Protego!” He shouts, anticipating my marking curse. He spins around so he's facing me, stopping to heave in some hulking breaths.

 

“I wondered when you would take your wand out. Felt like you were letting me get away there for a while.” He smirks. His face is blotchy, but it only adds to his appeal. As do the faint shine of sweat on his forehead, and the pink flush staining the top of his visible collarbones. Merlin have mercy. 

 

“You and I both know that I can't do that.” I smile, and I have a feeling that it's my leering one, even though I tried to contain it. “It's better if you just give up.” I can't help but tease him a bit, especially when he looks like this. So happy and carefree.

 

He laughs once, sharply and genuine, “Oh yeah? And what about me running faster and blocking your curse gives you the idea that you could ever succeed in marking me?” 

 

I try the marking-spell again, trying to catch him unawares, but he stops it with a flick of his wand and rolls his eyes at my admittedly half-arsed attempt. 

 

“See?” He smiles with his teeth this time. 

 

“Even though you blocked my attempts so far, you can't outrun a spell Scorpius. It's just going to bite you in the arse.” I cross my arms over my chest, trying to get him to relax his grip on his wand so I can mark him.

 

“You and I are going to stand here at an impasse all day if we keep this up. How about a deal?” His grip on his wand is as tight as ever. He's smart. 

 

“What could you possibly offer me? You can't convince me that you're anything other than in a disadvantage here.” As soon as I say it I realise what it sounds like, “I don't mean that you have to offer me anything... untoward or anything, I just meant that -”

 

“Don't worry about it Albus, I know my virtue is safe with you. Or it would have been if I had any.” He winks and then catches himself doing it, immediately regretting it. Maybe he thinks that I wont take him warning me off seriously. But I do. I'm just happy it's not awkward. Or, I guess it wasn't until we stared talking about his virtue. 

 

“What kind of deal are we talking about?” I say to try to get the conversation back on track. 

 

“How about I'll tell you about my teams strategy and in exchange you let me go?” His smile is a little bit stilted this time. 

 

“What difference does it make if you go free if I know your teams strategy? You're just going to be captured later on.” 

 

“Maybe I'm a key player.” We are standing much closer to each other than before. When did that happen? “My participation could be crucial to the plan.” 

 

“In that case I should just mark you.” I smirk.

 

“And miss out on valuable intel?” He lets his eyes trail the length of my body, “Or you could be the one that brings your team the information that lets you win the game.” 

 

“In contrast to what you seem to believe, I'm not all that preoccupied with getting recognition for the things that I do.” I can't let him get away with all of these opinions about who I am. If I ever get a chance to be with him, it's crucial to lay some of these misconceptions to rest. 

 

“But you could win!” 

 

“We could still win without the information you're bargaining with. And besides, how would I know if you're telling the truth?” We circle around each other, with him refusing to turn his back on me. Probably a smart thing to do. 

 

“First of all; no, you wont win without this. Wallace is as dumb as a brick house. Secondly; I could cast the 'Veritas' spell on myself.” He smiles again when he sees the obvious intrigue in my eyes. There is so much I want to know. But I can't ask him about it if he uses the spell. He's testing me. 

 

“Yeah okay. It's a deal.” I put my hand out to shake his. Our hands linger a bit too long. 

 

“Veritas,” He says, with the point of his wand pressed underneath his chin.

 

“What is your teams strategy?” I say before I get the chance to properly ponder all of the things that I would rather ask, but can't. 

 

“They sent me to distract you because you're the only one that has enough power to stop a group of more than three. So they know that you're the only one without back up, and they needed you gone to be able to cross over in a larger number. They're on your side of the playing field right now.” The slow smile that he can't help but let out is like sex. The fact that he tricked me is a heady drug. I'm equal amounts impressed and humiliated, but so turned on my arousal feels like a kick in the gut. 

 

“You little shit.” But I'm smiling when I say it. He laughs. 

 

I promised to let him go, so I take off towards Gabe immediately.

 

“Gabe! They're here!” I scream, there is no point of stealth when they're the ones who are sneaking up on you, and besides, they can't mark us on our own playing field. 

 

“ALBUS!!” Scorpius scream echoes loudly in the forest, and I know that it's probably another trick but I can't help but stop and turn around anyway. 

 

And I see him grapple with two men. I know that they're not from camp, and the blood in my veins turns to ice. I run towards them, “Expelliarmus!” I scream, but the spell bounces off some protective sphere that they must have erected. 

 

“ALBUS!” He screams again, trying to throw them off, but failing. It feels like the sound of that scream is going to haunt my dreams forever. I try to run faster and I'm so close now. 

 

I almost stumble when I'm finally at the edge of the sphere, and Scorpius looks at me in horror when they disapparate him. My knees hit the ground before I can register the fact that he's gone.

 

He's gone. They took him, he's gone.


	13. The Powerlessness of the Untouchable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! First of all, WARNING: This chapter contains a description of a panic attack, death (not of the main characters), murder (non-explicit) and some disturbing thoughts. If you're worried about reading it, send me a message and I'll answer any questions or write a summary so that you can skip it all together if you want. 
> 
> The angst continues and gets a bit worse in the following chapters. I promise you it wont last forever though. 
> 
> Thanks to plucie, edgy_moony, camichats and LittleJojox for commenting <3<3 and thanks to all of you who reads and leaves kudos. I can't even begin to describe how happy it makes me.

“ALBUS!!” 

 

It feels like I'm standing inside a clock tower, there are bells ringing inside my head, I'm almost deafened by it. 

 

“ALBUS!!” 

 

My hands are grasping something on the ground, the dirt is a bit wet between my fingers. 

 

“ALBUS!” I feel a hand on my back, at first it's hesitant, but a couple of seconds (minutes? Hours?) it's firmer. Someone is pulling on my tshirt. 

 

I blink slowly. Someone is pulling on my tshirt and screaming my name. “Scorpius?” I ask, keeping my eyes closed because there's something off about the question. Scorpius is gone?

 

“Albus! Listen to me! What happened?!” I open my eyes, but I don't want to. I have to? Do I have to?

 

It's Gabe. Gabe is looking at me. He's worried, I can tell. 

 

“What happened?” He shakes me a bit, his hands are grasping my shoulders. 

 

“What happened?” I answer him. Or is it another question?

 

“Albus, sweetheart, you have to answer me.” He shakes me a bit more. It's making me nauseous.

 

“They took Scorpius.” I answer, and the realisation of it hits me in the head like a bludger. 

 

“Who? Who took him?” He is grasping my head now, his hands are holding it steady. 

 

“I don't know.” My face is so wet all of a sudden. It's getting harder to breathe. 

 

“Albus sweetie. Don't worry, okay? It's all going to be fine. You just need to breathe with me okay?” Gabe takes a hold of my hair and pulls it a bit. That's fine. Good. The pain of it helps me breathe. 

 

“That's right. That's exactly right.” He pulls a bit harder, “Breathe with me. In and out. In,” He takes a deep breath and I try to mimic it, “and out,” I let it out slowly, trying to match his tempo. 

 

“That's good. In,” He inhales, “and out.” He lets it out slowly. 

 

“POTTER!” Someone else is screaming, and there are loud thuds on the ground. Didn't I tell them to try the sound-dampening spell? What happened?

 

“I'm right here, Albus. I'm going to stay right here. Just breathe with me.” Gabe takes a seat behind me, and puts his chest behind my back so that I can feel him breathing. He puts his hand on my chest, “Just breathe with me. In and out.” He whispers. 

 

“Potter! What happened?!” Bromley's large, square face shows up directly in front of me. 

 

“They took him. Scorpius.” I answer a bit startled. I try to clear my throat. It's clogged up. 

 

“Who took him?” Bromley sits down on the ground, and it's wet. Wet and red. What happened?

 

“I don't know. I didn't know them. No one from camp.” I answer. This is important. I need to pull myself together. It's easier to breathe now that Gabe is helping me, breathing in my ear. 

 

Bromley takes out a napkin and wipes my face. It comes away red, “Don't worry about this, Potter. It's only a nose bleed.” He says. 

 

“Albus!” My father throws himself down on his knees, cradling my face with his calloused hands. Rough like leather. 

 

“Dad.” I answer, and I can see him struggling not to cry. What happened? 

 

“There's something important. Something happened?” I ask him.

 

“Yes. Yes, there's... You seem to have caused a bit of an explosion. But no one got hurt.” He says, taking Bromley's napkin and cleaning it with wandless magic before wiping me again, “Can you remember anything from when Scorpius disappeared?” Bromley had whispered something in his ear. 

 

“Yes. It was two men. Middle-aged. Dressed in all black. I didn't see their faces.” Gabe is stroking my arm. 

 

“I -” I need to stop to take a breath, “His crystal is a reversed portkey. But I don't know if he's wearing it.” 

 

“Connected to what?” My dad asks. 

 

“To my wand.” I answer. He nods once. 

 

“Good. Give it to me, I don't want you rushing off before we have a plan of action.” He reaches out with his hand, palms up, and I give it to him even though it pains me to do so. 

 

“We both know what to do. You should put a tracking spell on me and send me in underneath the cloak.” The pressure on my chest is easing, “We know that I can push through any wards if necessary, and I'm the only one that my wand will answer to.” 

 

“I'm not sure that sending a seventeen year old is the best plan in any scenario.” Dad raises a sceptical eyebrow.

 

“It's the best way to do it.” I grab his hand, “And we haven’t got time to consider any alternatives.” 

 

“You're right.” He sighs heavily, treading a hand through his hair, “But you're not in any condition to leave right away. Your magic is exhausted.” 

 

I look around me, and the crater of fallen trees and devastation says a lot about why my magic is a bit deflated at the moment. If only it would've protected Scorpius before they disapparated him. 

 

“He's going to want his father. You should contact him.” I start to stand. Gabe helps me by discreetly propping me up with his arm around my waist. 

 

Dad turns towards someone that I don't recognize and sends him to fetch Draco Malfoy. Not an easy task. 

 

“Who needs to be informed before we can go?” I sway a bit when Gabe takes his arm away. He puts it back.

 

“It's already in motion.” Dad says, “Do you need a pepperup?” 

 

“Maybe it's for the best.” I answer, and Gabe snorts from where he's supporting me. 

 

–-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Are you sure?” Dad's eyes are intensely focused now, as they always are before missions.

 

“Yes. Irrevocably.” I give him a quick hug, “Don't worry about me. I'm going to be invisible. I'm more worried about you.” 

 

“I know what I'm doing.” He grabs my shoulders firmly, “Can you promise me to try to keep yourself out of trouble?” He looks defeated before he even hears my answer. 

 

“I'll try.” Neither of us believes it. 

 

“Look sharp!” His Head Auror voice echoes in the room, “Albus is leaving in five, all of us has to be ready to follow immediately after.” 

 

“A-team on the right, B-team on the left. C should be right behind us at all times. Whatever happens, don't leave the group. Safety in numbers.” Our instructors is standing beside the Aurors, probably in a group of their own.

 

“Don't do anything stupid.” Penny looks haunted.

 

“Penny, I -” She interrupts me, “I forgot who I'm talking to! Of course you're going to do something stupid. And reckless. Just promise me you wont die.” 

 

“I'm not going to die.” I reel her in for a hug. 

 

“If you die we're going to see to it that you end up haunting the bathrooms with Myrtle, okay? So don't even think about it.” Gabe joins the hug by stepping up behind Penny and crushing us both. 

 

“Oh yee of little faith.” I mutter into Pennys black hair, a bit comforted by the familiar smell of her. 

 

“Good luck.” Gabe thumps me on the back a few times. I think some part of him just wants to hit me. 

 

“I'll see you soon.” I say, but it sounds a bit hollow even to my own ears.

 

“Ready?” My dads grim determination is probably reflected on my own face, “Yes.”

 

“We'll be right behind you.” 

 

I close my eyes and whisper the incantation to activate the reversed portkey, concentrating hard on the crystal. I breathe in. And out. Suddenly it's like being sucked through a worm hole. The only part of me not preoccupied by violent motion sickness is relieved that it seems to be working. I couldn't be a hundred percent sure until I actually tried it, could I? I'm really hoping he's wearing it and that I'm not going to end up in his luggage or in his tent. 

 

I feel like it's slowing down so I try to brace for impact. I did cast a sound dampening spell on my shoes but if I fall on my arse it's not going to be very effective. 

 

My surroundings show up a bit abruptly, my feet landing on wooden floor. I do my best not to let the momentum of the landing shatter my balance. 

 

The urge to vomit passes, and I open my eyes slowly. I takes a second to get used to the darkness of the room. 

 

Someone is hunched over right in front of me. I try to see if there's anyone else in the room, but it's too dark. 

 

The person, it must be Scorpius, draws in a huge shuddering breath. It's starting to sound like he's sobbing. I can't just stand here.

 

“Scorpius?” I say, trying to be quiet.

 

“I had no choice.” He sobs. Trying to draw breath but obviously failing. 

 

I can't just stay hidden when he's in pain, but it's too dark to know if we're alone. I promised I wouldn't do anything rash. 

 

“Are we alone in here?” I don't know if he'll understand me, he seems so devastated. 

 

“Yes.” He forces the word through his teeth and I can't wait a second longer. I throw the cloak off me and crouch beside him, not sure if he wants my touch so I keep my hands to myself. Even though the only thing I want is to wrap my arms around him. Are we too late? Maybe I should have gone as soon as he was taken, no matter the consequences. 

 

“What happened?” I ask, as gentle as I can.

 

“I had to. I didn't have a choice.” Now that I'm closer I can see that his whole body is trembling, “He was going to kill you Al, I saw it.” My stomach swoops with unease. 

 

“What happened sweetheart?” I ask again.

 

“I killed him. I didn't have a choice.” His word triggers another bout of violent sobs. 

 

I can't help but shiver. Whatever words I choose to say, it's going to be inadequate, hollow platitudes and we both know it. I want to tell him that I love him. 

 

“It's not your fault.” I reach out to awkwardly pat him on his shoulder. I was too late to save him. 

 

“He's dead!” He says it as if he's shocked about the truth of it. Now that my eyes are more used to the dark I can see that there's a lump in the middle of the room. It must be the body. I can't muster an inch of sympathy for the dead guy. They forced Scorpius into this, and I'm never going to forgive them for it. 

 

“Cory!” The door almost flies off it's hinges and a manic looking Malfoy senior is standing in the doorway, backlit. 

 

“Father!” Scorpius catapults himself towards his dad, the relief in that one word more than evident. I feel so useless.

 

“I killed him! I had no choice!” He sobs, and Mr Malfoy envelopes him in his arms, presses him to his chest.

 

“It was the right thing to do.” Mr Malfoy kisses him on his forehead, “You had no choice, they took your choice from you.” 

 

Mr Malfoy looks up at me, “I have an emergency portkey to St Mungos with me. I'm taking him there now.” 

 

I can only nod stupidly while I stand uselessly in the corner of the room.

 

They pop out of the room without another word.

 

As I stand alone in the semi-darkness I feel a burning rage slowly building in my chest. I'm shaking with the force of it. How dare they take him from me? How dare they force him to kill another human? He was trying to protect me and all I did was tell him that it's not his fault?! 

 

I look at the doorway. My mind is made up. I grab the cloak and walk decisively towards the door. I can hear the fighting now, it sounds like it's coming from downstairs. 

 

I walk onto the landing. There they are. Dad and Teddy and a couple of other Aurors that I don't recognize. My instructors from camp. Thirty dark, faceless wizards. They're wearing glamours that distort their faces, and robes in all black. 

 

My magic is crackling beneath the surface, demanding to be let out. 

 

“EXPELLIARMUS!” I shout, and it echoes in the main hall like thunder.

 

All of their wands surge towards me and drops at my feet. There is a moment of stunned silence, before my dad hits the nearest wizard in the face. The rest of them starts to fight with their fists, and some conjures curses wandlessly. 

 

One idiot climbs the stairs to get his wand back and I raise my hand, which flings him across the room. I'm a bit surprised at the sheer force of it. 

 

I start to descend towards the fighting and it's as if a force field knocks whoever comes close to the ground. The power of it is intoxicating.

 

The brief fight ends with a couple of them disapparating, and some restrained. 

 

I want to kill them. All of them. 

 

But I don't. And not for the first time, I'm afraid of what I am.


	14. Visions of the Impossible and the Improbable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers!! I'm so glad that you're still with me! I want to send some extra love to camichats, LittleJojox and plucie for commenting. 
> 
> ….. I hope you'll like this one!

“What are you doing here, Potter?” Scorpius looks tired and frail in his hospital bed and my heart squeezes in aching sympathy. 

 

“Someone needs to vanish your sick, and I've done it before, so..... You know.” I try for humour because I know that he hates pity. 

 

“Haven’t anyone told you that it's in poor taste to joke around with someone who's traumatised?” But he smiles. 

 

“I'm sorry.” I say. And I'm sorry for a lot of things. I wish I could've spared him from killing anyone. I wish I could've been faster, stronger.

 

“Don't be. I find it oddly refreshing.” He scrapes his nails on the hospital sheets, looking down on his hand, suddenly shy. 

 

“Do you need a blanket or something?” I can't think of anything better to say. 

 

“What on earth would I do with a blanket?” He answers.

 

“Just something I've seen in muggle TV-series and stuff like that. Supposed to help with the shock.” I shrug and feel like an idiot. 

 

“Al, the beds in St Mungos are temperature adjusted. If I need warmth, the bed will provide it.” He smiles at me, and suddenly I don't feel stupid anymore. If I can get him to smile for me, I'll say a hundred stupid things. 

 

“Thank you for saving my life.” I didn't miss the fact that he killed his guard to save my life. If he says that he had a vision of the guard killing me, it probably would've happened. 

 

“I don't want to talk about it.” He swallows heavily. 

 

“Then we wont. But you should talk to someone about it.” I cringe because it sound so much like a cliché.

 

“Yes mother.” He rolls his eyes at me. 

 

And then I sit with him until he falls asleep.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It's been two weeks. Not a glance, not a single word, only silence and avoidance. Today was the last day of camp. I can only think about the fact that I wont get to see him everyday any more. He doesn't have to look at me, as long as I can see him and make sure he's safe. 

 

I don't know why he's avoiding me. Or maybe he's just very subdued and doesn't look at anyone. If he's sad, I want to try to comfort him. But every time I get close to him or try to talk to him he runs away like I'm infected with dragonpox or something. Have I done something wrong? Other than utterly fail at rescuing him of course. Both the first and the second time. 

 

…..Shit. This sucks. 

 

“Come on Al, everyone is going down to the village to hit the local boozer.” Gabe slings his bag across his shoulder, “It's our last night, we might as well enjoy it.” 

 

“Stop moping, Boy Wonder.” Penny smacks me on the head.

 

“Stop calling me that!” I try to smack her in retaliation but she evades my flailing arm effortlessly. 

 

“Stop behaving like you're two seconds away from drowning yourself in ice cream and Jane Austen movie-adaptations.” Penny says, and Gabe snorts.

 

“You're the worst.” I say. 

 

“No, you are sweetie!” Penny smirks but offers her arm for me to grab while hoisting myself up from the rickety bunk bed.

 

“When I get home I'm going to buy myself millions of pillows. Or at least four.” Gabe looks disdainfully at the hard lump of pillow that we had to live with all of these weeks. 

 

“Amen to that!” Penny smiles, and we head out of the tent for the last time. 

 

–-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Hey Albus.” I'm nursing the fifth (or was it seventh?) pint of the evening. A bit sloshed, I have to admit. 

 

“Huh?” Let's just blame that one on the alcohol.

 

A tall boy with ashy blond hair (or is it brown? Hard to tell in this lighting), laughs and looks at me like I told a really funny joke. What is happening. I look around to see if I can spot Penny or Gabe, but they're both gone. 

 

“I was the one you marked who didn't think to sound-dampen my shoes, do you remember?” He smiles again. 

 

“Yeah! Yes, I remember!” I smile as well, but then I remember that he flipped me off and my face gets stuck in this smile-frown thing. Oh Merlin save me. 

 

“Thanks for the tip by the way, I know I was a bit ungrateful there. I'm afraid I'm a bit of a sore loser.” He shrugs and sits down very close. 

 

“No hard feelings.” I say, and mean it. 

 

“I'm glad.” He puts a hand on my thigh. Oh. OH! Is that what's happening? 

 

“Do you know what I would be grateful for?” He looks at me intently, “Your cock down my throat. I would even beg you for it.” His hand travels slowly upwards. I'm not sure how I feel about this. My face must be red as a beetroot right now. 

 

“I'm drunk.” I proclaim suddenly, a bit too loudly. He leers at me. 

 

“Albus! We need to talk!” I look up and there he is. The flicker of the firelight makes his hair shine like gold. 

 

“Scorpius!” I almost shout, “It's so good to see you!” I try to say that next bit in a more appropriate volume, but I'm not sure that I succeeded. 

 

He rolls his eyes at me, but has a small smile on his lips. Success! 

 

“We're busy.” Tall-boy says. I frown at him. Who is he?

 

“It's important.” Scorpius frowns at him as well. We are so well suited for each other. I beam at him, and he seems a bit surprised. 

 

Tall-boy scoffs, “Can't it wait?” 

 

“No.” Scorpius raises an eyebrow and let's the full force of the aristocratic condescension hit tall-boy in the face. 

 

I stand up to try and get the situation under control, but I wobble a bit. Scorpius grabs my arm to steady me. My arm feels all tingly and warm where he's grasping it. 

 

“See you later?” Tall-boy takes a hold of my hand and I reflexively shake it. Wow. Very awkward. 

 

“Bye!” I drop his hand and wave. It did not make this situation feel any less awkward. 

 

Scorpius walks towards the door of the pub and I follow him. 

 

“Where are we going?” I ask. 

 

“You should go home.” He answers without turning to look at me. 

 

“What? But you said that we needed to talk!” I walk faster to try to catch up with him, but he's fast. 

 

“You're drunk.” He snorts.

 

“I know! But I want to talk to you.” I can't help the slight whiny quality of my words, and I cringe when I hear myself. Pathetic. 

 

“Please Scorpius.” It just gets worse and I can't stop myself. 

 

He sighs and sits down on a bench. I stand indecisively beside it until he pats the wood to indicate that I should sit down. It really helps to sit. It feels like the whole world is spinning. 

 

“Why did you drag me away from him if you wont even talk to me?” I stare at my shoes, not daring enough to look at him.

 

“Oh, so you wanted to stay?!” Scorpius bristles.

 

“Hey, I never said that!” Why does all our conversations end up as arguments?

 

“Go back to your fuckboy Potter.” He stands up.

 

“Maybe I should! And you can go back to ignoring me and avoiding me and toying with my feelings!” I don't want to go back though, I want him to talk to me. 

 

“Do you think this is easy for me?!” He shouts, “I have had hundreds of visions of us fucking, and my entire being is yearning for you. Every time you're near me it's like my body knows exactly what should happen and goes into shock when it doesn't. The feel of your hands on my body is haunting me, Al. I hear you shout my name in ecstasy every time I touch myself. Every time I try to go to sleep my mind replays the image of you and me, everything I want, but can't have.” 

 

My mouth drops open. 

 

“Every time I close my eyes I see you die because of me.” He tugs at his hair, “So I can't let _us_ happen because as soon as I do, you're going to die. The only common denominator in the visions that shows me how you give your life to protect mine is that we're.... lovers.” He cringes at that last word. I shiver. 

 

I try a sobriety spell on myself because I really can't understand what's being said. And it stings like a motherfucker. I have to take a few deep breaths before opening my eyes again. I try to remember what he has been saying. 

 

“But you saw me die when you were kidnapped, right?” 

 

“Yes. And it gets worse.” He sits down on the bench again. 

 

“We weren't lovers then.” I say.

 

“No. I know. The circumstances have changed.” He stress-tugs at his hair again, “that instance was the first indicator of it.” He sighs deeply, “It's as if I can't protect you any longer by keeping my distance.” 

 

“You shouldn't keep your distance. I'm sure I can protect myself. And also, my dad is Head Auror.” I want to reach out and grab his hand because he seems really unsettled.

 

“You can't. You can't protect yourself.” He hangs his head between his knees. Hiding.

 

“My visions has changed.” He mumbles, “I see the 'dans l'obscurité', and they've been talking about your tremendous magical powers ever since you couldn't help but disarm an entire room of grown wizards.” He sighs again, “They're talking about how important it is to take you out before you grow to be too strong.” 

 

“But I can disarm an entire room of grown wizards.” I can't help but point out. 

 

“There are a million ways to kill someone, Al.” He sits up straight again, “And you've painted an enormous target on your back after that unnecessary display at the mansion.” 

 

“I'm not afraid.” I say, but it's a lie. I just want him to stop worrying.

 

“You should be.” He grabs my hand and my heart skips a beat, “But I saw something important today.” 

 

“What?” I whisper. 

 

“I saw you avoiding death by time-travel.” He caresses the back of my hand with his thumb, “You'd jumped in time. Eight months forwards. They thought that you had successfully hidden without leaving any trace what so ever. They stopped looking, thinking that Harry Potter wouldn't let his son join in the fighting. But if you try to hide for real, they'll find your secret keeper. Whoever it is.” 

 

“This is confusing. Wasn't all the time-turners destroyed?” I try not to move my hand, afraid that he'll let it go. 

 

“Do you know anyone who has a sample of the Sand of Time?” He looks imploringly at me. 

 

“Yes.” I gasp. I know that Aunt Hermione has some, Hugo told me about it.

 

“I think you and Rose figure out how to use it.” 

 

“Really? Even though Aunt Hermione hasn't? Seems unlikely.” I say.

 

“Unlikely, but not impossible.” He answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG!!! FINALLY SOME ANSWERS!!!


	15. Timeless Dimension

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m truly, very sorry for the late update. You won’t believe what happened though!! My computer crashed and ALL OF MY UNFINISHED FICS DISAPPEARED! So I’ve been going through all stages of grief these past few weeks. But I’m mostly over it now! I met the eyes of the beast Apocalypse and lived to tell the tale! 
> 
> And in other news: 100 COMMENTS (even though half of them are mine lol)! Wow, I’m so happy! You guys are the best ← not even joking. Much love to camichats, plucie, Jennyfer, cromosynthesia and BabyCupCakes!

 

 

“I can't.” I sigh and he squeezes my hand, “I can't leave you. The entirety of my extended family will be here, fighting this war. What if someone gets hurt? And besides, I went to preparation camp because I know that I can contribute. I know what my magic can do. What use am I if I disappear for eight months?”

 

 

“What use are you if you die before the war even gets here?” Scorpius eyes flash in anger, “Staying would be as foolish as jumping off a cliff.”

 

 

“If something happens to any of you, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for leaving.” He huffs and stands.

 

 

“We are not your responsibility, Al! You are just a kid. Nobody expects you to save us! And besides, if I tell them there's a way to save you, they would alter the time-space continuum themselves to get you out of harms way.”

 

 

“Stop acting like a bloody idiot.” He yanks his hair.

 

 

“I'm just trying to make sense of this. Cut me some slack, you told me I'm destined to die a mere fifteen minutes ago.” He smiles at my lame attempt to diffuse the tension.

 

 

“I'm sorry. I shouldn't have sprung this on you.” He sits down beside me again. I feel comforted by the warmth that emanates from him, his thigh pressing against mine.

 

 

“I'm glad you did. Anything is better than being kept in the dark. I need to know these things.” I hesitantly rub my fingertips on his hand, testing the waters.

 

 

“Knowing stuff doesn't make anything any easier, trust me on this one.” He turns his hand, and my fingers slot between his like they were made to do so.

 

 

“Does these new visions mean that the nature of our relationship wont be a catalyst anymore?” I whisper.

 

 

“I can't say for sure. If it changes, there is a risk. And I'm not willing to gamble your life on it.” He draws a shaky breath.

 

 

“Can I kiss you?” I don't know why, but I feel like I have to ask. Even though I know the answer.

 

 

“You'll have to ask again in eight months.” He says, and his smile is both sad and shy. But then there's the crack of apparition as he pops out of existence.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“Time-travel?” Rose narrows her eyes sceptically at me.

 

 

“Scorpius says he's seen us do it.”

 

 

“It sounds highly improbable.” Her finger starts to tap on the table, indicating that she's already running numbers in her head, “I mean, Mum couldn't do it.”

 

 

“Wouldn't that be awesome, if we could manage something even your Mum couldn't.” I try to look innocent, but Rose is scarily perceptive.

 

 

“You don't have to rope me in, Albie. The threat on your life sold it to me hook, line and sinker.” She grabs my hand. What is it with the hand-grabbing? Is that something you have to expect when you're in mortal danger? Although, I wont lie and say that I didn't like it when Scorpius did it.

 

 

“I'm not quite sure that we can figure it out.” And now that I know that she's worried, the crinkles around her eyes doesn't look like scepticism any longer.

 

 

“We could try. I'm not too shabby at Arithmancy, and you're a bloody genius.” I'm actually starting to feel afraid. I don't want to be poisoned. The idea of my throat closing and the edges of my vision blurring makes me really terrified. I started walking around with a Bezoar in my pocket a couple of days ago, but they're not effective against all potions and poisons.

 

 

“We can try.” But her eyes look a bit wet and my heart sinks, it's obvious that she doesn't believe that we'll succeed.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“What if you need an explosive component? Something that forces the sand to react.” Hugo is leaning over my shoulder and putting his ash-stained fingers all over my notes.

 

 

“We already made calculations with all of the possible catalyst-spells. The results point to an insufficient and dangerous outcome.” Rose smacks his hand away.

 

 

“I didn’t mean a spell. I meant a substance. Or an influx of one of the elements. Something more basic. The science of time-tuners has been around for ages, so it would only be logical to assume that the discovery was accidental, or sparked by something most witches and wizards would have on hand a couple of hundred years ago.” Hugo licks his fingers clean.

 

 

Rose gets a far away look in her eyes and starts tapping a quill on the table.

 

 

“Good idea, Hugo.” I say.

 

 

“I know.” He shrugs, and walks away to set something on fire, probably.

 

 

Rose shoots up from the table to grab a book from her Mothers bookshelves, and runs out of the room. My own calculations seem redundant now, so I put my quill down.

 

 

“Albus?” Hermione steps inside the study. Her bushy-hair is piled on her head in a sloppy bun. Her glasses perched a little too far down her nose to be practical. She probably forgot that they’re there.

 

 

“Yes?” I answer.

 

 

“What are you guys researching?” She walks over to look at the notes but I put a book over them and open it to make it look like I’m reading from it.

 

 

“Nothing in particular. Just some spells to help with warding if the dans l'obscuritéever reach the borders.” I keep looking at the pages of the book, if I meet her eyes I’m afraid that she’ll see right through me.

 

 

“Oh? And what kind of warding spells sends my daughter into a frenzy?”

 

 

“We wanted to see if we could possibly invent some new ones, but you know Rose, she doesn’t want to tell anyone before we have anything to show for it.” That does sound like something Rose would do, and I’m hoping my Aunt will think so too.

 

 

“Hmm.” She answers non-committally and wanders out of the room.

 

 

For the first time, it feels like the possibility of time travel is within my reach. I dip my quill in some fresh ink and reach for a blank parchment.

 

 

_I know that it will be hard for you to understand why I had to leave like this. And I wished with all my heart that I wouldn’t be forced to, but my time is up. I can not tell you where I’m going, because it is not safe for you to know. Please believe me when I say that I did not want to leave you. Especially not in these tumultuous times. But Scorpius told me that I wouldn’t live to help you if I stayed, and that if I leave now, I will be able to help you when I come back. I want to be of use, and he promised me that this was the only way. And I trust him, even though I wish that his visions were untrue. Please forgive me for leaving._

 

_I love you._

 

 

 

“Albus! I’ve got it!” Rose runs into the room, her red hair wild and static.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“Are you ready?” Rose grabs my wrist for a second.

 

 

“No. But let’s do it anyway.” I smile at her, but I suspect it’s more of a grimace.

 

 

“Safe travels.” Hugo ruffles my hair, and needs to stand on his toes to reach.

 

 

“Are you ready?” I ask them.

 

 

“Must we? Obliviation is so unnatural.” Hugo shudders.

 

 

“I need to keep you as safe as possible, Hugo. I couldn’t live with myself if you are harmed because of me, because of this.” He scoffs.

 

 

“What about the research, Albie?” Rose stares at the Sand of Time wistfully.

 

 

“I’ll tell you all about it when I come back, ok?” I take the letter out from the pocket of my jeans. It’s a bit crumpled.

 

 

“Can you show this to my family? To Penny and Gabe?” Rose takes it.

 

 

“How ever will I remember?” She says in a deadpan voice.

 

 

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.” I raise my wand and point it at her head.

 

 

“Obliviate!” The ever existing fire in Rose’s eyes dim, and it feels retched even though I know that they will light up again as soon as I’m finished.

 

 

Remember me, Rose. If I don’t make it back, please remember me.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The absolute blackness is something I’ve never imagined could exist. The darkest of nights is nothing compared to the sheer nothingness of this darkness.

 

 

It’s like all of the lights and colours has been sucked out of the universe. This void is heavy in it’s nothingness, it is suffocating, and still, the air is easy to breathe. I do fear it. I do fear being stuck inside of this vortex forever without end in sight. It certainly feels endless. It feels like eternity.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

The jolt when the world reappears makes me stagger. I look around me and clutch the invisibility cloak tighter to avoid it falling off because of my clumsiness.

 

 

I’m still in the Granger-Weasley cellar. So it’s hard to know what time it is, what date. I cast a silencing spell on my shoes before walking up the stairs, fear still gripping my heart.

 

 

I open the door to the hallway as silently as I’m able.

 

 

The first thing I hear is that someone is snoring. I can’t help but laugh quietly, it feels like I’ve been gone for so long, but everything seems to be the same as always. To my own surprise I can feel my eyes starting to well up. I don’t even know if it's because of regret or because I’m relieved. It feels like I left a part of myself in the dark void of the timeless dimension. That somehow, I am less whole.

 

 

My Grandfather sits in an old, green velvet clad armchair. It’s my Uncle Ron’s favourite.

 

 

“Arthur?” I remove the invisibility cloak and fold it up.

 

 

“Huh?” He clears his clogged up throat twice before opening his eyes. When he sees me he startles.

 

 

“Albus?!” He stands up, a bit unsteadily, “Do my eyes deceive me?” He grasps my face in his weathered hands. His milky blue eyes wander across my face unblinkingly, as if he’s scared that I’ll vanish into thin air if he closes his eyes even for a second.

 

 

“Oh, my boy. I’m so glad that you’re here.” I’m enveloped in his gangly arms. I return his embrace carefully, and the tears threaten to fall once more.

 

 

“I’m so glad to be back.” I say, and it is forced through my clenched lips as I try not to cry, “Where is everyone? What day is it, what year?” I can’t help it, the uncertainty holds my heart in a crushing grip.

 

 

He looks searchingly at me once more, and his forehead furrow in bewilderment, “Where have you been, Albus?”

 

 

“I jumped in time.” I smile at him even though my eyes are still wet.

 

 

He laughs, “Marvellous! Simply brilliant!”

 

 

I pull out of the embrace but keep my hands on his shoulders, “Where are the others?”

 

 

“They’re spread out. Your Father is with Hermione, Ron, Teddy and George at the Resistance headquarters in Bournemouth. Your mother is doing scouting missions with James. Lily and the younger cousins is at Hogwarts and Rose is also there, but she’s flooing to the headquarters at least a couple of times a month to help out with strategies, you know she’s full of ideas, our little Rosie.”

 

 

“Yes. That she is.” I take a deep breath, “And where is Hugo?”

 

 

“No one knows.” He looks away. “But Fred, Roxanne, Victoire and Dominique is still at home. They help out when they can.”

 

 

“I’m glad that they’re safe.”

 

 

He grasps my hands, “They aren’t safe. None of us are.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enough with the tears already! Onwards to SMUT and ACTION (yay!!)


	16. Complexities and Complications

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised no more angst but I just couldn’t help myself!! I’m hoping to make it up to you by posting an extra long chapter though. I’m really into my writing right now, so I’m planning to get a few more chapters out before the muse leaves me for a better prospect. I hope you’re still with me in this! Thanks to all who leaves kudos, and thanks to camichat, plucie, davidwv and Jennyfer for commenting! 
> 
> PS. “Dans” is the abbreviation they use to describe the dans l'obscurité

 

 

“ALBUS! Thank Merlin you’re alright!” My dad grabs me and hauls me into his arms in a bone-crushing hug, “Why on earth didn’t you tell us anything before you left?!” He has let me out of the hug but is still holding on to me with his hands on my shoulders. His eyes are a bit manic and he’s thinner than he was when I left.

 

 

“It wasn’t safe to tell anyone. It would’ve put you in danger.” My uncles are striding down the corridor towards us.

 

 

“Bollocks to that! I’m always in danger, Al. It would’ve been easier if I’d known where you were.”

 

 

“Hey Albie.” Hermione has slipped up behind me and lays a hand on my shoulder next to my dads.

 

 

“Good to have you back.” George pats my back a little too hard, as always.

 

 

“It’s good to be back.” I say.

 

 

“I want to hear everything about where you’ve been and what you’ve been doing. But right now we’re heading into a meeting.” Dad slings an arm around my waist, “Do you want to come with? We could have dinner later tonight?”

 

 

“That sounds good. But I haven’t really been able to keep up with current events.”

 

 

“No worries, Albie, just the same old Dark Wizards shit that we’re unfortunately used to by now.” Ron ruffles my hair but I can’t muster up any annoyance, just immense gratitude because of the fact that I get to see him again.

 

 

George opens a door further down the corridor and my dad ushers me inside and keeps his hand on my back as if I have a permanent sticking charm on me.

 

 

“This is my son Albus. He will join us today.” Dad says, and I can see the tremor of unease that goes through the group of people in the room. I would estimate that it’s about 20 of them, close-nit and probably carefully selected and screened before they were let in to this room. Some of them have probably heard about me and my magic. I can’t blame them for questioning my presence.

 

 

“I can leave.” I whisper in my dads ear.

 

 

“Nonsense.” He answers and pats my back, indicating that I should sit.

 

 

“We need to discuss the most recent attack on the muggle villages in Cornwall. The warding is not enough, we need to send some of the groups on regular check-ups.” Hermione says, putting brightly coloured pins on the table that is transfigured into a topographical model of England.

 

 

“We can not spare any more groups to babysit the muggles, Mrs Granger! If they break through our defences, our weakened defences, the muggles will die anyway. We must put our groups where they matter, on the front line where they can stop the Dans before they can reach the villages.” A dark-haired man interrupts.

 

 

“And how would we stop them Ansgar? Where would the front line be?” Hermione scowls, “I know you want to attack them in France but it would be too easy for them just to scatter and regroup as they did in September.”

 

 

“What does Mr Malfoy recommend?” Bromley’s voice cuts through the murmurs.

 

 

“Mr Malfoy will be here to tell you himself in a couple of minutes.” Dad says, and I can’t help the anticipating flutter of my heart.

 

 

“Let’s not decide anything yet. I think we should wait until Mr Malfoy has a say, maybe he has seen something new.” A tall, skinny man rubs his hands anxiously.

 

 

Hermione snorts, “Mr Malfoy only sees different possibilities. The visions could change if we manage to come up with a decent strategy.”

 

 

“Mrs Granger is right. You need to make plans regardless of what I tell you about the future, because my visions do not make or shape the future, you do. Your plans does. I can only tell you about the probability of failure or success of those plans.” Scorpius walks into the room and it’s as if the air got sucked right out of it.

 

 

He has changed. The slenderness of his strength has morphed into harsh lines and sharp edges. His cheekbones was always pronounced, but now they cut through his face dramatically. His eyes are sunken, the dark circles under his eyes makes the grey/blue of his irises seem almost unearthly. He is dressed in a severe black dress robe, it’s buttoned all the way up to his chin which makes him look a couple of inches taller, enhancing they way that his muscles are pulled taught across his bones. The war has taken an obvious toll on him, but he is still the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. He hasn’t seen me yet, he’s keeping his eyes fixed on the table.

 

 

“We should have groups circulate the southern villages to strengthen the wards. For now, our best option is to protect the muggles. We have people who are working hard on coming up with a sound strategy that minimises the losses. Until then, there’s not much else to do except for reinforcing the wards.” Dad says. And Scorpius spots me. His eyes widen dramatically for half a second before he schools his features to a more neutral expression. But I can see that he’s breathing much heavier than before. His cheeks darken to a dusty pink.

 

 

After that, I can’t really concentrate on anything other than him. And he can’t stop staring at me.

 

 

“Albus?” My dad takes a hold of my shoulder to get my attention.

 

 

“Huh?” I force myself to look at him. He seems amused.

 

 

“The meeting is over. Do you want to wait for your mother and James to come back so that we can have dinner all four of us?” No, I don’t want that. I don’t want to face their judgemental stares and the feel of their constant disappointment towards me. But I also want to see Scorpius right away. So I guess having dinner later would be a good idea. I'll have to face them sooner or later, might as well get it over with. 

 

 

“Yeah sure. You’ll send a patronus?” I get out of my chair, eager to find Scorpius and talk to him, seeing as he already left the room.

 

 

“It wont be too long. I just have to talk to Hermione about something. And they should be back in an hour or two.” He is still holding on to my shoulder, and seems a bit reluctant to let go.

 

 

“No stress. I promise I’m not going anywhere.” I pat his hand awkwardly. He pulls me into a brief hug.

 

 

“See that you don’t. Nearly had a heart attack last time, you know.” He smiles to take the sting out of the words, a bit unsuccessfully.

 

 

“I’m sorry.” I say.

 

 

“No. Hey, don’t be. I’m so happy that you’re alive and well. That is worth much more than not seeing you for eight months.” He hugs me again. I clear my throat.

 

 

“If there was any other way -” I start to say but he interrupts me, “I know, I know. I don’t blame you for leaving. I promise.” His eyes crinkle.

 

 

“Harry?” Hermione calls from outside of the room.

 

 

“Be right there!” He shouts.

 

 

“Go. I’ll see you at dinner.” I give him a weak shove towards the door. He walks away with only one more look over his shoulder.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Come in.” I asked a girl about which room he lives in, and she took one look at my face and recognized it (probably because I look like my dad), and gave me directions to the right door. But this whole place is built like a maze, so it took me a while to find it.

 

 

I turn the doorknob slowly, and the stainless steel of it feels nice and cool in my sweaty hands. He’s standing with his back towards me when I step into the room.

 

 

“Scorpius.” It leaves me in a breathy exhale, and it’s not what I planned to say.

 

 

“Albus. I’m so glad that you’ve returned to us.” He doesn’t turn around and his shoulders are almost drawn up to his ears, he’s so tense. I close the door behind me.

 

 

“I’m glad it worked, it felt like it was a bit touch and go there for a minute or two.” I wanted to make him laugh but when he turns around he looks devastated.

 

 

“I saw you. Both outcomes. Sometimes you came back and sometimes you…. You didn’t.” He takes a deep breathe, and it sounds a bit shaky, “The possibility that I could’ve sent you to your death is…..it killed me.” He sobs.

 

 

I take two steps closer to him, “You saved me! You wanted me to jump in time so that I wouldn’t get murdered, remember?” He hugs himself tightly, his arms clutching his abdomen.

 

 

“But what if you would’ve been stuck in the timeless dimension?” He whispers towards to floor.

 

 

“I still would’ve died if I’d stayed.” I risk laying one hand carefully on his arm.

 

 

“We don’t know that with a 100 % certainty.” He shakes his head but doesn’t dislodge my hand, in fact, he sways a bit towards me.

 

 

“I probably would’ve.” I take one step closer. I just can’t stand that he seems so distraught.

 

 

“Yes. But what if?” He shudders.

 

 

“Don’t do that to yourself. I’m here. I’m fine – alive, thanks to you.” I stroke his arm twice. I want to offer him some kind of comfort.

 

 

His hands come up to splay over my chest, over my heart. His eyes are still fixed on the floor. But he takes a step closer, and now there’s no space between us. My heart feels like a thrashing bird trying to claw itself out of my chest. He must feel it straining towards his fingers. I risk raising my other hand and loosely gripping his other arm with it.

 

 

“Al.” He whispers, “I… I’m so glad you’re back.” His hands feels like they’re branding me. They’re so warm, my skin feels like it’s burning underneath them.

 

 

He starts breathing a bit faster, a bit louder. Every breath he takes resonates in my heart, in my cock. I want him so bad it hurts.

 

 

And then someone opens the door, and he snatches his hands away and takes a few hurried steps to put some distance between us.

 

 

“Cory! Rose is here to help outline the next attack in-” A tall, dark haired man with chiselled features and a fair amount of muscles stops his sentence abruptly when he sees me. Cory? I’ve only heard Malfoy senior call him that. Not even Rose is allowed to.

 

 

“And who might you be?” He asks, but redirects his eyes towards Scorpius with a raised eyebrow as soon as the question is out of his mouth.

 

 

“I’m Albus,” I don’t make any move to offer a handshake and he seems equally unmoving, “and you are?”

 

 

“That’s classified.” He’s still looking at Scorpius, and Scorpius remains silent.

 

 

“Boyfriend?” I ask. I know Scorpius is…. Sexually active, but it the possibility of him being in a relationship with this utter twat hurts like a kick in the nuts.

 

 

That word gets them both to look at me though.

 

 

“No!” Scorpius exclaim at the same time as tall-and-prickly mutters, “It’s complicated.”

 

 

“Right.” I can’t think of anything else to say, so I stand there for a second in complete and devastating silence before hurrying out the door.

 

 

Fucking fuck. FUCK.

 

 

A light bulb shatters above my head, but I hit it with a quick reparo before the glass lands in my hair.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“Albie!” Rose spots me and hurries to catch up. She throws her arms around me and squeezes harder than a girl of her stature should be able to.

 

 

“I can’t believe you didn’t come to me first! I know I must have been the one who helped you with the whole time-warping thing!” This hug is starting to feel like being trapped in a Devil’s Snare. I gently withdraw from the embrace, and she reluctantly lets go of me.

 

 

“You did help me. You were brilliant as always.” I smile tightly, my stomach is still churning because of the whole boyfriend-not boyfriend thing.

 

 

“Oh Albie. I wish you could’ve stayed. Hugo went AWOL when Mum forbade him to join the fighting. You’re the only one who can get him to realise that his fucking ideas are stupid sometimes.”

 

 

“He can’t be made responsible for your brother or his actions, Rose.” Scorpius says. And I have to close my eyes for a second before turning to face him. If he looks at me with pity I swear to Merlin I will…. Run and hide? Feel even more miserable? Doubt that it’s possible to feel worse than this though.

 

 

“...That’s not what I meant.” Rose glares at him. He looks unaffected by it. An impressive feat, Rose has been known to make grown men shake in their shoes.

 

 

“It sounded like you were blaming him.” He is crossing his arms now, staring her down.

 

 

“This is a family matter, Scorpius!” She bristles.

 

 

“I need to talk to him alone.” He counters.

 

 

“I’m standing right here.” I feel the need to interject.

 

 

“Shut up!” Rose snarls and then instantly looks embarrassed, “Sorry. It’s just – It’s been quite stressful lately.”

 

 

“It’s alright. I want to help.” I assure her.

 

 

“Could I have a word?” Scorpius turns towards me, and I can’t help but look to Rose for help. She looks confused.

 

 

“Eh. Sure?” But I’m still looking at Rose, trying to wordlessly convey ‘get me out of here’. She doesn’t seem to get the hint.

 

 

“I’m having dinner with you and your family later. You can tell me all about our research.” She walks away a bit falteringly, looking back at what must be my terrified face.

 

 

“I swear she only has one thing on her mind, it’s always ‘you simply must read this book, its absolutely ground-breaking’ with her.” He tries to mimic her voice, but it ends up sounding shrill.

 

 

I clear my throat awkwardly. But it’s clogged up by nerves.

 

 

“If you would've stayed to hear me out we could’ve -” He starts, but I don’t want to hear it, “You don’t owe me any explanations.” I say, and I’m proud of how steady my voice is, despite the circumstances.

 

 

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

 

 

“Whatever you say.” I try to say it so that it sounds like I wouldn’t care either way.

 

 

“You’re an idiot.” He sneers, before stomping off.

 

 

Yes, apparently I am. Most definitely. I've been suspecting it for as long as this Scorpius-thing has been going on, which is a really long time.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

The family dinner went as expected. But I had time to owl Penny and Gabe before it started, so they showed up to cut the agonizing tension short.

 

 

“You haven’t seen us for eight months Albus Severus, and now your scurrying off to be with your friends instead of staying for dessert?” Mum scowls when dad lets them in.

 

 

“He’s going to come and live here with us, Ginny. We’re seeing him again in a couple of hours.” Dad tries to placate her. Unsuccessfully, judging by the frown on her freckled forehead.

 

 

“We’re his family.” She grumbles, and Gabe shrinks a little because he’s feeling unwelcome. Penny moves to stand in front of him.

 

 

“I’ll be back shortly, mum. I promise.” I say, and James snorts into his wine glass.

 

 

“ENOUGH!” Dad shouts, “That’s enough from you both! Can you pull your heads out of your arses for one moment to appreciate the fact that Albus is UNHARMED?! You have been treating him like shit for too long, and he has absolutely no reason to stick around to help us except for the goodness of his heart. So you should be grateful.”

 

 

“They’re perfectly entitled to be angry about the fact that I left.” I say, and it comes out a bit strangled.

 

 

“They are not! You had no choice, Al. And they should be thankful that you managed to get away with your life! Merlin, you didn’t even tell anyone because you wanted to protect us! This is exactly what I wanted to spare you from. I never wanted you to be alone, or to face such hard decisions on your own.” He breaks down in tears at that last part.

 

 

“Dad.” I go around the table to hug him tightly, “It’s not your fault.”

 

 

“It’s not yours either, Albus. My poor, poor boy.” He strokes my hair.

 

 

“I’m sorry.” James forces himself to say. And I appreciate it. Even though I still feel like I did something wrong by leaving them, “I’m sorry too.” I say. But that sends dad into a fresh bout of sobs.

 

 

James stands up, and the force of it makes his chair almost topple over. He gathers me and dad both in his long arms, “Don’t be, little brother. I’ve been a complete wanker. Lily would hit me.”

 

 

“She always was the smartest one.” Dad says teasingly, even though he’s still crying.

 

 

“Ain’t that the truth.” James concurs.

 

 

Mum walks out of the room in silence.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“What did he look like?” All three of us are in my newly designated bed that sits in the corner of a cramped, neutrally decorated room spelled to connect with my dads headquarter apartment. Penny is playing with my hair distractedly. Gabe has been holding my hand since we walked in here.

 

 

“Handsome. Fit as fuck. Posh, by the looks of it.” I answer crestfallenly.

 

 

“If he says it’s not his boyfriend, then it’s probably not his boyfriend.” Gabe says, “Ask him about it.”

 

 

“They’re shagging.” I groan.

 

 

“So what? He’s shagged a lot of people before and that didn’t send you into emo-mode.” Gabe tugs my hand.

 

 

“He called him Cory.” I sound so pathetic, but I can’t help myself. Penny gasps.

 

 

“Uh-oh. That actually sounds serious.”

 

 

“I know.” I whine.

 

 

“Don’t worry about it, Al. Now that you’re back, he’s going to forget that Dreamboat ever existed. I mean, who can withstand your bubbling personality and your general positive outlook on life?” Gabe says, and penny smacks him.

 

 

“You should tell him about your love-life, Gabe. If your so tired of hearing about his.”

 

 

“It’s not that I’m tired of it, it just never changes: Scorpius this, Scorpius that. It’s like watching a gross but awesome film over and over again, and you know how it’s going to end but you still hope it ends differently.” Gabe sighs.

 

 

“What happened in your love-life?” I tug his hand right back.

 

 

“Don’t you dare tell him!” Gabe shouts as soon as Penny opens her mouth.

 

 

“There can be no secrets between us! Wasn’t that the pact that you insisted on after the whole middle-name débâcle?” I hold him down as he tries to escape and Penny helps me by grabbing his trashing legs.

 

 

“Only truth and nothing but the truth! Wasn’t that the words you used?” Penny exclaims dramatically.

 

 

“You wont like it!” He warns me.

 

 

“As long as it’s not James, it’s fine.” I say. And the silence worries me.

 

 

“Please tell me it’s not James.” I beg.

 

 

“It’s not James, Merlin Al, I know he’s your brother, but he’s such a bell-end.” Gabe takes a deep breath, “It’s Rose.”

 

 

“What!?” I stare him in the eyes, and he seems serious, “But she is so intimidating. And intense. Does she even have time for a relationship? She’s taking like, a hundred N.E.W.T.s!”

 

 

“Well she doesn’t have a lot of spare time, that’s true.” Penny mutters.

 

 

“I kind of like that she’s a bit intense.” Gabe smirks.

 

 

“I don’t want to know!” I clasp my hands over my ears, and I can see them laughing at me, “But seriously mate, I’m happy if you’re happy.” I tell him.

 

 

“I am happy.” He smiles.

 

 

“Enough sentiment, please. It’s like my life is a soap opera, what with you two rubbing your icky feelings all over the place.” Penny smacks him again, but she smiles. My two favourite morons are smiling in my bed, and I’m just so, so happy that I got to see them again.

 

 

 

 


	17. Elemental and Unavoidable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you’re having a good week! Thanks a million to camichats for commenting. I’ll dedicate my next fic to you if you want!

  


 

I’m in the middle of lunch when it comes to me. Hugo is fighting the Dans, that much is obvious, but did anyone think to check for recent natural disasters in France? He would deem fire too obvious but what about floods, or earthquakes? I know he was looking into elemental magic before I left. He reckoned he had a talent for it, what with his magic being prone to set things on fire.

  


“Rose!” She’s piling an enormous amount of food onto her tray, and reading a book at the same time. She doesn’t hear me. “ROSE!” Other people start to stare and I stand up to walk up to her instead of shouting her name across the room like a mad man. Should’ve thought of that from the start.

  


“Oh hi Albie. Gabe told me that he told you.” She frowns, “I hope you’re going to be an adult about this, friends are not possessions you know.”

  


“It’s not about that, it’s about Hugo.” I scowl right back at her, annoyed at her assumptions.

  


“Oh!” She puts a levitation charm on the book and the tray behind her and grabs my arm, “Tell me all about it!” She says, and puts everything, including me, down at a corner table.

  


“Well, I’m not sure about this or anything, but did you check the muggle newspapers if they reported any unexpected natural disturbances? Any sudden spikes of seismic activity, floods or power cuts?”

  


“Albus! You’re a genius! I take back everything mean I’ve ever said about you.” She kisses my cheek and runs off without touching the food, clasping the book to her stomach.

  


I start to pack the food in transfigured bags, I might as well take it back to Gabe so that he can give it to her. Although, he probably has to force-feed her to get her to eat something. She’s way too absent-minded for her own good.

  


“Albus, was it?” I’m in the middle of packing up the last of it when a posh accent and tanned finger tapping me on my shoulder makes me drop the carrot sticks on the floor.

  


“Shit.” I banish the carrots and turn to face Mr “it’s complicated”. Merlin, I hate the guy.

  


“Yes?” I ask, meeting his eyes squarely.

  


“Are you Harry Potters son?” He eyes me sceptically.

  


“What does it look like?” I scoff. I have no interest in being polite to the guy.

  


“How do you know Cory?” He takes a step closer in a pathetic attempt to intimidate me.

  


“I’m afraid that’s classified.” I say, and he snorts.

  


“I’m sure you want to believe that you stand a chance with him, but he has no interest in little boys any more, Potter. He needs a man by his side.”

  


I put my mouth right next to his ear, I don’t want anyone to accidentally overhear it, “And tell me, does he still wear that crystal I gave him when you fuck? Does he put it in his mouth to suck on? Does he close his eyes and think of me?”

  


His body goes rigid and I know my words have hit their mark. He steps away.

  


“You don’t stand a chance.” He tries to cover his unease with a smirk.

  


“We’ll see.” I have a feeling that my answering smirk is a bit more convincing.

  


 

* * *

  


  
“There is a lot of strange natural occurrences recorded in France in the last few months, but I can’t seem to distinguish a pattern.” Rose points to a couple of different newspaper-clippings laid out on the table.

  


“Which is the most resent one?” I look at one of the pictures that show a building that had been struck by lightning twice, the roof of it caving in and the grass around it black as coal.

  


“It’s this one.” She points to an article about a village being flooded, the river running through it'd reached record heights.

  


“When?” I look closely at the picture, trying to remember the details, the landmarks. It’s never a good idea to apparate blindly.

  


“Yesterday. But I bet he didn’t stick around.” Rose sighs, her curly hair in a state of chaos, even more so than usual.

  


“I’ll go. Snoop around a bit. I could get lucky and get a whiff of his magical signature.” I pat her awkwardly on the back.

  


“If your sure.” She looks at me expectantly. I hope I wont disappoint her.

  


“I’ll go right now.” I grasp my wand firmly.

  


“Wait! At least step outside the warding so that you wont strain yourself. You need that magic of yours if you’re hoping to catch his magical signature.”

  


“You’re right.” I zip up my hoodie, and she hugs me again, “Be careful, Albie.”

 

  


 

* * *

  


 

  
I disillusioned myself before apparating, and even though I’m practically invisible, I trudge on the ground as careful as possible. You never know, right? The last thing I want is to be forced to jump in time again because of some ill-timed confrontation with the Dans.

  


The air is slightly humid, as it is after a particularly heavy downfall. The villagers seems to have just recently returned to their houses after having been evacuated.

  


I’m standing in a small gathering of trees, overlooking the river. This must’ve been where Hugo did his magic. The Dans probably occupied one or several of the houses closest the river. But what good did the flooding do? They must’ve been able to apparate away? Gathered their things? There’s plenty of time to do so during a flood, especially for a Wizard.

  


I guess I’ll just have to ask him about it.

  


I close my eyes and concentrate on calling on my own magic. I let it fill me up, breathing deeply, steadily, before spreading my arms and letting the magic flow out of my fingers.

  


Hugo. Hugo. Hugo. Hugo.

  


I concentrate on how his magic feels. What it smells like, how it seems to be sparking and spiting almost all the time.

  


Hugo.  


  


I picture him casting, and focus on how the air feels when his magic leaves him.

  


And there it is. A small amount of his magic lingers a few paces to the left of me. I grab it with all my might, all my magic, before forcefully tugging on the connection it has with Hugo himself. I breath in. I concentrate on that connection. I apparate.

  


“Bloody hell.”

  


I open my eyes and there he is. Dirty, dishevelled, but very much alive and seemingly unhurt.

  


“You scared the shit out of me Albus. Where have you been?” Hugos blue eyes blinks in disbelief.

  


“I could ask you the same, you know. I’m not the one who ran off on some vigilante mission. You’re family is worried about you.”

  


“Oh come off it, Al. You’re the one who left in the first place. You think your family wasn’t worried?” He scoffs and wipes the mud off his face with an equally dirty shirtsleeve.

  


“I had to leave, you chose to.” I scrub his face with my sweater instead, and he sits still whilst I do.

  


“Choice is an illusion.” He mumbles from behind the fabric.

  


“Spare me the philosophy lesson. It’s time to go home. They need your help with the strategies. They can’t move forward with the plans that they have, because the group is undecided on how to best divide up the limited resources.” The dirt just wont come off and I give up trying manually and hit him with a strong cleansing charm instead.

  


“Fucking ow! Put a lid on that sizeable magic of yours and don’t use it on innocent, unsuspecting family members, please. Merlin you’re a menace.” But he puts his arm under his nose and sniffs it. He looks pleased, as if he forgot to clean himself and couldn’t understand where the bad smell was coming from.

  


“I suspect that you’ve gathered a sizeable amount of important information. Why don’t you come on home with me and tell them all about what you’ve found? Besides, I need someone to watch over Lily and the youngsters at Hogwarts.” I spot his backpack propped up against an old racing broom beside a small cot. So I go over to it and start packing his stuff. There’s not much to pack.

  


“Don’t give me that shite. Lily is worse than you, she could crush me in a heartbeat. She can look after the little ones by herself.” But he doesn’t stop me from packing his things, so I know he’s not that adversed to the idea of coming back with me.

  


“I can’t lose her, Hugo.” I turn to look him in the eyes when I say this, and I don’t need to fake anything because I am deadly serious about it, “And besides, even if you refuse to go back to Hogwarts I’m sure you and your mum could reach some sort of compromise.”

  


“Compromise? Have you meet my mother?” He snorts, but he has a fond look in his eyes and I know I’m almost there now.

  


“I’ll help you. I promise.” I put my hand out for him to shake, and he takes it.

  


“Fine.” He says, and I apparate him before he has time to let go of my hand.

 

  


  


* * *

 

 

“So I heard you went to France.” I let out an undignified squeal, dropping the book I was reading and reaching for my wand before I even register what happened.

  


“Scorpius?” I’m on guard duty, watching the surveillance charms from the roof. It’s a bit chilly and he has a scarf wrapped around him, “What are you doing up here?”

  


“I’ve come to tell you who much of an idiot you are.” He frowns.

  


“What else is new?” I smile, and his frown deepens.

  


“What did you tell Marcel?” He asks.

  


“Oh Marcel is it? I thought his name was classified?” I know I’m winding him up but I just can’t help myself.

  


“It is. What did you tell him?” He strides purposely forward, and puts his hand on his hips, which makes his scarf slip from one of his shoulders. He’s wearing a white, loose t-shirt underneath in some material that looks really soft.

  


“He started it.” I know. I know it’s horrible. But I got distracted by how good he looks.

  


“How old are you, like five?” He sneers. And I know that I deserved it, but it stings because of the fact that his ‘it’s complicated’ is older than me. Probably more mature as well.

  


“I just told him the truth. That I gave you the crystal.” I shrug. I can’t help the satisfaction I feel when he visibly pales, probably thinking about in what situation that little tidbit would be deemed highly relevant.

  


“I can’t believe you!” He almost shouts, “That is private!”

  


“But it’s not private. He tried to warn me off you, Scorpius, but I know that you like to keep me close. Why shouldn’t he know that as well?” I grab the end of the scarf and wrap it around him. He shivers.

  


“Going to France by yourself, unprotected, was an idiot move, Potter.” He says, much more quietly than before.

  


  
“You know my name. It’s not Potter that you scream in your dreams is it?” This is dangerous, I know it, he knows it. But I’m just tired of it all. The push and pull of it. I want something to snap. I’m feeling manic, reckless.

  


“Don’t use that information against me like this.” He growls.

  


“Don’t go downstairs and let Marcel fuck you. He’s just a poor substitute, isn’t he?” I rather expect that he isn’t actually, with the ‘Cory’ privileges and all, but I desperately want him to be.

  


“Fuck you.” He slaps me. The sting of it travels straight to my cock. I grab his wrist and squeeze. Hard. His eyes dilate.

  


I use the hold on his wrist to tug him closer, and I use my other arm to crush him against me, “Tell me that he doesn’t mean anything to you.” I say it into his mouth, and he let’s out a breathy whimper. His breath smells like citrus. Tart. It makes my blood sing.

  


“Tell me to stop and I will.” I move the hand that I used to grasp his wrist and I cradle the back of his neck in it, winding his silky hair between my fingers. So soft.

  


“What-” He whispers, “What if it puts you in danger?” His hands come up to presumably push me away, but he grasps my henley instead.

  


“Tell me he doesn’t mean anything to you.” I pull his hair backwards to expose his neck and I push the words into the smooth skin of it. He whines like he’s dying. “Please baby. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand the thought of it.” I whisper it in his ear, and tighten the hold of my arm that circles his waist.

  


“Albus!” He gasps.

  


“That’s right. That’s the name. That’s the name you should have on your lips every time you get yourself off, no matter who helps you.” The intensity of the surge of possessiveness that I feel is alarming.

  


I bite down on the junction between his shoulder and his neck, right on his jugular. I suck on the skin that’s trapped between my teeth.

  


“AH!” He gasps. He’s trembling, shaking, and it’s the most wonderful thing I could ever imagine. His hands winds through my hair, pushing me harder against him. My teeth deeper into his skin.

  


“It’s only you. Only ever you.” He moans breathlessly as I lick my way up towards his ear, his jaw. I can’t help but groan at his words.

  


“That’s it love.” I grab the globes of his perfect arse in my hands and knead roughly, and it makes him wind his arms around my neck as he tries to keep himself upright. He wobbles unsteadily and it makes me want to manhandle him.

  


I nip and suck my way up towards his mouth and he’s panting harshly now. When our lips are less than an inch apart I stop. I want him to close the distance.

  


  


BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

  


“SHIT! That’s the wards.” Scorpius shouts, and we both crouch down to look at the surveillance charms.  


  


“I can’t see anything!” Scorpius exclaims. The alarm is supposed to go off if the wards are tampered with, or manipulated in any way. The surveillance charms are set up to record the inside of the wards, so they could still be on the outside of them. It could be nothing. Or it could be an attack. I send my Thestral patronus to dad, even though he must’ve heard the alarm already. If he’s at the headquarters, that is.

  


“It could be nothing.” I say, trying to get us both to calm down.

  


“Al! What happened?!” Dad strides through the door to the roof, and I can’t help but feel relieved.

  


“We haven’t spotted anything unusual on the surveillance charms.” I answer as he squats down to look at them himself.

  


“I haven’t seen anything that could point towards this in my visions,” Scorpius says, “It’s probably nothing, sir.”

  


“Let’s not jump to any conclusions just yet.” Dad answers, peering intensely at the live feed that’s projected on the low wall.

  


“Of course not, sir. I only meant.. Of course not.” Scorpius blushes.

  


“Scorpius has a point.” I interject, and he gives me a death glare for butting in.

  


“Hmm.” Dad grabs his wand and mutters a couple of spells under his breath, “There’s no trace of anything out of the ordinary.”

  


Hugo’s Peruvian Vipertooth patronus appears behind us, “They’re here.” It says.  


  


  


  


  



	18. Without wards or wands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY for the long wait! The muse left me, as you probably would have guessed. And then my friends stayed over for a couple of weeks. And my blog has really taken off, so I’m spending way too much time on that and way too little on this (and I actually really prefer this. So that’s a shame). Shitty excuses, I know. But I promise you that I will finish this fic! 
> 
> Because of all the delays I’m going to post a shorter chapter. It was supposed to be a bit longer but I figured that you’ve been waiting long enough! Thanks a million to all the people who are still reading this! It means more than anything to me haha TMI. 
> 
> I want to send some extra love to camichats, novamelone, Worldofsuperbae, plucie and littlecherrya! Your comments keeps the chapters coming! Even though they’re super late (the chapters, not the comments haha)!

 

 

 

“How the fuck did they manage to get through the wards?!” Uncle Rons voice bellows to us as we run down the stairs.

 

 

“They aren’t showing up on the surveillance charms. They must’ve found some way to get past them.” Dad says in a much lower tone of voice, and we huddle together behind a door, “They could be disillusioned as well. Ron, send your patronus to warn the others, tell them to get out. There’s no way we can take them if we can’t see where they are, or cancel their spell. It can't be a known disillusion spell. Nothing I’ve ever heard of, that’s for sure.”

 

 

“I already sent it, Hermione probably sent hers as well.” Ron peers out from behind our hiding place,“Albus. You should go with Mr Malfoy here. Protect him, get him out. We’ll cover you.”

 

 

“Ready?” Scorpius asks, and I nod. Because it’s easier than lying.

 

 

“Don’t let them take me alive. I know too much.” He whispers, and I nod again, even though I could never hurt him. Even if it meant that he gets captured. And he narrows his eyes at me, so I assume that he suspects that I’m not entirely truthful.

 

 

“Go now!” Dad gives us a push towards the door that leads out into the hallway.

 

 

“Do you think that you could apparate us both through the wards?” He whispers. I angle myself so that I walk slightly in front of him. Just in case.

 

 

“I can’t risk it with you. I’ll take us if I have to.”

 

 

“Better splinched than dead.” He snorts.

 

 

“I may have to hold you to that statement.” I smile at him.

 

 

“EXPULSO!” A man jumps out from underneath what looks like an invisibility cloak, but Scorpius manages to cast a protection charm over us before the wall behind us crumbles.

 

 

“Where the bloody hell did he go?!” Scorpius whispers. We both have our wands out but the attacker vanished as quickly as he appeared.

 

 

“Homenum Revelio” I say, but nothing happens.

 

 

“Should we keep going forward?” Scorpius whispers.

 

 

“Let’s give it another second.” I have no idea what to do.

 

 

“DIFFINDO!” Another wizard jumps out, and this one is closer. I flick my wand and the force of it propels him into the wall where he whacks his head on the concrete.

 

 

“Keep the protection charm up.” I say, and we both run up to the crumpled man on the floor.

 

 

He must be in his seventies. He has a full, brown-coloured beard with grey streaks in it. He’s clasping something in his left hand, the right tightly wrapped around his wand.

 

 

“Check what it is, I’ll cover you.” I say, and Scorpius immediately starts to pry his fingers open.

 

 

“CRUCIATUS!” The first man who we encountered jumps out once more.

 

 

“PROTEGO!” I shout, and he disappears only to reappear a second later, “PETRIFICUS TOTALUS!” He hits the floor before even managing to open his mouth, let alone raising his wand.

 

 

“Found anything?” I say, but I wont risking looking at him.

 

 

“It seems to be some sort of cloaking device. I’m not sure how to work it though.” I can feel him standing up behind me.

 

 

“I’ll just send my patronus to dad, and then I’ll apparate us out.” My Thestral nods after I relayed the message about the device, then trots away towards where we came from.

 

 

“I thought you said that it wasn’t safe.” He steps up close anyway.

 

 

“Safer than staying here.” I wind my arms around him tightly. Destination, determination, deliberation. I breathe in.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Albus!” Molly gasps at the sight of us appearing in her kitchen.

 

 

“Hi!” I rub my hair a bit awkwardly, it’s just that I felt that Molly’s kitchen is so easy to picture, the smells of it and the look of it. Felt like a good place to successfully apparate to.

 

 

“Are you okay?” He seems fine. Thank Merlin.

 

 

“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” He blushes for some reason. Huh.

 

 

“Have you been forcing yourself through wards again, Albus Severus?” Molly tries to look stern, but mostly looks worried.

 

 

“I had to, the headquarter is under attack.” She gasps.

 

 

“What did you say?” Arthur wobbles in a bit unsteadily.

 

 

“Don’t even think about going!” Molly points at him threateningly with her wooden ladle.

 

 

“You two need to protect Scorpius. There’s a high chance that they’re looking for him.” Molly looks at me intently, and then looks at him, which causes him to blush again.

 

 

“And where do you think you’re going?” He frowns at me.

 

 

“I’m going back. They need me.”

 

 

“I’m your mission, Albus! If you go, I go!” He grabs my arm tightly, probably to keep me from apparating.

 

 

“Stupefy.” I let him fall into my arms before lifting him so that I have him in a fireman’s carry, “Wake him up if someone comes.” I step into the sitting room so that I can lay him on the sofa.

 

 

“You be careful now, Albie.” Molly gives me a kiss on the cheek.

 

 

“I will.” I don’t know how many times I’ve told that particular lie.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Bloody hell mate, stop doing that to me.” Hugo hits me on the arm half-heartedly when I pop up next to where he’s crouching behind a desk.

 

 

“They are holding some kind of cloaking device in their wandless hand. I don’t know how it works yet.” I chance a quick look, but of course the room seems empty. I don’t know what I was expecting.

 

 

“Oh yeah? Sounds likely.” He takes a look as well.

 

 

“Any ideas?” That’s why I apparated to Hugo, because he always has plenty of ideas. Sometimes they’re even genius ideas.

 

 

“We could deliberately cause a temporary magic implosion. That could bring them out. And when I say we, I mean you and your nuclear sized magic.” He looks positively giddy about it.

 

 

“But our people would also lose their magic.” I don’t know if it’s a sensible option. Most of Hugo’s ideas are not.

 

 

“Only for a short time. And they would be much better at coping with a sudden magical collapse than a couple of magical supremacists.” He looks at me pleadingly.

 

 

“Let’s send messages to as many as we can first.” I beg.

 

 

“There’s no time. We don’t know how many that’s already fallen.” He grabs my arm and squeezes.

 

 

“What should I do?”

 

 

“Channel mine as well.” He says and takes a hold of my hands in his, both of our wands tightly clasped. I concentrate on the feel of my magic.

 

 

“The words are Magicae Prohibere, you got it?” Hugo says with a manic glint in his eyes. I nod.

 

 

I breathe in, letting my magic fill me up. From the soles of my feet to the tips of my fingers. Letting all of the dampening charms that keeps it in check fall away.

 

 

I breathe out, “Magicae Prohibere!”

 

 

At once it’s like the air stops vibrating, and the constant itch under my skin just stops.

 

 

“This is so weird.” I say.

 

 

“I can’t believe it worked!” Hugo sequels in excitement.

 

 

We smile at each other, and I carefully check the room for dark wizards before standing up.

 

 

“Let’s take them out.” Hugo says.

 

 

 


	19. Knives and nerves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you’ve had a great summer! There’s not many chapters left now, we’re finally reaching the end. I’m going to miss my boys when it’s over. I love them to bits (haha is that a crazy thing to say about your own characters?). 
> 
> Comments makes me so happy! Thank you plucie, camichats, Jennyfer and PRcrazy <3

 

 

 

A single flickering light is trying persistently to keep itself turned on, but the rest of the corridor is shrouded in darkness.

 

 

“Can you hear anything?” Hugo whispers.

 

 

“No. Let’s try to find the others.” We crouch down and walk silently towards the end of it, where the light bulb keeps blinking.

 

 

“Diffindo!” Someone shouts, “Merde!” he shouts again when he realises that the spell won’t work.

 

 

Me and Hugo both turn around and sees a man running towards us at full speed.

 

 

Hugo drops down to tackle his legs and I bring my arm out to slam him in the face. Rule number one regarding physical combat: use your opponents own strength against them. Needless to say, he goes down like he’s taken a bludger to the face.

 

 

“Physical combat is a lot more thrilling than -” A woman grabs Hugo from behind before he can finish his sentence. She puts a knife to his throat.

 

 

“Where’s the seer?” She snarls, and Hugo splutters as her arm squeezes his neck threateningly.

 

 

“He’s not here.” I try to remain calm, “My guess is that he’s probably on the other side of the world right now.”

 

 

“His magical signature is in this building.” She lets her knife drag on Hugo’s throat hard enough to draw blood, “take me to him, or the little one dies.”

 

 

“He would've carried an emergency portkey.” Why on earth wasn’t he carrying an emergency portkey?

 

 

“Do you know? Or are you guessing? Tell me where he is!” Hugo’s face is starting to turn red.

 

 

“I know with absolute certainty that he is not in the building any more. If you let my friend go, I could help you find him.” I’m starting to sweat, Hugo is gasping for breath and I feel so fucking useless without my magic.

 

 

“How about I kill you both? Where is -” SMACK.

 

 

Ron whacks her hard on the head with what looks like a chair leg, “What are you doing here Al? I told you to get Malfoy out!” Hugo takes great, heaving gulps of air.

 

 

“Are you okay?” Uncle Ron gathers Hugo in his arms for a brief hug.

 

 

“I’m fine. Thank you dad.” Hugo croaks.

 

 

“He’s out. I came back to help.” I say.

 

 

“And a fat load of help you’ve been.” Ron scowls, “don’t think I don’t know who’s behind the sudden lack of magic.” He looks at us both.

 

 

“At least they’re not invisible any more.” Hugo says.

 

 

“Some kind of warning would’ve been nice.” He takes the woman’s knife from her slack grip and pockets it, “Let’s find the others.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

At first, it feels like a persistent itch. I try to ignore it for a while but when it starts to crackle underneath my skin like electricity I realise what it is, “The magic is back!”

 

 

“Shit.” Ron says and speeds up.

 

 

We’ve already fought ten of them, but it seems like time has run out. We haven’t seen any of our people. I don’t want to think about what that could mean.

 

 

One of the doors directly in front of us opens, “There you are! Al! What are you doing here?” Dad’s frown lines has never been more pronounced.

 

 

“He’s out. I came back alone.” He peers up and down the length of the corridor.

 

 

“And the magic?” He looks pointedly at Hugo.

 

 

“Already coming back.” Hugo answers.

 

 

“Most of our people was evacuated before the magic disappeared.” Dad scrubs his glasses on his tshirt before continuing, “That stunt of yours could have cost lives.”

 

 

“At least it enabled us to see the bastards.” Ron mutters.

 

 

“I’m sorry. It seemed like a good idea at the time.” I say, embarrassed.

 

 

“CRUCIO!” A spell shoots past me, nearly hitting Uncle Ron but his reflexes have always been good, and he manages a protego in time.

 

 

“Stupefy! Incarcerous!” Dad moves quickly but the attacker moves away just in time.

 

 

“Crucio.” Someone snuck up behind us. That’s all I seem to register before my whole body spasms and I fall to the floor. The pain is blinding. It’s like it comes in waves, you think that it couldn’t possible get any worse. And then it does.

 

 

I blink in what feels like slow motion, and some part of my brain registers the colour of the killing curse. Oh please. Please be something else.

 

 

“ALBUS!” My dads eyes are the same colour as the killing curse. Mine must be as well. Huh. I’ve never noticed that before.

 

 

“Albus! Are you okay?” It sounds like he is speaking inside a bucket, “Albus! Can you hear me?!”

 

 

“What happened? Killing curse?” I force my throat to form the words, and they feel like sandpaper. I’ve probably been screaming.

 

 

“Missed.” Dad takes my hand to help me stand up, “We have to go.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“Hermione came back an hour ago and woke him up.” Molly wipes her hands on her apron, “He’s not happy.”

 

 

I snort, “I’m not surprised.”

 

 

“He’s still in the sitting room.” She looks a bit wary.

 

 

I grab myself a glass of water to buy some time. Molly chuckles.

 

 

“You’ve got a bit of blood on your sleeve dear.” She grabs my arm and puts it in the sink, under the cold, running water, “The others?” She asks, and her voice wobbles a bit.

 

 

“I don’t know. Ron and Hugo are fine though.” She takes a deep breath.

 

 

“Good. Great.” She wraps my wet sleeve in a kitchen towel, “You should go and explain things to your boyfriend.”

 

 

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I say reflexively.

 

 

“Whatever you say.” She smirks, “You should bring him around more often, preferably conscious.”

 

 

I duck my head, trying to hide my blush, and my walk out of the kitchen is accompanied by Mollys giggles. I can’t help but smile.

 

 

When I ascend the stairs I hear how the sitting room falls silent. Shit.

 

 

“Albus! Forced unconsciousness means unstoppable visions! You’re such a fucking nitwit!” Scorpius has been working up to this for a while, judging by how pronounced the veins on his forehead are.

 

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” I truly didn’t.

 

 

“Your boundless idiocy is not an excuse! You STUPEFIED me!” He picks up a book from the side table and throws it at me. I dodge it just in time.

 

 

“I wanted to protect you.” I raise my hands in a gesture of surrender. Hermione rushes past me to get out of the room.

 

 

“By rendering me unconscious?!” He moves two steps closer, “You’re such a moron! Never, EVER do something like that again!”

 

 

“I’m so sorry love.” I am. I am sorry. I didn’t think about the fact that it could cause unstoppable visions.

 

 

“Don’t use that word.” He closes his eyes.

 

 

“I shouldn’t have stupefied you. I’m truly, very sorry.”

 

 

“Your saviour complex is driving me insane. I’m so fucking -” He gasps and closes the distance between us to unfold the kitchen towel wrapped around my arm, “What happened?”

 

 

“It’s not my blood.” He rolls up my sleeve to check for himself.

 

 

“You’re shaking.” He looks up, his eyes searching.

 

 

“My nerves are shot.” I say, hoping that he’ll think it’s fear.

 

 

“Cruciatus curse?” He frowns, still holding my arm tightly.

 

 

“Unfortunately.” I cringe. I didn’t want to tell him.

 

 

“For Merlins sake, why aren’t you sitting down?” He drags me over to the sofa, and we both sit down.

 

 

“I was too busy getting yelled at.” I smile at his scowling face. Adorable.

 

 

“I’m still mad at you.” His hand is still gripping my arm though.

 

 

“Wouldn’t expect any less.”

 

 

The flu lights up, “Cory! I’ve been looking everywhere for you!” Marcel looks relieved, and Scorpius takes his hand away from my arm. Shit.

 

 

“I was evacuated.” He blushes, “Are you okay?”

 

 

“Yes, yes, I’m fine. The evacuation was a bit intense. It felt like we were being herded like cattle. I’m sure they treated you better, being an important person and all.” He tries to brush the ash from his sweater, failing to see Scorpius frown at his assumptions.

 

 

“Someone must’ve lowered the wards from the inside.” I say, a bit pointedly.

 

 

He looks up sharply, “And your first instinct is to accuse me of betrayal? Is it because I’m French?” He practically spits out that last part.

 

 

“Stop it! Both of you!” Scorpius stands up and moves towards him, probably to placate him. It hurts regardless of why he does it.

 

 

“You should put a leash on your miniature Potter.” He says.

 

 

“Stop it!” Scorpius scowls.

 

 

“I should go. You can yell at me later.” I stand up, fighting the unsteadiness for a moment before making my way towards the fireplace.

 

 

He grabs my henley for the second time tonight. Reels me in and plants a gentle kiss on my mouth. The wobbliness of my limbs returns with a vengeance.

 

 

“I’m still angry.” He says afterwards, and I smile at him.

 

 

“Wouldn’t expect any less.” I step into the fire. It took all of my self control not to rub my smugness in Marcels face.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	20. Swarms and Storms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, I think this was my slowest update yet. Sorry for being extremely late. Things happened in real life (unfortunately). You wanna know something fantastic though? This fic is almost finished! It’s crazy to think that I’ve been writing this for over a year now ← I might be the slowest writer ever. Cyber-hugs and pictures of adorable pugs to PRcrazy, lovistomz, camichats, Olivea and Miista <3 Thank you for commenting, it really means a lot.
> 
>  
> 
> WARNING: War-related casualties, deaths and violence

 

 

 

“Hello?” I step out of the fire place. Sometimes it takes a while for Gabe to come to the floo. Usually because he’s busy wanking.

 

“Just a minute!” I hear him yell.

 

“Are you naked? Wanking?” His dad is always away. For the most part, Gabe has the house to himself.

 

“Coming!” He sounds irritable.

 

“That’s usually what happens when you wank, Gabe.” I smirk. I love riling him up.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Rose walks out from his bedroom like she owns the place. And she’s only wearing a sheet.

 

“MY EYES! My poor innocent eyes!” I’m actually quite traumatised by this.

 

“Shut up.” She says and grabs some juice from the fridge, drinking straight from the carton.

 

“Use a glass you heathen!” I glare at her.

 

“Albus!” Gabe opens his arms to give me a hug, which I expertly avoid.

 

“I don’t want any kind of fluids from my own cousin on my person, thank you very much!” He laughs and Rose snorts into her carton.

 

“I’m so glad you’re okay.” He says.

 

“I’m fine.” I smile at him. It really feels like Penny and Gabe are my real family.

 

“Why are you here?” Rose asks again, probably angry about being interrupted mid coitus.

 

“I can’t go back to my room at the headquarter, for obvious reasons. And Penny’s mum doesn’t really like me, so I can’t go there.” I shrug.

 

“What about Ginny?” She frowns.

 

“I don’t think she wants to see me...... I’m not sure that I want to see her.” I clear my throat, to keep it from clogging.

 

“Oh Albus!” Rose puts down her carton, “I’m sure it’s not as bad as that.”

 

“Rose, don’t defend her.” Gabe says.

 

“So. Anyway. I guess you’re stuck with me.” I smile, but I’m sure it looks more like a grimace.

 

“I’m glad you’re here.” Gabe tugs me in for a hug, and this time I don’t resist it.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

We’re in the middle of a “My so called life” - binge when dads stag patronus shows up, “Emergency meeting at The Burrow. Send your patronus to your friends.”

 

We look at each other in silent despair. Could this be it? Is it time to face them? I feel bad for them, they must’ve had a lot of these scares during the months that I’ve been travelling through time.

 

“I’m not wearing any shoes. Let me just get my shoes.” Gabe shoots up from where he was slumped on the couch. He looks terrified.

 

“Shit.” Rose ties her hair up, “Bloody Dans. Wouldn’t kill them to take a day off, you know?” She doesn’t look scared at all. I suppose she must be used to it by now.

 

“You ready?” She looks at me a bit sceptically, I don’t know if this is one of my ‘blank’ looks or if I look as weary as I feel.

 

“Shoes! I’m wearing them!” Gabe shouts as he’s running back to us.

 

All three of us goes to stand in front of the floo.

 

“Here goes nothing.” I say.

 

“Stop it with the dejected attitude.” I hear Rose answer, before the floo sweeps me away.

 

The Weasleys sitting room is more crowded than usual, I notice when I step away from the floo. We must’ve arrived later than most. I suddenly remember to send my Patronus to Penny, and try to do it discreetly in the corner of the room.

 

“Albus!” Scorpius shouts to get my attention, and the attention of everyone else, regrettably.

 

“You called, master?” I smirk at his responding blush.

 

“This is not the time for jokes.” He whispers, embarrassed but also amused, judging by the slight smile that he tries to repress.

 

“We are going to face them head on. They’ve attacked a village near the west coast, and our sources tells us that there's almost 9000 of them. It must be most of them, if not all.” He looks hopeful.

 

“9000 dark wizards? What if they’re invisible?” I don’t feel hopeful at all.

 

“Oh Hermione modified a Secrecy Sensor that renders their little gadgets obsolete.” He smirks, “We managed to collect some of their devices from the headquarters. It seems like they were using some sort of updated Reflexive Rock. Even if they manage to destroy the sensor, the rocks won’t work in daylight. If you hold the rock against your bare skin it will reflect the area surrounding the wizard on the wizard. It’s much easier to appear invisible indoors with minimal lighting.”

 

“Even if they are fully visible, 9000 dark wizards won’t be an easy fight.” I say.

 

“I know.” He grabs my hand and squeezes it for a moment.

 

“Where’s Marcel?” I know I shouldn’t have asked, but I can’t help myself.

 

He frowns, “He’s in France to inform the resistance of our plan.”

 

“Oh. Of course.” He lets go of my hand as I splutter the words.

 

We stand in silence for a couple of agonizing seconds, watching the chaos of our friends and family preparing for battle.

 

“What have you seen?” I ask him. And immediately I feel like I shouldn’t have.

 

“I haven’t been having visions about the war for quite some time now.” He sighs crestfallenly.

 

“What could that mean?” I want to take his hand in mine but I’m not sure if I’m allowed.

 

“Probably that it will be over soon. Hopefully.” He shrugs. He doesn’t seem very sure.

 

“What did you see when I stupefied you?” Shit. I just keep putting my foot in it, don’t I?

 

“Something else.” He walks away to talk to his father that just arrived via floo.

 

I really hope I didn’t fuck this up by talking to him. Conversations with him is like navigating a mine field. And I’m fully aware of the fact that I’m a bit of a hippogriff in a china shop when it comes to social interaction.

 

“Listen up! It’s time for us to move out! We will constitute the first wave of attack. I’ve been reassured that backup from France will arrive in exactly 30 minutes, so we need to keep them occupied until then. The Aurors, the Unspeakables and the witches and wizards that went to any of the preparation camps have already been summoned.” Dad clears his throat and runs his hand through his hair, “This is the end of the line for some of us. Let’s try to focus on saving as many lives as possible.”

 

Hermione steps forward to address the room, “There are portkeys on the table, but if you are able to apparate and side-along, please do. Unfortunately, there’s not enough portkeys for everyone. Grab a portkey from the sofa,” She points to the green sofa in the corner that currently holds an abundance of knick-knacks, “and use that portkey if you are seriously injured, or give it to someone who is. It will take you straight to St Mungo’s. We leave in exactly one minute.” The room erupts in chaos.

 

“Al!” Penny takes a hold of my jumper, “Where is Gabe?”

 

We both turn to look for him. The amount of movement makes it hard to see anything.

 

“Take a portkey!” Gabe turns up behind us and thrusts a bottle cap and a mitten to our chests, “it’s for St Mungo’s. You can apparate us both, right?” He asks me.

 

“Yes.” I press them to me tightly.

 

Please Merlin let them be okay. Whatever happens, let them get out of this alive.

 

We are swallowed by darkness.

 

 

“AVADA KEDAVRA”

 

I throw myself on them and crash us to the ground.

 

“I’m going to be sick.” Gabe says, before promptly throwing up on the grass. Penny already managed to cast the shield charm over us.

 

“Stick with me. Do you need me to hit you with a ennervate?” It’s inadvisable to cast ennervate at someone in shock, but it’s the only thing we can do, except for sending him to St Mungo’s.

 

“Yes!” He gasps out and Penny proceeds to.

 

I try to get my bearing but it’s so hard to focus on anything when there’s so many people running around. The Dans seem to be wearing black cloaks. That’s good, it makes it easier to identify them.

 

“IT’S POTTER!” Someone to my right screams, and I see a group of them move closer, hitting the shield with various spells, but nothing penetrating. Yet.

 

“Listen to me. You need to apparate to the other side of the clearing. Do it now.” I say to Penny.

 

I hear Gabes ‘NO’ before Penny manages to apparate them. But she does.

 

I stand up. They come closer

 

“Put your wand down and we won’t kill you.” A man with a gravely voice says, and a couple of them laughs.

 

“Put your wands down and I’ll try not to blow you up.” I answer, and my voice is steady, but my legs are shaking. I let the dampening charms fall away as I focus on calling my magic. The shield charm that protects me starts to falter.

 

As I let my magic fill me, I see that some of them hesitate in their steps. Good. Let them feel it.

 

The second that the shield charm drops, I push my magic towards them.

 

It feels like it burns through me, through my fingers. It feels good. Like instant relief, it feels like freedom.

 

The closest twenty of them fall, “Incarcerous!” I shout, before any of them gets their bearings.

 

The people behind them seem a bit more reluctant to get close, but starts to fire off curses from a distance.

 

My protection charm is still solid, but I feel a slight dip in my magical core after the shock wave I managed to conjure. I need to stick to spoken spells for a while.

 

“Tentaclifors!” Someone shouts, and the protection spell wobbles.

 

They seem to be summoning more and more people to take me down. I’m trying hard to not overexert my magic, preserving most of it so that I’ll be ready when they attack in greater numbers. And they will.

 

“Petrificus Totalus!” The closest one falls, “Confringo!” I try to create a ditch in front of me, to keep them from getting too close.

 

But their numbers are growing in an alarming rate.

 

A couple of more minutes and I can let lose, I just need them to get a little bit closer so that I can take them down without getting swamped by the ones who weren’t close enough.

 

“CRUCIO!” I hear someone scream, “AVADA KEDAVRA!” I duck and roll, the curse misses by a couple of inches.

 

There are too many of them.

 

“ON YOUR LEFT!” Hugo bellows, somehow getting through the swarm of dark wizards seemingly unharmed. Must be a fortified protego of some sort. Impressive.

 

His wand is producing a violent firestorm, and he directs most of it towards the ditch that I managed to carve with my exploding spell.

 

“Started without me huh?” His smile looks more like insanity than happiness.

 

“I’m glad you came.” I smile right back, even though I feel like puking.

 

He takes a stand behind me, so that we’re back to back, and starts sprouting his fire at the wizards who managed to get up the small hill that keeps most of them attacking from other directions.

 

There’s something about elemental magic that’s slightly addictive. His fire is somehow making me feel more connected to my surroundings. The earth, the air.

 

The Dans are growing in numbers, there must be at least forty coming straight at me, and that’s not even counting on the ones that Hugo is dealing with.

 

I cast another protection charm over Hugo, and then one more over myself, before closing my eyes. The fog is hanging thick over us, the distant rumble of thunder can be heard even though the screams and the explosions form a constant deafening blanket of sound. I concentrate on the feel of the storm, on letting my magic reach out to touch the electricity of it.

 

I let it fill me up.

 

The magic in me thrives on it, the sheer force of it, the vibrancy of it’s texture. I can taste the storm in my mouth, feel it crackling under my skin.

 

I open my eyes.

 

I’m surprised to find my body levitating quite a few feet over the ground, not exactly flying, more like suspended in mid air by the static of the storm.

 

Some of the dark wizards below me are staring at me in shock, others are running in the other direction. But most of them are firing curses towards me, screaming for backup and some seem to be linking their magic to make the hexes stronger.

 

I let my magic channel the storm, I let it consume me.

 

“HUGO! GET OUT!” I shout, suddenly struck by the realisation that the protection charm he has isn’t going to be enough. It’s like my blood is on fire.

 

I see him disappear, probably used his portkey for this one. Thank Merlin for that.

 

I breathe in, and let it out.

 

The light of it is blinding, the warmth of it is scalding. I try to force it out of my hands, try to aim the brunt of it towards the attacking Dans, but I’m not entirely in control of it.

 

It stops, but I didn’t stop it. My body hits the ground with a worrying “WHACK”.

 

Everything hurts. I open my eyes but I can’t see anything, it’s all just white.

 

I try to cast another protection charm but my voice breaks. The sharpness of the pain that engulfs my body, and the fact that I can’t see anything, makes me consider the portkey in my pocket. But I don’t want to leave without the rest of them.

 

I blink a couple of times, clear my throat twice.

 

“ALBUS!” I hear Rose shout, and the ringing of my ears that her voice manages to temporarily drown is another problem.

 

I blink again, and the whiteness of my vision seems to be receding a bit.

 

“You absolute lunatic!” Rose grabs my shoulders and shakes them.

 

I clear my voice again, “Rrrr...” I try to say her name but it feels like my throat is filled with sand.

 

“Aguamenti.” Rose says, and water pours down on my parched lips. I open them eagerly. I take a few huge gulps.

 

“It’s my eyes, I can’t….,” I have to clear my throat again, “I can’t see.”

 

“You fucking idiot!” She scolds, but she sound really close to tears.

 

“Sorry.” I say, but I don’t really know how I could’ve done anything differently. There were just too many of them.

 

“Shit. I don’t know how to fix it!” Rose cries, “I don’t know what to do!”

 

“It’s okay Rosie,” I say, even though it doesn’t feel okay at all, “I think it’s just temporary.” I really hope it is.

 

“You should use your portkey.” She says, and I hear her trying to regain her composure.

 

“I can’t leave you.”

 

“Well you’re not going to be of any use if you can’t see anything.” She gently runs her fingers down my cheeks, “Stop being a stubborn brat and just grab the fucking portkey.”

 

“Rosie! Is he alive?!” I hear aunt Hermione shout.

 

“Yes! We need help!” She answers.

 

Hermione sounds out of breath when she sits down beside us, “What’s the damage?” She sounds slightly hysterical and very stern.

 

“There’s like a white fog obscuring my vision.” I say, but it feels like my description of the symptoms are inadequate.

 

“Any pain?” She says, taking a hold of my chin, probably to peer into my eyes.

 

“Not in my eyes.” I blink a couple of times, “Except for a slight discomfort due to the brightness of the white.”

 

“You should use your portkey.” Hermione says, but it sounds like she doesn’t believe that I will. She wasn’t called the brightest witch of her age for nothing.

 

“What can you do? Is there anything you could do to fix it?” I ask.

 

“I could restore your vision temporarily, but you really should consider going to St Mungo's.” She sighs, sounding defeated already.

 

“Do what you can.” Rose grabs a hold of my hand, and I try to take a deep breath. I don’t know if it’ll hurt or not, but I have a feeling that it won’t be pleasant. Magical mending seldom is.

 

“Close your eyes.” Hermione says, and I try hard to keep myself from shaking.

 

She’s saying the incantation, whispering words that I can’t make out, whilst Rose squeezes my hand. It stings, but not overly so.

 

“You can open them.” Hermione says, and I hasten to comply.

 

Seeing their worried faces makes my heart skip, I’m so relieved I could cry.

 

But the second thing that I see is the sheer devastation my magic is capable of.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	21. Martyrs of the Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope someone is still reading this! I want to say thank you to all of you who leave kudos, and thank you camichats (or have you changed your name now?), minikitty7, Tonks914, Yereanth16, Jennyfer and littlecherrya for commenting. It means a lot! 
> 
> WARNING: There’s a war going on. So you know, things are going to be violent. And also death, injuries and other stuff related to war and duelling.

 

  


“Was it….” Even though I know that it was me, I need to hear it, “Did I do this?”

  


“You saved Hugos life. You would’ve died if you’d done nothing. There were too many of them.” Hermione says.

  


Dread spreads through my veins as I clench my hands around the scorched dirt of the ground beneath me.

  


I know that they’re dead. The ones that didn’t apparate away in time. A part of me feels grateful about the absence of bodies, that I won’t have to face the bloodied reality of what I’ve done. The ashes are enough to make me sick to my stomach.

  


“We have to get back to the fight. None of them noticed that you’re still alive, but it won’t be long before they do.” Rose tells me.

  


“I-” I start to say, “I-”

  


“Expelliarmus.” Someone behinds Hermione growls, and the unexpectedness of it makes all three of us jolt. Our wands leave our hands abruptly.

  


Hermione shoots up, kneeing the man in the groin with all her considerable strength. He crumples to ground and Rose grabs our wands from the man’s slackened grip.

  


“Don’t let them catch you unaware again.” Hermione says, before apparating away.

  


“Are you sure that you’re okay?” Rose takes my shaking hand and eyes it doubtfully.

  


“I’m not portkeying to St Mungo's.” I say.

  


“If you die, I’m going to be so pissed.” She threatens.

  


“Good luck Rosie.” I reel her in for a quick hug, “Take care of Gabe if I die.”

  


“Shut up.” And with those parting words she apparates.

  


  


* * *

  


  


Something sticky is running down my face and I don’t know if it’s sweat or blood. Probably blood, I took a hard hit to the head a couple of hours ago. Or, it feels like hours ago, but I’ve lost track of time.

  


The constant duelling is making me lose my focus. At first, the fear and adrenaline made me super aware of my surroundings, but now it’s making me feel more numb. I saw Ron not long ago, and he was kind enough to hit me with an ennervate before the Dans forced us apart.

  


I wipe my face with my sleeve before it gets in my eyes. They still sting a bit.

  


I’m in the middle of chanting a more complicated protection spell when Penny apparates practically on top of me, “Scorpius is having a vision,” She pants, “He’s surrounded. We need help.”

  


“Where?!” I shout, before I can even register her words properly.

  


“I’ll side you.” She answers, grabbing my arm in a crushing grip.

  


The world swirls in black and it’s rougher than usual. She must be exhausted.

  


And then we pop up in another corner of the battlefield, and I don’t register anything other than Scorpius’ crumpled form on the ground. It’s like my vision zooms in on him as soon as I land.

  


I feel like screaming, but instead I fight my way to him with a viciousness I didn’t know I was capable of. Nothing matters except for reaching him. Nothing.

  


Some part of me registers that Penny follows me, sticking close to my back. Protecting me like she always does. She’s a fierce fighter.

  


Gabe is in front of us, standing over Scorpius’ twitching body and slashing his wand frantically to keep the Dans from getting to him. It won’t be long until they come for him in greater numbers.

  


I push harder, move faster.

  


“Thank Merlin you’re here!” Gabe gasps when we finally reach him. It felt like minutes but must’ve been more like seconds.

  


“Stand back!” I shout, and focus everything I have on putting up a protection spell. It shoots out from my wand like an umbrella at first, but soon covers all four of us like a dome. As soon as it covers us, Gabe drops down to check on Scorpius. I have to keep the Dans at a distance, so I stay in front of them, firing spells before I can even think about what kind of spells they are. I need to keep them safe, that’s what matters.

  


“Here they come!” Penny shouts from my left, and when I glance over to her side I see them. There’s a lot of them, but not as many as before I allowed myself to become a human lightening rod.

  


“We can take them!” I answer. I want to comfort her but I suspect that she knows that I don’t even believe it myself.

  


“Why can’t we take him to St Mungo’s?” I ask Gabe, before firing off a ‘Reducto’ on the trees to the left of us.

  


“We don’t have any portkeys left.” Gabe answers, and then adds, “Yours?”

  


“Gone!” I slapped it to the chest of a young man who must’ve been hit with a severing charm, his left leg was missing.

  


“Is he still under?” I shout.

  


“Yes! And I can’t wake him.” Gabe is starting to sound slightly hysterical, “You need to bring him out of it, but Penny and I can’t keep them off him without you.”

  


“Sweetheart, you need to focus. Give him a couple of minutes and if he won’t wake up we’ll solve it together, okay?” Penny says, and she tries to say it calmly but it sounds forced. And I can hear Gabe trying to pull himself together but his breathing is erratic.

  


“Get up here!” I shout, and he gets up immediately.

  


I grab his wand hand and redirects my magic through him. Penny catches on to what I’m trying to do without a seconds delay, and grabs Gabes free hand to link our magic together.

  


“Breathe with me.” I say to Gabe and he nods, already calmer because of our combined magic. “Keep your wand steady and everything will be fine.” He nods again.

  


“Penny, focus on keeping them away. I’ll keep the shield up through Gabe.” I try to reach Scorpius, but he’s just a little too far away. “We need to take a couple of steps backwards. Together, okay?” I say, and they both nod.

  


“One,” Penny shouts and all three of us takes a step backwards, “two,” Another one, and the connected magic is still flowing through us without hiccups, “three!”. My hand reaches Scorpius calf.

  


And the situation must make my magic a bit explosive because Scorpius reacts like he’s being electrocuted. He opens his mouth to take a deep breath, and he sucks in the air likes he’s drowning.

  


“Albus!” He gasps, “They’re trying to keep us here until the moon rises so that the werewolves can shift!”

  


“Al we need you!” Penny shouts.

  


“Send your patronus to your father, tell him to warn the others.” Scorpius nods and I stand up to help Penny and Gabe.

  


“Scorpius?!” I don’t want to turn around and leave us defenceless, but I can’t hear him or see him. I block a nasty curse and Penny almost gets hit with something, “SCORPIUS!” I try again, and still no answer.

  


“I’ll check” Gabe moves so that he’s back to back with me, and then immediately proceeds to turn back around to help us fight the frankly staggering amount of incoming hexes, “He’s passed out again,” he gasps as he’s grazed by a splinter from a nearby exploding tree, “I don’t know if it’s a vision or not.”

  


“SHIT!” Penny shouts.

  


“I need to check.” I try to infuse some extra magic into the protection spell, “I need to.”

  


“Fucking shit!” Penny snarls, “We wont be able to handle them without you!”

  


Gabes blood is running down his arm, and even though Penny looks like a force of nature I know she’s exhausted, “I can’t think!”, I shout, feeling the hopelessness of it consume me. It looks like the Dans numbers are growing exponentially, no matter how many we bring down.

  


“So nothing new on this end I hear.” Rose pops up a few feet behind us.

  


“They’re trying to stall us so that we’ll still be here when the moon rises. Werewolves.” Gabe seems to relax a smidgeon at the sound of her voice.

  


“I heard.” She wields her wand effortlessly, and the closest two drop to the ground, “Harry is trying to end it.”

  


“I need to check on Scorpius,” Fear and worry is making my magic sloppy, “You think you can help us get some kind of short pause? Any offensive strategies?”

  


“Yeah sure, let me just get my time turner,” She snorts.

  


“Don’t joke about it,” Gabe says, “He’s seconds away from a meltdown.”

  


“I’m worried!” I shout, and my next spell sets fire to the bushes in front of us. Which would be fine, except that the spell had nothing to do with fire, “Okay, maybe I’m beyond worried.”

  


“Ventus tria!” Rose shouts, and a strong wind shoots out of her wand and spreads the fire from the flaming bushes towards the closest Dans, “Wow, Hugo would love this.” She looks as surprised at the outcome as we do.

  


At once I throw myself down to where Scorpius is lying, and the stillness of his body frightens me, “Scorpius!” I grab his shoulders to give him a little shake.

  


He doesn’t react at all.

  


“SCORPIUS!” I can’t help that I’m screaming, I just want him to wake up.

  


“He wont wake up!” I don’t know what to do.

  


“You need to get him to St Mungo’s! You’re the only one who can side-along someone that far!” Rose barks, with all the authority she can muster.

  


“What about you?!” I need to save him but I don’t want to leave them.

  


“We’ll be fine, we’re spreading the fire. That’s some potent flames you conjured Al, they can’t seem to put it out.” Gabe tries to sound assertive, but his voice wobbles a bit.

  


“I’ll come back as soon as I can.” I gather Scorpius close, I need to apparate before I can second guess this.

  


My fatigue is severe and I hope to Merlin this goes well. I breathe in. Destination, determination, deliberation. I breathe out.

  


And we’re being squeezed by darkness.

  


 

* * *

  


  


The hospital felt as hectic as the battlefield. But I managed to get him looked at by the Healers at the emergency ward pretty quickly. Straight away they levitated him out of the reception area and told me not to follow.

  


So I thought I would go back, but my magic seems depleted. I tried to apparate as soon as I got out from the hospital but nothing happened.

  


POP. Another injured person turns up.

  


“Hey! Wait!” I feel bad for stopping him, but it could be the only way, “Did you get here by portkey?”

  


“Yes?” His voice is strained but clear.

  


“Could I have it? I need to get back, and I want to try reversing it.”

  


“Good luck with that.” He snorts, but he throws a small plastic car at me. I catch it with my left hand, and only then do I realise that I’m still clutching my wand in my right hand as tightly as ever. I’ll probably never let go of it, even after this whole thing blows over. If I’m still alive for that.

  


“Thank you.” I say, and he answers gruffly with, “Your funeral.”

  


It doesn’t take me more than a couple of minutes to reverse it, but my magic is still weak. I push it against my chest, where the magic is said to be strongest, and close my eyes.

  


Please work.

  


The tug in my stomach starts, and the relief I feel is enough to make my eyes tear up.

  


 

* * *

  


  


I arrive at another part of the field, and I spot my dad not far from where I landed. He’s surrounded by the Dans, but there is a couple of Aurors with him.

  


A part of me wants to stay with him, I can’t help but worry about him, but I know that Penny, Rose and Gabe needs me more than he does.

  


I concentrate on Penny’s magic, the strongest signature of the three, and breathe in, holding the feeling of her magic inside me. I must apparate, but I’m not sure my magic has recovered enough.

  


“Al!” My eyes fly open, I wasn’t aware that they were shut. James is standing a couple of feet away, bloody and exhausted. I’ve never been so glad to see him in my life.

  


“James! I’m so glad that you’re alright.” We reach for each other at the same time, and he reels me in for a brief embrace, “You look bloody awful.” He says.

  


“I’m looking for Penny, Gabe and Rose. Have you seen them? I could apparate, but my magic is a bit depleted at the moment.” He wipes my face with his shirt.

  


“If I knew where they were I could’ve sided you.” He says.

  


“I kind of left them in the middle of a forest fire, but I hope that they’ve moved somewhere else.” I move his shirt collar to the side to look at the bleeding gash on his neck. It looks superficial, thank Merlin.

  


“I have a broom in my back pocket if you want to look for them.” He turns toward where dad is fighting, “I need to get back but dad says that we have to get out of here before the moon rises, they’re going to put an anti-apparition net over the whole area.”

  


“Scorpius saw it. There’s werewolves in the Dans.” I say, “I think I need to try apparating, but thank you for the offer.”

  


“Take it, just in case.” He gives me the shrunken broom, and I put it in my pocket reluctantly. He looks at me, and opens his mouth to say something more, but doesn't.

  


“Good luck Jamie. Don’t do anything stupid.” I say.

  


He puts his hands around my face, “You too, little brother.” And then he smiles at me, which I can’t remember him ever doing before, maybe when we were children, but not since. And he turns and runs towards my dad.

  


I breathe in, focus on Penny’s signature, and apparate.

  


  


* * *

  


  


I appear at the edge of a clearing, and there seems to be less Dans here, at least at first glance.

  


“Penny?” I can’t see them, but I don’t want to risk drawing attention to myself, or them, by raising my voice.

  


Someone grabs my arm and drags me closer to the trees. There must be a notice-me-not in place, because now I can see that Rose is the one who’s grabbing my arm, but I didn’t see her approach me.

  


“Gabe is hurt.” She whispers, “Took a severing curse to the arm, but it’s still attached. We managed to stop the bleeding.”

  


“James gave me a broom, one of you needs to get him to St. Mungo's.” I can’t side-along him that kind of distance so soon after Scorpius. My magic is still barely functioning.

  


“I’ll take him.” Both Penny and Rose say at the same time.

  


“You’ll take him.” Penny says to Rose and she nods.

  


“Gabe sweetie, you have to see a healer okay? Rose is going to take you to St. Mungo’s.” He looks pale as a sheet and doesn’t seem to understand what I’m saying. My stomach clenches worryingly.

  


Rose is busy unshrinking the broom. Me and Penny carefully pulls Gabe up from the ground so that we can bind him to Roses’ back.

  


“Is he securely fastened?” Rose barks, already hovering a feet above the ground.

  


“Yes, go.” Penny says, “Hurry.” I think we’re all on the verge of tears.

  


“He’s going to be fine. Rose is an excellent flyer.” Penny says.

  


“I wasn’t here to protect him.” I answer.

  


“You can’t be everywhere at once. Do you blame me for not protecting him, even though I was with him?” She smacks my arm half-heartedly.

  


“Of course not. But -”

  


“But nothing. You can’t save everyone all the time. You’re not a God.” She takes a shaky breath, “And besides, he’s going to be fine.” She looks at me imploringly, wanting reassurance.

  


“They’re going to fix him right up.”

  


She slaps me on the back, “Okay then, let’s fight.”

 

  


* * *

  


  


“AL! WE HAVE TO LEAVE!” Penny screams, casting and shielding like a maniac.

  


“They’re too close, if we both apparate they’re going to grab hold of the apparition-trail and follow us.” I look up towards the sky, there’s probably only ten or twenty minutes left before the moon rises, “You have to go, and I’ll keep them off you.”

  


“There’s no time for your fucking martyr-complex, Al! If they follow us we’ll just have to fight them somewhere else!”

  


“And if some of them are werewolves? What then?” I strengthen the defensive shield around us, but soon that won’t be enough. I can feel it crumbling, “There’s no time, Penny, you have to go! I’ll get out later, I promise.”

  


“Fucking shit this is a disaster! I love you, you fucking moron! You better get out!” And thank Merlin, that’s the last thing she says before apparating.

  


A couple of them tries to grab on to her apparition-trail, but my magic manages to push them back. I don’t even know what kind of spells I use anymore, it’s like my magic has a mind of it’s own.

  


I try to create some distance between me and the Dans, I need a couple of extra feet before I can apparate without the risk of them following me. And even if I manage to push them back, there’s no guarantee that one or several are fast enough to grab on anyway.

  


So I need to apparate somewhere where the others won’t be, if I’m followed.

  


And I can’t apparate very far, my magic is unstable enough as it is. Death by splinching would be a horrible way to go.

  


I push and push but they keep coming.

  


Something hits me in the leg, and for a second it feels like I’m going to collapse.

  


It stings like a bitch, whatever it is.

  


I need to focus but it feels more and more like an impossibility.

  


“DIFFINDO!” Someone shouts, and I’m hit again. It doesn’t hit me straight on, but my leg is already damaged, and I feel it give out.

  


This is it.

  


“AL!” I hear Scorpius shout, and can’t help but smile. If that’s the last thing my mind conjures, it’s not a bad way to go.

  


But then it feels like my foot gets trapped in a vice of some sort, and I’m engulfed in darkness.

 

 

 


	22. Waking up and giving in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Late again! And only two or three chapters left, which makes me a bit sad (try devastated) but it feels good to be able to start working on other projects soon. 
> 
> The kudos keeps me going and the comments makes me a very happy cat. Much love to Tonks914, Marmaid, ShippingEverything and ryanchokr <3<3<3 
> 
> WARNING: Very detailed descriptions of sex ahead.

  
“Can you hear me?”

 

I try to open my eyes but the stinging is back with a vengeance.

 

“Scorpius?” I say, and it sounds like I’ve been chewing rocks. More of a grunt than a word.

 

“Yes, it’s me. You’re safe. Penny and Gabe are safe.”

 

“My eyes?” I’m dreading the answer but I have to know.

 

“They’re going to be fine. But you have to rest, and keep them closed. I’ve dosed them with a healing potion and they need time to recover.” I feel his hand stroking the back of my hand, and I turn it so that he can slot our fingers together.

 

“How are you feeling? Are you okay?” I relish the feeling of his hand in mine.

 

“Yes, thanks to you. They were repressing my visions by adding sense-depriving-potions to my food, and we still don’t know how they managed that. They wore off during the battle, that’s why my visions were so intense.”

 

“But you’re okay now?” I squeeze his hand gently but insistently, remembering the mind-numbing fear that suffused my entire being as I held him and couldn’t wake him.

 

“I would’ve been a lot better if it wasn’t for the fact that I saw you die because of your fucking hero-complex. Thank Merlin I got to you in time. What were you thinking staying behind like that?” He sounds furious but he is still holding my hand.

 

“I tried to keep them from following Penny.” I say, and it causes me to have a coughing fit.

 

“You were being an idiot by putting yourself in danger like that.” He sighs, “But I guess I can scold you for being reckless tomorrow. For now, you must rest.”

 

“Stay.” I ask him, before succumbing to the weight of my exhaustion.

 

 

* * *

 

  
There’s a warmth plastered to the front of my torso.

 

It was such a long time ago that I felt warmth like this. It’s so pleasant. My hands travel down the length of something soft and warm. I blink sleepily, and the soft sound of someone breathing deeply registers slowly to my tired mind.

 

“Good morning.” When I get my eyes fully open, I’m greeted with the marvellous sight of a rumpled Scorpius smiling coyly at me. His eyes are crinkled and his hair is like a wild cloud of frizz. He’s beyond gorgeous.

 

“Good morning.” I answer, a little unsure about what kind of interaction the situations demands. I’ve only ever woken up with Penny and Gabe before.

 

“How are your eyes feeling?” He strokes my left cheekbone gently with his fingers. It feels like I’m still dreaming.

 

“They’re much better, thank you.” He removes his fingers and it feels like my skin is empty now, I miss them acutely.

 

“You must be starving, the battle lasted almost eleven hours.” He smiles again, and my stomach growls in answer.

 

“Let’s have breakfast, yeah?” He stands up and I get a good look at his adorable pyjamas. It’s pale blue and silk, and clings to his arse devastatingly.

 

I notice that I’m still in my clothes from yesterday, but he seems to have scourgified them thoroughly. I remember the blood stains from yesterday and feel sick. Even though they’re not there anymore I still feel them.

 

“Could I maybe have a shower? Are there any clothes I could borrow?” I must look pretty disgusting because he almost runs to his wardrobe.

 

“Yes, yes of course. There’s an on suite through that door,” He says and points to a wooden door painted in teal-green to the left of us, “Take your time and I’ll fix us some breakfast. The kitchen isn’t hard to find, but if you’re lost you can just ask the portraits. Or call for a house-elf.” He seems jittery, his movements jerky as if he longs to run out the door and escape the awkwardness. And it’s so different from how he was behaving when we woke up. I must have ruined it somehow.

 

He shoves a pile of clothes into my arms.

 

“Come down when you’re finished.” He departs as if I’m contagious.

 

I don’t even know what I did this time.

 

 

* * *

 

  
The water feels like heaven. It stings gratifyingly in all of the open sores. It feels like punishment. And I deserve it, that and more.

 

I know now why there has always been a lingering darkness in the eyes of my father. Why he seems burdened even when he laughs, why he seems broken even though he’s the most competent person I know.

 

I feel it now. I’m broken. War breaks you.

 

The damage can never be undone, and now I must live with it.

 

I do regret it, and at the same time I don’t. I would’ve hated myself if someone I love was injured, or killed, and I wasn’t on the battlefield with them. If my dad has to shoulder the guilt I must share that burden with him.

 

And even as I know this to be the absolute truth, I still feel monstrously bad about it. There is blood on my hands that will never wash away. I am broken now, and even though it was inevitable it’s still horrible.

 

The tears stop falling as I towel myself dry, and I step into the pants I was given, Scorpius pants, dear Merlin.

 

And the thought of him downstairs, soft and in his pyjamas, it’s still like a dream.

 

I put the rest of the clothes on, a simple white tshirt that is a bit too small on me, and a grey pair of joggers, before stepping out of his room and into the corridor lined with portraits.

 

“Sorry to bother you, but could you point me in the direction of the kitchen please?” A regal looking lady scowls at me, but points towards the staircase non the less.

 

Malfoy Manor is precisely as posh as I imagined it to be.

 

There’s a lot of dark wood panelling and every corner is filled with expensive antiques. The staircase is made of marble, and it feels cold beneath my bare feet.

 

When I get down to the ground floor the smell of breakfast hits me, and suddenly my hunger feels like it’s carved a hole in my stomach, the intensity of it is staggering.

 

And like he said, it’s easy to find the kitchen when I can follow the frankly mouthwatering smell that it emits.

 

“There you are!” He is standing by the counter, flipping bacon in a frying pan, “Sit down, you can start with the eggs before they get rubbery.”

 

I sit down on a barstool and tuck in. The eggs taste divine, and I can’t help but moan at the feeling of putting something in my empty stomach.

 

He smiles at me, and preens a bit, probably happy about how delicious I think his food is.

 

“The anti-apparition net was a success. They managed to apprehend most of them after the moon was up, they kind of gave up. The Dans was afraid of their own werewolves even though they were all on wolfsbane potion, and very much in control of themselves. Kind of ironic that their downfall was caused by their own prejudiced beliefs, don’t you think?” He puts the bacon on two plates.

 

“Inevitable, surely.” I smile at him and start cutting up the bacon, trying hard not to just shovel them in my mouth like I want to.

 

“You’re quite right.” He sits down on the other side of the breakfast bar.

 

“Cory! Something smells delicious in here!” Marcel opens the door to the kitchen and the hole that previously filled my stomach opens right up again.

 

What the fuck is he doing here.

 

“What the fuck is he doing here?!” Marcel points at me, and I have this ridiculous urge to bite his finger right off.

 

“Albus is my guest here, same as you.” Scorpius answers in a tone of voice that could have been significantly icier, in my opinion.

 

Marcel bends down to kiss him on the cheek and that’s just swell, isn’t it.

 

My hackles are rising and I try my best to tackle my temper, but it feels bloody impossible. Someone was lacing his food with drugs? There’s a probable suspect right here.

 

“Same as him?” I ask Scorpius, and begs him with my eyes to deny it.

  
  
“Well, it’s -” he starts, but Marcel interrupts him by swiping a piece of bacon from his plate. And proceeding to smile smugly at me.

 

“He’s been living here?” I ask, and it’s almost as I can’t get the words past the lump in my throat at first.

 

“Yes.” Marcel answers, and sits down next to Scorpius putting his disgusting arm around him.

 

I stand up before even consciously deciding to do so. The screech of the barstool is deafening.

 

“Thank you for breakfast.” I say, before walking out of the kitchen, and the Manor.

 

 

* * *

 

  
“Albus, slow down for fuck sake!” Scorpius shouts, but I can’t face him right now. This morning made me feel so hopeful about us. And hope is an ugly thing. Makes you stupid.

 

The stones of the pathway leading towards the imposing gates are unforgiving on my bare feet, but I relish the way it gives me something to focus on besides the feeling of my heart slamming against my ribcage like it wants to escape it.

 

I just want to get past the wards so that I can apparate, but my pride won’t let me run. When has pride ever been good for anything?

 

“Albus!” He must’ve been running cause somehow he catches up with me. He spins me around forcibly by grabbing my arm and twisting it.

 

“Where are you going?” He grits his teeth in anger and my arm is still tightly gripped.

 

“Home.” I try to shake his hand off me but he won’t budge.

 

“So you’re just going to leave here because of what? Because Marcel has been staying in my house?”

 

“You need to stop doing this to me, Scorpius. It’s either him or me, you can’t have us both.” I try to sound decisive, but it comes out sounding pathetic.

 

“You can’t stop me from seeing my friends! That’s just an absurd thing to demand!”

 

“He does not see you as a friend. And you’re sleeping with him!” Merlin, the mere thought of it makes me furious.

 

“I’m not sleeping with him! I haven’t been since you came back.” He finally releases my arm, and I immediately wish he hadn’t, “And you have no right to demand anything of me. What about Gabe? I would never ask you to stop seeing him!”

 

“Gabe is nothing like Marcel.” The fact that he made the comparison makes me insulted on Gabes behalf.

 

“He’s in love with you and you keep stringing him along!” Scorpius shouts.

 

“He’s in love with Rose, and it’s none of your business!” My voice also gets louder, it’s like I can’t help myself.

 

“He wasn’t in love with Rose at Hogwarts, and Marcel is none of your business!” He’s panting now, and all I can think about is how sexy he looks.

 

“You know what, fuck it! If you can’t even handle seeing someone I’ve slept with, I can’t trust that your feelings for me are even real. Come to think of it, I can’t remember if you’ve ever even said that you have feelings for me!”

 

“I do! You know I do!” I grab his arm to keep him from leaving.

 

“I don’t know anything, I just see a million different possibilities. I don’t know what’s real anymore.” And now it sounds like he’s about to cry. It makes me feel like a right bastard.

 

“What can I do to prove to you that it’s real?” He turns away from me and it hurts.

 

“Don’t do anything if you’re not going to stay.” He mutters.

 

“I’m staying.” I tilt his head up so that he’ll look me in the eyes, “I’m staying.” I’ll repeat it as many times as he needs me to.

 

“Show me?” He asks, and I nod even though I don’t know how.

 

He grabs my arm again and apparates us.

 

“Show me it’s real.” He says again as soon as we reappear in his bedroom.

 

I stroke his hair with my hand, relishing the silkiness of it between my fingers. I know now what he wants, and it makes me so nervous.

 

“I need to feel it.” He says, and mashes our lips together. My hand in his hair tightens, and I tug a little which causes him to moan desperately.

 

The kiss is full of teeth, and it feels more aggressive than sentimental.

 

It’s wonderful, the taste of him. I tilt his head so that I can kiss him deeper. It makes me greedy, the feel of him. I scrape my nails on his scalp, alternately stroking and tugging his hair until his scrunchy falls out.

 

His still in his pyjamas and as delicious the silk feels against my hands, his skin is guaranteed to feel better.

 

“Let me undress you gorgeous.” I whisper, putting both hands underneath his silk shirt and trail them from his waist, over his ribs and finally up to his shoulders. He raises his arms over his head so that we can take it off him. He’s full of sharp angles and inches and inches of glorious, soft creamy skin. I can’t wait to mark it all up. Make his skin raised and blotchy, bruise it with my mouth, lick and suck on every little inch of him. The fact that he was wearing the crystal pedant underneath his shirt makes me possessive as fuck.

 

“So beautiful.” I whisper it against his collarbone, and then I keep the words there with my teeth and tongue, biting softly on the enticing curve of it.

 

He whines like a wounded animal, “Albus!”

 

“What do you want, love?” He’s already trembling, his hands are gripping my tshirt like he wants to rip it off.

 

“You need to fuck me.” He sobs, “I need it!”

 

I have to pry his hands of my (his) tshirt, and as soon as he lets go I yank it off me. His hands return immediately, but now it’s gripping my back and his nails are digging in to my skin. And it hurts like when you accidentally jab yourself with a needle, but I like it. I hope he makes me bleed. I want his marks on my skin.

 

“Albus!” He gasps, as I suck on his neck and jaw, stroking the length of his back with my hands, I stop for a second before grabbing two perfect handfuls of his glorious arse. “AH!” He gasps as I knead it, and the sound combined with the absolute perfection of his cheeks in my hands is like a punch in the gut. Molten heat gathers in the base of my spine and it almost makes me come in my pants.

 

Instead of rutting against him like I want to, I take a step back. As soon as we separate a mere inch he moves towards me instinctively. And that small thing makes my heart beat impossibly harder.

 

“We need to get those pants off you.” I say, because what I want to say sounds too aggressive, too possessive.

 

We kiss again, but this time we’re both moving towards the bed. The urgency of it makes me feel like the house is on fire.

 

Neither of us is thinking straight, the intensity and the inevitability of this is making our movements too sharp, our kisses too hungry.

 

He falls backwards onto the bed and I pounce on him, and the only thought left in my brain is MORE.

 

Somehow I manage to remove his pants, and the little minx is bare beneath them. The thought of him sleeping almost naked beside me in his silk, in the kitchen with just a thin layer of flimsy fabric, practically nothing, over his cock and arse makes me growl like an animal.

 

“Off! Take them off!” He says, and he manages to drag my (his) joggers down to my thighs, but I have to separate us for a moment to get them completely off. The brief minute that it takes to manage that is almost unbearable.

 

And his grabbing hands tells me that he feels the separation as acutely as I do.

 

“Ah! AL!” He gasps, lifting his legs to trap me between them, his eyes swallowed by the black of his pupils. He looks ravenous.

 

“Not yet sweetheart,” I turn him so that he’s laying on his stomach, and he goes eagerly, “We need to get you loose and open for me first.” And that makes him moan and arch his back so that his arse sticks out enticingly.

 

He’s perfect.

 

“Get on with it!” He whines, and he’s already shaking with keenness and I haven’t even touched him properly yet.

 

“Patience love, I promised you thorough and sloppy didn’t I?” And with that I grab the globes of his arse and part them to get at him with my tongue.

 

“AH!” He shouts, followed by the spasm of his legs as they give up from under him. My hands hold his arse up still, and I hurry to get a pillow underneath him so that I can get back to it.

 

“ALBUS!” He shrieks as I drag my tongue from his balls to his tailbone. That’s right, I can’t help but feel viciously satisfied of the sheer volume of his cries.

 

I moan as he continues to thrash. I want him to feel as desperate as I feel. And that’s what I aim for when I point my tongue and stab it inside. “AH!” He wails, “AH!”

 

My teeth scrape on the outside of his hole, I want to make him really overstimulated, want to make him feel raw. Claw my way inside him, so that he’ll never forget my presence there.

 

My saliva is dripping from his hole by now, and he’s sobbing against the pillow in between cries of ‘please’ and ‘more’.

 

I lubricate my fingers before I bring them up to rub him just outside of where he wants them. He jerks up like he’s being ennervated. “Yes!” He shouts, pushing his arse insistently towards me.

 

“You want it?” I pet his thigh in what I hope is a reassuring way, but he kicks at me half heartedly, “Fuck you Albie, just get the fuck on with it!” But he sounds more devastated than angry.

 

“I know you want to feel it love, I know you want the penetration to sting, but I want to get you so, so ready for me. I’ll make you so sensitive baby, you’re going to be so loose but so puffy you’ll feel every single inch of it, I promise.” I say, my lips moving against his hole, and he jerks minutely with every word of it.

 

He seems to sag, his body settling to wait, and that’s when I push two fingers inside him.

 

“AH!” His whole body jolts, arching like a bowstring. His legs spread impossibly further, “Albus!” He shouts again, both with anger and with reverence as he comes and comes. His insides tighten around my fingers, and his hands tighten in the bunched up sheets, and he tries desperately to breathe but it sounds more like wheezing.

 

It’s over too soon. I couldn’t memorise it properly before he’s slumping down onto the mattress, softer than I’ve ever seen him before.

 

“Cory love,” It slips out before I can stop it, “How are you feeling?”

 

“Betrayed.” He grumbles. My heart sinks for a second before he lifts his head and smirks at me. “You promised me a good seeing to, and all I got was two fingers and an admittedly talented tongue.”

 

I laugh, part relived part achingly enamoured, “I’m not finished with you yet sweetheart.”

 

His answering smile spreads like avada through my heart.

 

 

 

 

 


	23. A firm grasp of reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Sorry for the delay (haha as always) but I’ve been seriously ill and stuff. So I hope that you can forgive me! A huge thank you to all of the people who’re reading and leaving kudos, and special thanks to rayanchokr, Lizanne64, Marmaid, TwinzLover, Halfblood_witch and youkaii for commenting! Comments make me very happy!
> 
> WARNING: Explicit descriptions of sex

 

  


  


“It wasn’t like it is in my visions.” Scorpius whispers. We’re face to face on his enormous bed and his large, bony hand is clutching mine between us.

  


“How was it different?” I try not to tense up, it would be just my luck to not live up to my own alternate universe accomplishments.

  


“It was better. It felt real.” He smiles shyly, and I can’t resist kissing him again. And again.

  


It turns heated straight away, the taste of him alone sets me off. The sound of his aborted moans, the slight vibration of his taut body. My aching erection throbs and reminds us both that I haven’t come yet.

  


He puts his legs around my waist to pull me against him, and we both moan at the delicious contact, his naked skin brushing against my cock with painful pressure.

  


“Come on, Albus.” He whispers, punctuating the sentence with a quick bite to my earlobe, “Fuck me.”

  


I curl my hand in his hair and tug it so that his neck is exposed, the love bites from earlier stark against his pale skin. I suck on them deliberately, to make them unavoidably present on him. Hopefully forever.

  


His cock goes fully hard in a matter of seconds. I tug on his hair a bit harder and he chokes out a loud moan.

  


Good. I want him desperate.

  


“How do you feel, love?” I push two fingers inside him, “Are you too sensitive to take my cock?”

  


He gasps and immediately grab my hand to ensure that my fingers stay inside, grinding filthily against my knuckles.

  


“How about another finger?” I whisper in his ear, and he shivers.

  


“No!” He whines, “No more fingers! Put your cock in me right now Albus, or I swear -” I interrupt his threat by introducing another finger. His breathing turns shallow and his mouth falls open.

  


“That’s it sweetheart.” I whisper, bringing my other hand up to his left nipple to pinch and tug at it. His noises grow increasingly frantic. He’s outright panting.

  


“That’s it baby.” I feel so uncontrollably possessive. So extremely attached. Every exhale of his makes my chest tighten.

  


“Albus!” He screams, as I nudge his prostate with the tip of my fingers.

  


“That’s it baby.” I can’t help but say, “There it is.”

  


I continue to pluck at his delectable pink nipples, simultaneously kissing every inch of reachable flesh.

  


“Please. Please!” He gasps, reaching up to clasp my arms, tightening his legs around my waist.

  


I welcome the feeling of being devoured of him, I just want to sink into his skin, stay inside of him forever.

  


“Now! Do it!” He shouts, and his hand reaches down to grasp my cock and he pushes it against his hole, currently stuffed with my fingers.

  


“Patience, love.” I say, even though I’m not feeling very patient myself.

  


I slowly remove my fingers, after carefully scissoring them one last time while his insides clench tightly, trying to prevent me from removing them.

  


He throws his head back and whines, “Please”

  


My hand moves to put one of his legs over my shoulder and he throws his head back, moaning loudly when my cock nudges his rim.

  


“YES!” He screams, and I know I promised to drag it out, take it slow, but I’m shattered by his enthusiasm.

  


I plunge in, all the way in, and we both tremble because of it. He whines, locking the leg he has around my waist to keep me from pulling out.

  


“Yes!” He gasps, clenching his long fingers around whatever part of me he finds.

  


I slowly grind my pelvis in short circles, laving at the skin of his neck.

  


“Albus!” He grabs a hold of my head and steers my mouth to his, and the kiss is filthy.

  


He gets distracted enough to loosen the hold of his leg around my waist, and I take advantage of it by pulling out, almost all the way. His leg scramble immediately to pull me back in.

  


But I wont make it easy for him, resisting the pressure until he stops kissing me to pout and complain, “Al -”

  


I push right back in before he has the chance to say anything else. His leg moves right back to holding me in.

  


“You’ve got to let me move, love.” I say, smiling down at him, looking perfectly debauched and needy.

  


“Stay.” He whispers, “Stay inside.”

  


“Don’t you want me to fuck you sweetheart?” My hand moves to remove some of his hair that’s stuck to his face, “Isn’t that what I’m here for?” I smirk teasingly, but he frowns.

  


“That’s not what you’re here for.” He says.

  


“No?” I kiss his cheek, kiss his earlobe.

  


“No.” He grabs my head again to get me to look him at him, “Well yes, technically, but not primarily.”

  


“And what is my primary purpose in your bed then?” I smile and turn my head to kiss his fingertips.

  


“I love you.” He says, and seems shocked that he uttered the words. A lovely deep flush spreads on his skin from his cheeks all the way down to his stomach.

  


It takes a while for my brain to catch up, and when it does he has already released me from the hold he had with his leg and turned his head away, covering his face with his hands.

  


“No, don’t hide from me sweetheart.” I try to remove his hands, but he manages to keep them where they are.

  


“Look at me.” I plead, but he refuses to budge, and he is starting to lose his erection.

  


“I love you too.” I manage to get one of his hands away from his face, and he glares at me.

  


“I don’t want your pity!” He looks like he’s about to cry, and I move to pull out, “No! Please no.” He gasps, “Please just fuck me. Stay.”

  


“Sweetheart, I need you to believe me when I say that I love you.” I say, but I stay inside of him, not moving.

  


“I don’t know what’s real.” He says.

  


“This is real.” I take his hand and press it against my chest, against my heartbeat, “I’m real and I love you.” He looks at his hand, doesn’t raise his eyes to mine.

  


“It’s impossible.” He whispers.

  


“It’s real.”

  


“Prove it. Make me feel it.” He pleads, and moves the hand that was pressed to my chest to clutch in my hair.

  


“You have to believe me.” I say, and punctuate it with a sharp thrust that makes him let out a startled moan.

  


“More!” He gasps.

  


“Whatever you want gorgeous.” I pull out to push in again, just as hard. To make us both feel it.

  


“Ah!” He grips my arms to get some leverage, “Yes! Just like that!” His leg winds around my hip and back again.

  


I set a punishing rhythm. Can’t help but take him hard, he seems to crave it.

  


“Harder!” He gasps, digging his nails into the skin of my arms.

  


I pull almost all the way out, letting the head of my cock catch at his rim, and this makes him throw his head back and whine.

  


I stop for a second or two, letting him feel it, his arching neck bared as well as his teeth when he snarls at me, “Fuck me!”

  


When I plunge back in, I do it mercilessly. When my pelvis smack the back of his legs he screams, “YES!”

  


My whole body flushes, warmth spreading and pooling at the base of my spine. His raw hunger makes me insatiable.

  


I keep the pace, bracing my right hand on his shoulder to keep him firmly pinned down as I fuck him.

  


“AL!” He screams, “Al, Al, Al, Al!” His every exhale a gust of my name.

  


The possessive part of me curls in satisfaction. The precarious grip on my sanity is slipping. He fills me up, his beauty, his warmth, the sounds that he makes.

  


I gather him in my arms, putting them both behind his back, gripping his shoulders with both of my hands so that he’s balanced on my lap.

  


His hands come up to grip my neck, tangle in my hair.

  


I suck and lick his neck, grinding my cock in small circles.

  


“Is this what you want darling?” I hold him firmly against me, impaled on my cock, unable to get any leverage.

  


“Yes!” He gasps, and forcibly moves my head so that he can kiss me. It’s a wet kiss, we both keep panting into each others mouths. I lick into him desperately while his long thin fingers clasp my head to keep me close.

  


“Take me hard.” He whispers in my ear, before clambering off my lap and positioning himself on his hands and knees.

  


I put my hands on the insides of his thighs, splaying his legs wider before immersing my cock into him again. His hands lose their grip on the mattress and his upper-body collapses, making his back arch like a bow, arse still up because of my grip on his thighs.

  


The sight of it alone could make me come.

  


“More!” He shouts, his fingers fisting in the sheet.

  


And what can I do besides give it to him? My thumbs rests on either side of his cock, and I can feel it bouncing as I fuck him with all that I have.

  


Strands of his hair gets caught in his mouth as he pants, and as I move my hand to brush it from his face he grips my wrist and shoves my fingers in his mouth.

  


The feeling of him sucking my fingers is too much. I know that I’m seconds away from coming.

  


I pull out, duck under his leg as I turn him around to lie on his back, shove three fingers inside him and swallow his cock in one fell swoop.

  


“AH!” He screams, and his cock pulses inside my mouth, his come shooting down the back of my throat. His arse clenching around my fingers.

  


It’s almost enough to make me come.

  


“Come on me!” He gasps, as soon as his cock stops pulsing, “Mark me up!”

  


It sounds like the best idea I’ve ever heard, I grasp myself with my right hand and put the head of my cock at his rim. It only takes me one, two strokes before I come all over his hole. It flutters pleasingly as my come lands on it, in him.

  


His whole body shudders, “Put it in me.”

  


I gather some of it on my fingers and put them inside of him again, his cock twitches valiantly.

  


I lie down beside him, scooping up some more of it on his thigh and gently reinserting my fingers again. He whines.

  


“Does this feel real?” I whisper in his ear, whilst stroking my fingers carefully over the raised bump of his prostate.

  


“Yes!” He turns his head to look me in the eye, raising his hand to take a hold of my head. His thumb strokes my cheek.

  


 

* * *

 

  


“I used to dream about us being best friends,” His voice is low, barely above a whisper, his voice hoarse from screaming, “Even before I knew I was having visions, I was utterly convinced that the dreams were true, and that it was just a matter of time before we would become close.”

  


I try to bring his back closer to my front, my arm clasping him tightly against me.

  


“And then, when we didn’t become best friends, I was so confused. I didn’t know what I’d done wrong.”

  


“You did nothing wrong.” I kiss him carefully behind his ear.

  


“So when the dreams changed, when I started having visions of having sex with you, I thought that they were wishful thinking. Just like the ones about our friendship.”

  


“I wanted to be your friend but I didn’t know how to approach you.” I tell him, thinking about that awful date that he overheard. It still makes me sick just thinking about it, thinking about the look in his eyes.

  


“I know I can be a bit prickly at times.” He sighs.

  


“You are perfect. And I never had visions of us, but certainly wished for it all the same.” I tell him.

  


“It’s too good to be true.” He sighs again.

  


“It’s real.” I nibble on his neck before repeating it, as many times as he needs.

  


“Don’t leave me.” He says it quietly, but his hand on my arm tightens to the point of pain.

  


“I won’t ever leave you.” I say.

  


  


* * *

  


  


I wake up to an insistent tapping.

  


“Owl.” Scorpius says, sounding very, very tired.

  


So I get up to open the window for it, his hands grasping for me as I walk away.

  


The Northern Hawk Owl doesn’t even wait for me to get the window properly opened, he pushes his large wings inside and presses the rest of his body through the narrow gap.

  


I chuckle, “Bit impatient, yeah?”. But he just sticks out his leg commandingly.

  


Dutifully, I remove the letter clasped to his leg, giving him a little pat on the head even though he looks at me in the same way that Rose looks at everyone. With apparent disapproval.

  


_Dear Albus,_

  


_No one dares to tell your father yet but someone found “evidence” linking you to the poisoning of our Possible Outcome Strategy Specialist, Scorpius Malfoy._

  


_I know that this must be some mix up (or in worst case, some kind of plan to frame you for a serious crime) but they’re moving to apprehend you very soon._

  


_Please be careful,_

_your brother_

_Teddy_

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..........................don't kill me because of this. Still not finished lmao


	24. The beginning of the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG IT'S FINISHED!!! I never thought this would happen. 
> 
> ... well I did think it would happen but STILL. Writing the last chapter took me way longer than expected. And I'm sure some of you won't like the ending, some parts of me don't like it either. It's always extremely hard to finish something in a way that it deserves. I think this is a good ending for me, but it also leaves it open for a sequel or a one shot epilogue, so fair warning. I have a tendency to do that to all of my fics.
> 
> Thank you to all who’ve read this, to everyone who left kudos and to all of you who took the time to comment. Without the love and support I never would’ve finished it. 
> 
> A special mention to Halfblood_witch, Persephone Lancaster, plucie, davidwv and traintravks for leaving comments on the last chapter. It made me speed up my game (even though I’m the slowest writer around). 
> 
>  
> 
> ONWARDS!

  


“Scorpius!” I say, going over to the bed where he seems to have fallen asleep again. He just hums in answer, so I shake him a little to wake him up.

  


“Scorpius!” He blinks at me slowly, and when his eyes focus on me he seems confused.

  


“Oh no.” He whispers, “Something happened?”  
  


“You have to believe me, I had nothing to do with it!” I answer.

  


“With what?” He asks.

  


“Teddy wrote to me, he says the Aurors are coming. Apparently someone found evidence linking me to the poison that you drank!” I grab his hand, “I promise you, I had nothing to do with it!”

  


He snorts, “Of course you didn’t. But they won’t care if you’re innocent. Someone obviously planted that evidence, which means someone wants you out of the picture. Probably a lot of people, given the fact that you overindulged in showing off your excessive magical prowess.” He tugs at his lose hair.

  


“You’re going to have to leave me again.” He states, curling up into a fetal position on the bed.

  


“Tell me how I can stay and I will.” I feel hopeless, as if happiness will always be just out of reach, impossible to hold on to.  


 

“You can’t. You can’t stay -” He sits up abruptly, throws himself into my arms, “Penny and Gabe are on their way. I’ll stay and try to figure out who’s behind it, and try to clear your name. And then you’ll come back to me.”

  


“I’m coming back? You’ve seen it?” I whisper.

  


“No. But I will. Or I’ll come find you. But we must figure out who’s behind this first; know thy enemy and what not.” He clutches my back desperately, “I’ll find you.”

  


I feel like this might be the end. I can’t get myself to let go.

  


A house-elf pops up, “Master Scorpius, you have guests.”

  


“Who is it?” He bolts up to put on a pair of trousers, and I try to get myself to stand up, but my limbs feel paralysed.

  


“A very aggressive young lady and... what I suppose is her intermediator.”

  


“Penny and Gabe.” I say, as in a daze.

  


“Thank you Mootch. You can show them to the parlour and we’ll meet them there.” Scorpius says, one arm sticking out of his tunic, whilst I’m still perched on the bed.

  


 

* * *

  


 

“Get dressed Albus, your rescue party has already arrived.” He sounds dejected.

  


I stumble towards a pile of clothes, grabbing a pair of joggers and a tshirt. His clothes.

  


“Albus!” Penny bursts in, shoving the door open without knocking, Gabe in tow.

  


I managed to pull the pants up before she barged in. Thank Merlin for small mercies.

  


“You’ve heard?” I ask.

  


“Ron told Rose who told Gabe. Nobody dared to tell your dad or it would be him and not us. And we need him and his Head Auror position if we’re ever going to sort this mess out.” She gives Scorpius a nod.

 

“Are you ready?” Gabe asks me.

  


“No. I’m not ready. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.” I soak in the bitterness of it for a second or two before determinedly shoving it aside, “And besides, you’re not coming.” I say to Gabe.

  


“What are you talking about?” He scoffs.

  


“You have Rose now, she needs you.” I say, trying to sound more sure of myself than I actually am. What else is new?

  


“Rose can take care of herself.” He looks angry.

  


“So can I. And Penny is coming too. We’ll be fine.” I know better than asking Penny to stay behind. There’s no way she would even consider it.

  


“And what are you and Penny going to do? Alienate people and isolate yourselves? Stop living because you’re forced to be somewhere else?” His voice has gone low and tight, we call it Gabes’ “angry but repressed voice”.

  


“And you’re going to let us. Because you need to be here.” I reel him in for a brief hug. It feels like severing a limb.

  


“You’re a right bastard.” He tells me.

  


“Yes, with an emphasis on right.” I smile at him and he hits my arm in what appears to be annoyance (but also heartbreak, which we both pretend isn’t noticeable).

  


“We better get going.” Penny says, ever the pragmatic.

  


I turn towards him, trying to keep it together long enough to not cry. He stares at the hardwood floor like it’s the most interesting thing he has ever seen.

  


“You’re going to come get us? After it…” I inhale shakily, “Afterwards?” I’m not even sure about what I meant with ‘afterwards’. I guess it’s just one of those things you say when you have no idea about what’s going to happen, or when it’s going to happen.

  


“I’ll come get you.” He looks up, “After we’ve sorted things out.”

  


I move forwards in the exact moment that he does.

  


He throws his arms around my neck and I wind mine around his waist. Pressed against him like this, I don’t know if I can bare to let go.

  


“You’ll be able to find us, right?” I whisper against the shell of his ear.

  


“Most definitely. I see you all the time.” He answers.

  


“We’re leaving right now.” Penny grumbles.

  


I take her hand, and darkness envelopes us.

  


  


* * *

 

  


Americans are very friendly, but they’re not very good at staying clear of your personal space. It’s not a huge problem, it’s just that they always seem to stand a bit too close. My British sensibilities keeps me from actually saying something about why I’m uncomfortable, which means I just nod awkwardly until I can leave. Penny likes to tease me about it, but she was quite confused in the beginning as well (she thought everyone was trying to flirt with her), which, in turn, made her overly aggressive.

  


It took us a while to fit in.

  


But after a while we kind of did. After four months of living in San Francisco, I can say with confidence (finally) that we’re settled in. I have a job in a small bookshop, Penny works in a café. Not that we’re happy, no. Happy would mean getting to speak to our families, seeing Gabe, seeing _Scorpius_.

  


Happiness is a feeling which seems so distant after the battle. Some days I’m not sure if I will ever be able to feel happiness again, regardless if Scorpius and Gabe were here with us. Sometimes Penny and I curl up together and cry because of what we have done, because of what we have seen. And in those moments I feel like even if I don’t have happiness I will still have belonging, and that’s more than enough. It has to be.

  


This whole “running away and hiding in America”- thing is not going to get Pansy Parkinson to warm up to me. I think getting Penny’s mum to let me into the house is going to be impossible from now on.

  


If we ever get back home.

  


And I know that I need to stop thinking about that possibility, it only makes my anxiety worse, but it looks more and more plausible with every week that goes by without us hearing from anyone. Without knowing what’s going on.

  


And for the first time I envy Scorpius for his sight. And I know how unfair it is, when it made him such a target during the war (even though I was a target myself, I know it was worse for him). But he sees me and Penny and doesn't have to worry about us, because he must see that we’re fine. And I don’t know anything about what’s happening at home. What if he’s in danger, and I’m stuck all the way over here without even knowing that he is, let alone being able to help in any way.

  


It sucks. Or, as Penny puts it, it sucks big fat Hippogriff balls.

  


  


* * *

  


  


“I’m looking for that Fifty Shades of Grey-book but I can’t seem to find it on my own, could you fetch it for me?” A lady in a smart fashionable jumpsuits asks, and I have to take a few deep breaths so that I won’t start laughing. The bookshop owner, Theresa, absolutely abhors that book. Thank Merlin she’s not here, she would’ve probably thrown this poor unsuspecting customer out of the shop.

  


“Sorry, we don’t have it. But there’s a Barnes & Noble just down the street.” I try to make my smile friendly, but some people (Penny) says that it’s mostly unnerving.

  


“That’s a gorgeous accent you’ve got there. Can I buy you a cup of coffee?” The smile that she shoots me is a bit more convincing than mine was. And I can’t seem to muster up another one.

  


“I’m flattered, but taken.” I say, adding a “Sorry.” at seeing her crestfallen look.

  


“The best ones always are.” She adds with a wink before leaving the shop.

  


“Taken?” I hear a voice say from behind the bookshelves, and the unexpectedness of it makes me spill my tea. Before I can even think about wiping it up he steps out from where we store the gardening books.

  


He looks good. Good but gaunt.

  


“Hi Albus.” His mouth turns upwards in a valiant effort to smile.

  


“Scorpius.” I breathe it out like a prayer, probably sounding as desperate as I feel. My brain scrabbles for something to say, and before I can stop myself, what pops out of it is, “It’s good to see you.”

  


He snorts out a sound that almost qualifies as a laugh, “You too.”

  


He takes a small step forward, and I, for some unexplainable reason, stand up.

  


And then I contemplate sitting back down in an effort to make it less awkward.

  


“Did you figure out who did it?” I wipe my hands on my trousers to make them less sweaty but they only end up wetter because of the spilled tea.

  


“Yes. It was one of our house-elves. One of the Dolohovs, involved in the Dans, apparently owns his father and they managed to persuade the elf to dose my food by saying that it was a potion meant to increase my appetite. The elf had gone to his father for advice on how to get me to eat more because he thought that I looked far too skinny and unhealthy. His father had been instructed by Dolohov to use his son to spy on our household, and when he asked for advice Dolohov told the father to give him the potion.”

  


“What happened to the elf?” I ask, moving a bit closer to him.

  


“He tried to kill himself when he figured out what kind of potion it was. Fortunately, my father stopped him. He confessed to it in court, but we had to protect him from himself and from the people in the Ministry that wanted to see you take the fall for it.” He reaches out to me, one hand grasping the air for mine. I step closer to take a hold of it.

  


“What was the proof that they said implicated me?” He licks his lips and I can’t help but trace the movement afterwards with my thumb.

  


“They had an eye-witness. Teachers from Hogwarts saying you were good at Potions, saying you were unstable and unreliable. Other students telling them that they’ve heard you go on about ‘the purging of wizard society’ and saying the word ‘mudblood’ on several occasions.” His hand squeezes mine tightly, “They were all being paid for testifying of course.”

  


“Who paid them?” I ask, noticing how the evening light splays over his long neck, as if highlighting it.

  


“I don’t know yet.” He breathes in, “But I can’t stay away from you any longer.”

  


I release is hand to pull him into a crushing hug.

  


“I’ve missed you so much.” I whisper in his ear, and put my nose to the skin of his neck to breathe him in.

  


“Every night I’ve dreamed of you.” His fingers twine their way into my hair, “I’ve put my fingers inside me wishing it was you. I’ve been waiting. I haven’t been with anyone else, and I don’t want to be. Just you, please Albus, I don’t care if you’ve had others. But please, I want to be with you.”

  


“There’s no one else.” I pull him closer, so that his whole body is flushed against mine, “Only you. I only want you.”

  


“Come home with me. We can face it together.” He says, and I nod my head as much as I can seeing it’s smashed against the skin of his neck.

  


“Anything.” I say.

  


  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ........... and I'm crying now because this fic kept me going in dark, dark times. 
> 
> ILY <3


End file.
